Chapter 84: Big Girls Don't Cry

Warning: Language, abusive relationships

  The car was supposed to be a hobby to help keep his grandfather out of trouble, except Alder didn't like working on cars, he only liked driving them, and the faster the better.  Colin pulled a wrench out of the toolbox, the task of making it a running car seemed to have fallen on his shoulders.  Colin didn't mind, he actually found it soothing at times, he could beat on it and have his choice of who he pictured while he did so, bird boy, or a*shole.

  He heard the giggling again, and his lips twisted.  Today it would be the a*shole.  He pounded on the rusty part with the wrench.

  "I don't think that's the proper way to fix a car."

  Colin turned slightly and faced his Dad, wrench in hand.  "Maybe not, but it keeps me from pounding the sh*t out of the a*shole."

  "Luna's happy with him."  Ryder observed.

  Colin grunted.  "Today."  He had tried to talk his daughter about the a*shole, but she had stubbornly defended him and his stupid a*s choices.  Choices that had made his daughter cry too many nights in a row after talking to the a*shole on the phone.  She thought no one would hear her in her room, but Colin heard her.  Everything he had tried to tell her fell on deaf ears, she wasn't interested in hearing it, and she had even threatened to move out and never speak to him again.  So he had backed off.  Was he f*cking happy about it?  F*ck no, but he didn't want to f*cking drive her away either, then she would only have the a*shole.

  "Being a parent f*cking sucks Dad."  Ryder nodded in agreement, he had been there before.

  Luna giggled.  "Let's try this again!  Smile!" 

   She held her phone out and tried to snap another picture, but Devin tickled her again, causing her to squeak and drop her phone...again.  "Dev!" she scolded playfully.  "I want a nice picture of us, you're not being very cooperative."  She bent down and picked her phone up, dusting off the snow.

  Devin laughed.  "Luna, you're putting on too much weight for it to be a nice picture.  Just look at how chubby your cheeks are!"  He shook his head.  "You could stand to lose a few pounds."

  Luna bit her lip.  She had tried not to gain too much weight, and she thought she had been fairly successful.  Many people didn't even know she was pregnant.  "I'm sorry, it's the baby."

  Devin rolled his eyes.  "That's always your go to excuse isn't it Luna?  When in fact it's because you're such a lazy cow, if you ate less, and exercised more, well, I might find you more attractive."

  Luna was crushed.  "You don't find me attractive?"

  "When you're a fat cow?  Not as much, but it's all good baby, I still love you."  Luna's face fell, she appreciated his honesty, but the words still hurt.  "Hey, just to make you happy, take a picture of this."  Luna raised her phone and snapped a picture just as Devin kissed her.

 

  He let his hand wander up, and he squeezed her breast.  "I do like how big your boobs are getting though.  Just thinking about them is making me really horny right now.   Baby, how about we go to your bedroom."  He kissed her neck while his hand fondled her breasts.

  Luna tried to push his hands away.  "Dev, please don't!  We're in public, and at my Dad's house."

  Devin growled.  "Don't be such a c*ck tease Luna.  We're practically married, and you're living here now right?"  Luna nodded her head yes.  "Then that means this is your house too, not just your father's.  So let's go to your bedroom Baby, just the thought of pulling one over on your old man turns me on."

  "But," Luna tried once more, "our house is just over..."

  Devin covered her mouth with his own, forcefully kissing her and shutting her words off.  "Why don't you want me in your room Luna?  Has Turnip been there?"  He hissed.  "Well, has he?  Did you f*ck him in there Luna?"

  "Dev, you're hurting me.  I've told you before, it's not like that between Tanner and I, we're just friends."  Luna winced, whenever Tanner came up in conversation, which was often, Devin's mood turned ugly.  She loved that he was jealous, it proved that he loved her, but she just wished he would take her at her word sometimes.  They were only friends.  She knew how to turn this around though, she could hear her father clanking around in the garage, he was preoccupied, so..."Okay, I'll sneak you in."  At least she knew that Devin was still a little attracted to her.

  Jack frowned at the digital diagram in front of him.

 

 
   He needed to be able to teleport more than just a package of data, and according to the mechanics of Quantum entanglement theory, it should be possible.  He scratched his head absently.  But how?  Ethan's diagrams and equations outlined most of it, except the one critical part, the sheer size of a human versus the size of a packet of data.

  He had asked digital Ethan about it, but he had been of no help.  The real Ethan had never had the time to finish testing and figuring it out, it really was up to Jack.  He sighed.  What he needed was some sort of quantum nanite that could transfer data at the sub atomic particle level.  He sighed again, and rubbed his temples wearily.  What he needed even more than that was a helper of some sort, one that didn't require sleep or food, and could just keep running the equations and 3D models.  What he needed was a robot version of himself.

  He chuckled to himself.  As if that could ever happen!  But, what if?  The what if question had always been a tantalizing concept to him.  Could he make a robot version of himself?  Did he dare try?  He didn't want to waste valuable time chasing a distraction, but on the other hand, if he had robot, it would actually help him gain time by making him twice as efficient.  He grabbed a notebook and began to jot down some notes.


~<>~


  Luna stared down at the ice cream container, spoon still in hand.

    She felt panicky and slightly nauseous, how had she downed half a carton of ice cream so quickly?  She couldn't believe it, she had meant to only have a spoonful, but it had tasted so good, that she had kept eating it and eating it and eating it.  She was so disgusted with herself, she had acted like the pig that Devin always accused her of being.  It turned out he was right, and the proof was in front of her.

  She pushed the carton away from her as a wave of nausea hit her.  She couldn't gain any more weight, if Devin ever really left her for good, she would be utterly devastated. It was bad enough she had pushed the baby on him, but to add gaining weight on top of it?

  She got up and paced around the kitchen, trying to get rid of the anxiety that flooded her body.  She took some deep calming breaths.  She had promised herself she wouldn't do it anymore, she didn't want to hurt her baby.  She paced some more, trying to outpace the urge.  If only she were strong enough, but she couldn't bear it, she just couldn't bear it, the ice cream had to go.  She ran for the upstairs bathroom, it was hardly ever used, and locked the door behind her.  She knelt down in front of the toilet, and stuck her finger down her throat.  She gagged, making her stomach roil in rebellion.

  She did it again, pushing her finger further back, and she began puking up all the ice cream she had eaten just moments ago.

     When she had emptied her stomach, she flushed the toilet, and used mouthwash to rinse her mouth out.  She splashed some cold water on her face, and stared at the woman in the mirror.  She was such a failure, she couldn't control her urge to eat, or her urge to throw it up afterwards.  She didn't know what Devin saw in her, she was only glad that he saw something.  Glad that he put up with her.  She was so lucky to have him, she didn't want to mess things up.

  She dried her face.  At least the anxiety was gone, purging always helped that.  She rubbed her tummy, and whispered, "I'm so sorry baby.  I'll do better next time, I promise."  It was a promise she hoped she could keep, but so far she hadn't been able to.  She blinked back tears, she was a grown woman now, she was too old to cry.

  She was too old to climb into her Daddy's lap too, and have him fight her battles for her.  Besides, she already knew how he felt, but he just didn't understand Devin the way she did.  He said Devin was no good for her, but he was wrong.  Devin was strong, and popular, and handsome, and a very talented football player, he was going to be a big shot someday.  And every girl wanted him, and wanted to be with him, but he was with her, only her, and not them.

  She unlocked the bathroom door and went into her bedroom.  Her dad had never changed her room, so it looked just like it had before she moved out.  She crawled onto her bed and curled up into a ball, hugging her knees to herself.  She wished her Dad was home, she could really use a hug.

~<>~

  She was on one of her walks when the pains hit her.  She felt as though her stomach was being ripped apart, and she feared something was wrong with her baby.  She called Dev, but he told her to stop being such a drama queen and get her a*s to the hospital.  She would have liked a ride, but when she told him where she was, he told her she was being stupid.  She was only a few blocks away from the hospital.  Once again he was right, and she shuffled her way there as quickly as she could, pausing only when a contraction would force her to.

 

   
   Within minutes of arriving a nurse wheeled her into a room, and just a few moments later,  Doctor Rosenburg rushed in. She liked the doctor, he had kind eyes.  He told her that her baby was ready to come out, so she asked the nurse to call Devin for her once more.  She could tell by the look on the nurse's face that Devin wasn't going to show up.

  Luna didn't have any more time to think about that, her body was taking over.  The pain was excruciating, but she was too close to delivery, they couldn't give her any pain meds.  She cried, tears of joy, not pain, when she saw her son for the first time.  "Trevor."  She whispered his name, and reached out for him.

  "Just a minute Sweetie." the nurse said gently.  "We need to check him out.  He's a little small."

  It took a forever and a day for them to check Trevor over and make sure everything was okay with him.  At least it felt that way to Luna, but once he was certified as healthy and placed into her arms, Luna didn't care about any of it.  She had her beautiful son in her arms.  She breathed in his baby scent, and cuddled him close to her.  He was worth every moment of pain.

  A few hours later, she was ready to be released.  She called Devin to pick them up, and he promised to be there in fifteen minutes, so she went outside to wait for him.  She didn't want to upset him by having him come look for them.

 

   She watched for his vehicle, but after forty minutes he still hadn't shown up.  She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.  He answered after the sixth ring, and he sounded angry and out of breath.  "What the h*ll Luna?"

  "What happened to you?  I thought you were going to pick us up?"

   "Something came up Luna, contract negotiations, sorry, you'll have to find another ride."  She heard whispering but couldn't make it out, she was about to ask what he was whispering when he came back with, "I have to go, Luna.  I'll call you later."  Click.  The phone went dead.  She stared at the phone in her hand.  Trevor started to fuss, and she bounced him gently, trying to keep him calm.

  She had left for her walk hours ago, it was now the middle of the night.  She felt like crying, but she sucked it in, and dialed a number.  "Daddy..."

  "Luna, where the h*ll are you?"

  "At the hospital..."

  "I'll be right there."  And he hung up.  She had been hung up on for the second time that night, but the last one was different.  She knew her Dad would show up.  She sighed heavily.  He would end up having to rescue her after all.

  ~<>~

  Colin gently placed his grandson into the crib he had bought for him.

 

  "There you go buddy, home, safe and sound."  Trevor's eyes drifted shut as he yawned sleepily.  Colin smiled down at him.  Not even a few hours old, and Trevor already owned a large part of his heart. Trevor's father though, Colin could happily suit him up with a pair of lead shoes.  The a*shole had left his daughter and grandson stranded.  "Contract negotiations my a*s." he muttered to himself.

  The a*shole couldn't even come up with a lie that made sense.  He wished Luna would see him for what he was, but she had stupid f*cking blinders on where it concerned him.  Colin gritted his teeth.  It was so f*cking hard to watch his daughter put herself through that a*shole's bullsh*t, and not be able to do anything about it.  It had to be f*cking karma laughing at him.  How many women had he hurt by his actions when he was younger? So many faces, and he didn't even f*cking remember their names.  Back then, he hadn't f*cking cared either.  Life was a f*cking b*tch.

  He had been f*cking going out of his f*cking mind worried, when Luna had gone for a walk, and then didn't return.  He had called her friends, no one had f*cking heard from her.  He was sure she had been hit by a f*cking car or something equally as terrible when the hours passed, and there was still no f*cking word from her.  He was just about to f*cking call the police stations and hospitals when she had finally called him.  He had been so f*cking relieved that she was alive, he had only asked her the one question.  Where the h*ll was she?

 When he went to pick her up at the hospital, he noticed she was way too f*cking thin.  She was always eating, so he didn't f*cking know why she kept losing the weight, but if it kept up, he was going to f*cking drag her a*s to the doctors.  Kicking and screaming if need be. 


~<>~


 "You should have let me get him."  Tanner's soft voice startled her.

   "I was already awake, but thanks, Tanner."  Tanner had been at the house the night she had brought Trevor home, he had been as worried about her as her father had been.  Her dad had told him it was too late to drive home, and just to crash in the spare bedroom.  That one night had turned into two, and then three, and so on.  He didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave.

   She had tried to get Tanner to go home many times.  She had told him in no uncertain terms that she could handle this motherhood thing without any help, she was just fine on her own.  Her family pitched in to, so it wasn't like she was totally on her own.  Tanner had simply smiled at her, and stayed anyway.

  She smiled fondly.  She had soaked way too many of his shirts over the years to fool him, he knew her too well.  Knew that she would want the help, but didn't want to have to ask for it.  Knew that just his presence had a way of soothing her, and keeping her calm.  She loved her family dearly, but sometimes they were too much.  Her dad was always trying to feed her, her grandpas fought over the correct way to hold Trevor, her brother Jack probably didn't even know she had been pregnant, and her sister Skye was filled with too much advice.

  She was thankful Tanner hadn't listened to her, because it was so nice to pretend for a little while that she wasn't alone in this. Luna had been a mother for all of thirty days, and she already felt like a failure.  Trevor was fussy, and wanted to be held constantly.  Some nights he wouldn't stop crying, and she felt so helpless that she wanted to cry right along with him.  Then suddenly, Tanner would be there, like an angel, and he would work his magic and manage to get both her and Trevor calmed down.

   Luna turned around to face him, a slight smile on her lips.  "I really do..." she paused as she took in his state of dress, or undress, and then quickly turned around again.   Tanner had a great body.  She hated it when she noticed non-friend things about him, he was just her friend, and her best friend at that.  She shouldn't be noticing how sexy he was in an old bathrobe, and it definitely shouldn't render her speechless either.  After an awkward moment, she said stupidly, "You have pj's here?"   Then she cringed inwardly.

  Tanner looked down at his clothes.  "Yeah, um, well, your Dad said since I practically live here anyway, I might as well move into the spare bedroom.  So I brought some of my stuff over."  He added, a little unsure, "I didn't think you would mind?"

  "No, no, of course not.  But why would you want to live with us?"  Oh please don't let Devin find out, oh please don't let Devin find out, it was a litany in her mind, replaying like a broken record.  What had possessed her father to invite Tanner anyway?  She knew her Dad had always liked him, but really?  Talk about complicating her life, and now Tanner would be walking around the house...like that.  He would be taking showers in the same shower she used.  Suddenly an image of him taking a shower popped into her head.  Her cheeks heated up, and she resisted the urge to fan herself.  Really, she didn't know what was wrong with her, it must be post pregnancy hormones.

  "Why?" he asked, a little perplexed.  "We're best friends aren't we Luna?  I want to be there for you, and for Trevor, like any friend would, you know, cause your boyfriend isn't able to right now."  Tanner made the statement as nicely as he could, he didn't want to get her dander up, and then listen to her defend the creep she was with.

She automatically corrected him.  "Fiance."  He was her best friend, and she was grateful for his willingness to help.  "I appreciate it a lot Tanner, but I feel bad, like I'm taking advantage of you."

  "There's no other place I'd rather be, then here with you and Trevor."

  "Okay, if you're sure."

  "I'm sure."  Tanner replied without hesitation.  Luna would just have to make sure that Devin never found out, she hated to think what his reaction would be to the news that Tanner was living with them.  By her Dad's invitation no less.


~<>~


  Luna slid into the seat next to Tanner.  "Hey, you've been working on the car?  It looks great.  I can't believe Dad let you touch it, let alone sit in the driver's seat."

  Tanner swallowed hard, and forced himself to look away from her.  She wasn't wearing much of a top.  He glanced sideways at her.  Her shorts were really tight too.  He shifted uncomfortably.  Being just her friend was hard, especially since he wanted to be more.  So much more.  He cleared his throat.  "Uh yeah, I found I like to do body work, and I'm good at it.  Your Dad doesn't have the patience, so he let me."

  He wished she had worn the outfit to seduce him, but no such luck.  Knowing Luna, she had merely thrown on whatever clothes happened to be clean and closest to her reach.  She must be down to only clean underwear.  It sure looked like it could pass for underwear.  Lingerie style underwear.  He groaned silently.  He was in a torment of his own making.

  Luna turned to look at him.  "He just let you?  My Dad?"  She shook her head.  "Unbelievable."

  Tanner turned to face her, and casually put his arm across the seat. "He likes me."  Tanner said simply.  "And I like him too, we have a lot in common actually."  He took it as a good sign that she didn't move away, nor did she smack him, but instead she leaned back against his arm and looked up at him with those beautiful silver eyes of hers.

  "Now that's a scary thought." She murmured.

  Her lips were so close, it was all he could do to hold himself back and not close the gap.  He wanted to kiss her so badly, but she was with someone else.  He had to keep reminding himself of that, and they were just friends.  Just.  Friends.

  She licked her lips nervously and he stifled a groan.  "A sculptor friend of mine is getting married in a week, the day before Trevor's birthday in fact.  I don't want to go alone, but Dev won't be able to make it.  Would you, would you mind going with me?"

  "To a wedding?"

  "I know, I know, not exactly bachelor territory.  But, please Tanner?  I really, really don't want to go by myself..."

  Tanner sighed. "I guess."  Luna squealed, and kissed him on the cheek. 

  "Thank you Tanner!  You're the best."    Tanner sighed again.  He was such a sap.  He never could say no to her.


~<>~


  "Guess who decided to crawl out of his crib and go exploring instead of taking a nap?"

  Colin looked at the who in question.  "Hmm, I wonder."

 

    "The real question is, what is the damage?"

   Ryder smiled ruefully.  "Well, let's see, there's one little boy's outfit, a pair of tennis shoes, some walls that will need to be repainted, carpet that needs to get replaced, some sculpting clay, paints, assorted tools and brushes, oh, and a toilet."

  Colin raised his eyebrows and looked at Trevor.  "Well, weren't you a busy little bee."

  "Bee Ganpa!  I bee!  I make petties, ike Mama!"

  
  Colin chuckled.  "Yes you did, you little rascal.  Just like your Mama used to when she was little."  He pulled out his phone.  "Time to make some phone calls."  He had the repairman on speed dial.  As he waited for the repairman to answer, he asked, "Hey Dad, where did you put his clothes?"

  "The garbage.  There was no getting those things clean.  Trevor did a great job."

  "I bee!"  Trevor clapped his hands happily.  "I bee!"

  "I will remind Luna, once again, not to leave her studio unlocked.  Not that she'll listen."  Colin grumbled.  If his daughter had f*cking listened to him, she wouldn't be with the a*shole to begin with, let alone still with him.  All he needed was one f*cking sign from Luna that she was done with him, and he'd make sure that f*cking d*ckhead never showed his face around here again.

 The repairman finally answered.   "Hello Mr. Kahekili, let me guess, you have a broken toilet that needs to be fixed."

  "You guessed it."


_______________________________________________________________________________

Notes:  Darn, I hardly know what to say in my notes!

  Sorry---somewhat sad/depressing chapter, it is totally not my fault though!  Luna took over, this chapter was NOT supposed to be about her.  She was going to have a small mention---but then as I'm writing---her story started to unfold.  I feel so bad for her. =(  Originally, Devin was just going to be a cheater---but he has turned into so much more.  Ugly more.

  I never expected to write about abusive relationships---or eating disorders!  Bulimia is a very serious condition---you can click on the link to learn more about it.  Not all Bulimics do the binge and purge cycle, but Luna does.

  Well, I tried to end it on a slightly fun/happy note.  Trevor might look just like his dad, but he'll never be anything like him.  He makes pretties---like his Mama. =)

  Tanner doesn't really live in the household.  He was going to, but then Ivory had surprise triplets instead of twins---and I loved Jack.  So, in order for Jack to stay---Tanner wasn't actually able to move in, but for story purposes, he sleeps in a spare bedroom.  

  Thanks for reading---and I will endeavor to make my next chapter happier, lol

Chapter 83: Winter Fairytale

 

 

Warning: Language, and I touch on abusive relationships, there is one scene that was tough to write, so it may be tough to read (second to last scene).

 Hawk hugged her tightly to him.  "Skye, I'm glad you made it."

  Skye burrowed into his warmth.  "I got off work earlier than I thought I would."

 "You sounded strange on the phone, is everything okay Hawk?"

  Hawk smiled.  "Now that you're here, it couldn't be better.  It's a beautiful day, and I found this lovely spot by the Lake's edge that I wanted to share with you."

  "I'm not joining the Polar Bear club."  Skye warned.  "I think my Dad is crazy, swimming in sub zero temperatures.  Him and his what doesn't kill you makes you stronger philosophy."  She rolled her eyes.  Her Dad had some strange ideas.

 
   Hawk laughed.  "No, I'm not that crazy, the water is too cold.  Come on, let me show you something."  He held out his hand, Skye, still a little dubious, took it.

  Instead of leading her to the spot he had been talking about, he surprised her by spinning her around and bending her backwards in one fluid move, which caused her to squeak.  "Hawk!"

  "I love you." He whispered, his mouth hovered only inches away from hers.  "I love you so much."

  Skye melted.  "I love you too, you crazy man!"

  "I want to marry you Skye, and have a house full of children."  He kissed her softly on the lips.  "Please say you'll marry me, you'd make me the happiest of men."

  Skye's eyes shone.  "Oh Hawk!  Yes! Yes!  I would love to be your wife!"

  He kissed her again, and then gently spun her back upwards.  He smiled at her.  "Ah, Kitten, you have made me the happiest guy there ever was."

  Skye smiled back playfully.  "Well, I don't know about ever."  Skye was so happy she thought she might burst from it.  They had dated for so long Skye had begun to think he would never propose. Devin had proposed to her sister a long time ago.  Of course, he had yet to make good on that promise, and it seemed like they were always breaking up every other week. 

  "I do."  He reached into his pocket, and slowly drew out a ring, it sparkled brightly in the light.  He held it out to her.  "For you Kitten, the woman I love the most in this Universe."

  "Oh Hawk, it's beautiful!"  Skye wiped a few tears away.  She held out her hand, and Hawk slid the ring onto her finger.

 

   She wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him ardently.  Hawk groaned, and pulled her in closer, returning her passion.  He let his hands slip down, and Skye squirmed, trying to get closer to his heat.  Hawk broke the kiss off abruptly, his breathing heavy, and he laid his forehead against hers.  He apologized.  "You make me forget myself." 

  Skye's cheeks were flushed despite the cold, and her body trembled.  She was sure she would have fallen if Hawk had let go of her.  "I started it." she confessed sheepishly.

  Hawk kissed her nose.  "I can't wait until we can finish it, but I made a promise to you, not until our wedding night."  He begged her, "Please let it be soon.  Like this week?"  He asked hopefully.

  "This week?  Now I know you are a crazy man!" Skye chuckled.  "To think I could put a wedding together in less than a week.  I need months Hawk!  There's the venue that needs to be rented, a dress to be found,  a wedding cake, flowers and.."

  Hawk whispered in her ear, interrupting her train of thought.  "Let's elope Skye."

 

   Shocked, Skye stared into his eyes, was he serious?  Elope, when all her life she had dreamed of having a big wedding, of having her Dad walk her down the aisle?  He was definitely crazy! "Hawk, I've always wanted..."

  "Skye, your father hates me, if we tried to have a proper wedding, you know he'll stop it, somehow."

  Skye bit her lip.  It was true that her father had not warmed up to Hawk yet, he just might put a stop to any wedding plans, or at the very least, cause a lot of headaches.  But no wedding?  No walking down the aisle?  No flowers, or wedding dress or ?  She pulled out of the shelter of his arms, and shivered in the cold air.  "I don't know Hawk."  She said hesitantly.

  "What's more important Kitten, a big wedding, or us married, spending our lives together, raising children and growing old together?"

   "Well..."

  "I love you Kitten, and I don't want to lose you."

  Skye's eyes widened.  "Hawk!"  She breathed.  "Do you see it?"

  He was confused.  "See what?"

  She grabbed his hand.  "Come on, let's get a closer look!"  She half pulled, half tugged him further into the wooded area.  "Oh, Hawk, isn't he gorgeous?"

 

  Hawk saw a perfectly ordinary white horse that was prancing around in the snow, he didn't know why she was so excited over a silly horse, but he mumbled some affirmative words that seemed to shut her up.  He was so close to getting to her to agree to marrying him right away, and then that stupid horse showed up.

  Skye was enchanted by the Unicorn in front of her.  She always thought they only lived in fairytales, and yet, here he was, in front of her.  He neighed, and she felt driven to get closer to him.  Hawk protested, but she ignored him, her eyes were solely on the magnificent creature in front of her.

 Luna always accused her of living in a fairytale, but if he was real, then maybe, just maybe, fairytales themselves could be real.  She could marry her Prince Charming, Hawk, and live happily ever after.  She approached him softly, and carefully.  He held still, and watched her.

 

   "You are so beautiful."  Skye said, as she tentatively stroked his muzzle.  He whinnied softly, and then gently nuzzled her back.

  Hawk stood back and just observed, the horse seemed skittish whenever he tried to move closer, and he didn't want Skye getting hurt.  He needed a child from her first.  "Careful Skye." he said, "that's a wild horse, it might hurt you."

  Skye turned slightly towards Hawk.  "He won't hurt me."  She turned back to the Unicorn.  "Will you?  No, you are special, and a sign for me, to let me know everything will be okay.  I know what to do now, thank you."

   The Unicorn tossed it's head, causing Skye to back up a little.  Then he nickered, and gently nuzzled up against Skye once again, before catching the wind and disappearing among the trees.  Skye watched him go, she was so focused on the Unicorn that Hawk startled her when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. 

  His voice was low, almost a whisper.  "Sorry." 

  "He was beautiful, wasn't he?"

  "Not as beautiful as you are."

  Skye leaned back against Hawk.  "Let's do it, let's elope."  Hawk smiled, victory at last.  His mother would be pleased.


~<>~



"Dev, I just don't understand why you have to leave tonight.  Couldn't you leave in the morning?   I have to talk to you, it's important."

  Devin rolled his eyes.  "Then talk, I'm right here."

 

  "Dev, I need your full attention!"

  "Baby, I'm not in the mood to listen to you nag about a wedding date again.  We're in the middle of football season, I have a plane to catch so I can meet up with the guys.  I'll call you."

  "But..."

  He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her hard on the mouth, shutting her up.  "I have a big game tomorrow, it could make or break my career.  I need to be focused on that right now.  I'll call you, okay?"  He kissed her again, and slapped her butt.  "Be good Baby."  He jumped into the waiting taxi, and was gone.

  Luna frowned as she walked over to her Dad's house, she didn't want to be alone, and he still lived next door.  She was so preoccupied with her thoughts,  she ran headlong into Tanner, and would have fallen on her butt, except he caught her.  "Whoa, careful Luna!"  Once she was steady on her feet, he quickly released her.  "Hey, are you okay?"

  "Of course I'm okay, don't I look okay?"

  
 "I mean, I'm two months pregnant, but I can't seem to find a good opportunity to let my fiance know that he's going to be a father.  He plays for the Desert Badgers you know, the top team in the league, and he has an all important game tomorrow.  I mean, I couldn't possibly interfere with that right?  I mean, he might mess up, and then it would be my fault because..."

  Tanner let her vent, and just nodded his head at the appropriate times.  He couldn't have found words for her anyway, he needed a few minutes to digest what she said, she was having a baby, with that jerk!  He had listened to her heartbroken cries and let her soak through many of his shirts with her tears over the years, and all over that jerk.  Just when he thought Luna had finally come to her senses about the jerk, she would reconcile with him.  The jerk didn't deserve her.

"Tanner, are you even listening to me?"

 "Huh, what?"  He flushed.  "Of course I was, I just got stuck on the part about you having a baby."  With that jerk, he silently added.

 
 Luna looked down at her shoes, avoiding eye contact.  "D*mn."  She swore softly.  "I didn't mean to let that part slip, I wanted him to be the first to know.  I'm just so frustrated with him right now."

  "Nobody knows?"

  She nodded.  "Well, except you, now you know."

  "Congrats Luna, you're going to make a terrific mom."

  She looked up at him then, and in her eyes he could see the little girl she once was.  "Do you think so Tanner?  I never had a mom, so I don't know..."

  "I know so."  He said firmly.  "You're loving, and patient, and kind, and.."

 Luna laughed.  "You make me sound like a saint."

 Tanner teased her, "Oh, I know you better than that."

  Luna sighed, somewhat sadly.  "Yeah, I'm definitely not a saint, unlike my sister Skye.  She's never had sex yet, can you believe that?  She doesn't even know what she's missing, I love having sex, there's nothing like it in this world."

  Tanner choked.  "Um, no, wow, well..."  He stuttered awkwardly.  Sex was the one topic he tried to stay away from when talking with Luna.  He already had enough thoughts in that direction about her, he didn't need any help.  Besides, if she ever found out he was still a virgin, she would never let him live it down.  Desperate times called for desperate measures, he needed a subject change, and fast.  "So, uh, how are you going to tell your Dad the happy news?"


~<>~


  "I can't believe I just got married by JP.  My Dad is going to freak out."

  "He'll have to come around now Skye, we're married, until death to us part, and that could be a long time."

  Skye sighed.  "I suppose.  It's just, he's so stubborn!"

  "Everything will work out just fine, you'll see."  Hawk assured her.

  Skye smiled up at him, and for just a moment, he was enthralled by her, by the sparkle in her eyes, the pinkness of her cheeks, his wife really was beautiful.  Just as quickly he mentally shrugged it off, he couldn't afford to forget his true purpose for this marriage.  A child.  Not just any child either, but a child that was prophesied about long before he had ever been born.  That was all that mattered.

  He put his arm around her.  "Come on Kitten, I'll take you home, so you can grab some of your stuff and take it back to my place.  We'll face the ferocious lion together."  Hawk had no intention of living anywhere but at the Kahekili house, if he played his cards right, he would be moving in with her, not the other way around.  Skye had to believe otherwise though.

 "I'm just so nervous, I want him to be happy for me."

 "He loves you Skye, and once he gets used to the idea of us being married, he'll come around.  Especially once we have our first child."

  Skye sighed happily.  "I can't wait to have my own children.  Teaching other people's children has been a joy for me, but to be able to snuggle my own child, that would be a dream come true."

  "Come on Kitten, let's get your stuff, and tell your father our good news."

  "Okay.  Before we talk to him though, I need to change out of my workclothes."

  "I'll be more than happy to help you out."  Hawk told her, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

  "I'll just bet you would."  She giggled.
 


~<>~


   Luna was pregnant.  Un-freaking-believable.  Colin scowled.  It wasn't the grandkid he minded, in fact, he rather enjoyed spoiling the ones he already had.  No, it was her choice in the father that put him in a foul mood.  Sh*t, they were stuck with the a*shole forever now.  He should have buried the dumba*s in the backyard a long time ago.

 

  Why couldn't she have picked Tanner?  He actually liked Tanner.

  He sighed heavily.  The things he did for the sake of his daughter and grandchild.  Like restrain himself from committing murder.  He heard Skye call out for him.  "I'm in the living room."  He called back.  He still had hopes for Skye, she was still dating bird boy, but no engagements as of yet.

  Skye bounded into the room.  "There you are Daddy.  I have something to tell you."

  Colin groaned.  "Please don't tell me you're pregnant."

  "Daddy, of course not."

  "Good."  He grunted.  His eyes narrowed though when he saw bird boy come into the room, and sit down in the chair beside him.  He glared at him, but bird boy only smirked back.  Colin gritted his teeth, and reminded himself that he didn't want to be estranged from his daughter.  So no smashing bird boy in the f*cking face, though he really wanted to.  His fingers itched, Colin turned away, trying to get a grip on himself.

 

  "Well, you see Mr. Kahekili, I want you to know that I really love your daughter and..."

  Colin quickly turned back to bird boy.  "No."

  Hawk stared at Colin, confused.  "No what?"

  "No you can't marry my daughter."  Colin said pleasantly.  He even managed to keep his face mostly expressionless.

  Skye groaned.  "Daddy!  I'm not twelve years old anymore!  And I don't need your permission to marry or not marry."

  "Permission, maybe not, but if you f*cking want my blessing, forget it.  Bird brain can not be f*cking trusted."

  "Daddy, I wish you wouldn't call him that.  He's done nothing to deserve the way you treat him!"

  Hawk interrupted,  "It's okay Skye, I married you, not your father."

   "What the f*ck did he say?"

  Skye winced.  "Now Daddy..."

  "We love each other very much Mr. Kahekili, and we want to start a family.  We were tired of waiting,"  Hawk implied the on you but didn't say the words, "so today we were married at the courthouse.  We're only here long enough to let you know we got married, and for Skye to pack up her belongings."

  Colin's hands clenched and unclenched in his lap, and he counted silently in his head, trying to reign in his temper.  He calmly considered his options.  One, strangle f*cking bird boy with his bare hands.  This idea had a lot of merit, Colin would love to get his f*cking hands on him.  Two, beat f*cking bird boy with a bat.  Beat him f*cking senseless.  Definitely a good option.  Three, he could buy a rope, he even knew where the perfect tree was.  Four... 

  He kept counting up all the different ways to f*cking kill bird boy, he hit number fifty, and he was still thinking of better and better ideas.

  Skye twisted her hands anxiously.  "Daddy?  Say something please?"

 

 

   Colin was silent.
 
   "Daddy, I just want you to be happy for me."  Skye said sadly.  "That's all."

  Colin looked at his daughter, sighed heavily, and then made one of the hardest f*cking decisions of his life.  "I have one condition."

  "What's that?"  Skye asked.

  Colin couldn't f*cking believe what he was about to say,  but his daughter came first.  He didn't trust f*cking bird boy, and no amount of time spent with him ever made him think differently.  He was hiding something, Colin f*cking knew it.  Unfortunately, he had yet to  prove it, bird boy was slick, he'd give him that.  It was just a f*cking matter of time before bird brain slipped up, and his daughter would need her daddy then.

   Hopefully Skye would see the wisdom of his offer, unlike Luna, who had rejected it and moved in with the a*s next door instead.  "I think you guys should live here.  The house is plenty big enough, and then I can keep an eye on f*cking bird brain."

 "Daddy, are you serious?"

  "Deadly."

  "Daddy, I don't think..."

  Hawk spoke up.  "Skye, I think it's a good idea."  He had been mostly quiet, waiting for the right moment, and he was pleased that her father had come up with the idea himself.  It worked much better that way.  Once he had his son from Skye, he would make her father pay for every slight he had ever endured from him.

  Skye stared at her husband, stunned.  "Say what?  But Hawk..."

  "He's your father Skye, and he loves you too.  If staying here makes him feel better about our marriage, then I am all for it.  He may even get to know me better, and find that he likes me."  Hawk grinned.

  Colin snorted.  "F*ck no."

  Skye sighed, exasperated.  "Daddy, your language, really!  It's atrocious tonight."

  Colin grunted.  "Are you staying?"

  Skye glanced at her husband, he gave her an encouraging smile.  "I guess so."  She said doubtfully.  She wasn't sure how it would work out, her father and her husband living in the same house.  They both seemed to want the same thing though, so, at least they had common ground there.

  "Great, I'm glad that's all settled.  Both of us love Skye, so I'm sure we can all learn to get along, right Mr. Kahekili? Can I call you Dad?"

  Colin glared at him.  "F*ck no."  Skye rolled her eyes, she had a feeling she might have made a mistake in agreeing to stay living with her father, but only time would tell for sure.


~<>~

  "You're what?!"

 "Pregnant, Dev, I'm pregnant."  Luna had finally been able to pin Devin down long enough to let him know about his impending fatherhood.  "I know we weren't planning on starting a family quite this soon, but..."

  "Sh*t Luna, you were supposed to keep that from happening!  What the h*ll?"  He shouted angrily.

  "I'm sorry Dev, remember when I was so sick, I kept throwing up?  Well, I wasn't able to keep anything down, let along a pill, so..."

  "You're so f*cking careless!  D*mn, you only think about yourself.  What about me?  You know this is the worst possible timing!"

  Luna lowered her head, and stared at the ground.  "I'm sorry Dev."  She repeated, softly.  "I didn't mean for it to happen."

 

 "That's always your f*cking problem Luna, you never f*cking think!"  He grabbed her arm, and shook her hard.  "You're so f*cking stupid sometimes."

 "Dev, please!  You're hurting me!"

  "Why the f*ck do you have to be such a stupid b*tch?  It's your fault for making me so f*cking angry."

  "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry!"  Luna whimpered.  "I don't mean to be."  Devin released her arm, and Luna rubbed it.  It hurt, and she might have slight bruising in the morning that she'd have to keep covered up.  It was her fault for pushing him, she knew better, she really did.  She would just have to try harder, do better, be better.

  "Well, you have to get rid of it, that's all there is to it."

   Luna teared up.  "Dev, no!  Please, I want to keep this baby!  I don't mind waiting on marriage, really I don't.  Just, please, let me keep this baby."

  Devin thought for a moment.

 "I don't know."  He said slowly.  "The timing is all wrong, I have to focus on my career Baby, it's important for our future.  I don't have time to f*cking play Dad."

  "Please Dev?"

  "Where the h*ll will it stay?  Not here."  He said, horrified.  "This house is too f*cking valuable to get f*cked up having baby sh*t and puke all over the carpets."

  "The baby and I can stay with my Dad, until we get married.  He won't mind, really."  Luna had moved in with Devin right after graduation, despite her father's protests. 

  "Well, f*ck Luna, sounds like you've got it all worked out.  Now all you have to do is f*cking persuade me."  He yanked her closer, and Luna bit back a cry.  He kissed her, his mouth rough, and his fingers dug painfully into her back.  "That's right Baby, play the f*cking whore for me."

 

  He pulled the top of her dress down, exposing her breasts.  "F*ck, you're so beautiful."  He squeezed one breast, causing Luna to moan.  "F*ck yeah, you love that don't you, my little wh*re."

  "Oh yes, Devin, oh please!"

  With one hand on her breast, he used the other to pull her panties down.  "You're so f*cking wet."  He used his fingers to fondle her roughly, and Luna moaned again, bucking against him.  He yanked his shorts off, and pushed Luna onto the bed, kneeling on the bed in front of her.  "Come on wh*re, do your job."

 Twenty minutes later, she lay on the bed, with Devin's arms wrapped around her.  He kissed her gently.  "I'm sorry Baby."  These were the moments she lived for, and treasured.  It was when she saw the Devin she had fallen in love with, the soft, kind, caring man.  He was always tense after coming back from a game, she shouldn't have been so stupid and laid the baby news on him like that.  He didn't want to be angry, it was just her stupidity that brought it out of him.  She had just been so excited about their baby though.

  Almost as if he sensed her thoughts, he laid his hand on her stomach.  "So, we're having a kid, huh?"
  She nodded her head.  He brushed her hair back.  "I like the name Trevor.  It's my Dad's name."  He playfully slapped her butt.  "Come on Baby, let's raid the fridge, I'm starving."  Luna smiled contentedly as she followed him to the kitchen, all was well again.


~<>~


  Attempt number seven hundred ninety nine, not that he was counting or anything.  Jack sure hoped it worked this time, but he had his doubts.

 

 
 Ethan had told him it would be difficult, and he sure wasn't kidding.  


______________________________________________________________________

Notes: And Gen 8 is now in charge!  Skye is the heiress, but I rolled Full House, so Luna and Jack are staying, plus the addition of Hawk to the household, and there's my four.  Luna never actually moved out, that was just for story purposes.

  Luna is in a full blown abusive relationship, but she doesn't see it that way.  She loves Devin, and thinks (which of course, being a typical abuser, he reinforces this belief) that whenever he goes off, it's her fault for setting him off.  Luna is also really careful to hide any signs of what is happening, and not show any bruises, so her friends and family don't know what's going on.

  Why does she stay?  That's always a hard one to answer, particularly if you've never been involved in an abusive relationship.  (Thankfully I have not, but I know people who have.)  The abuser doesn't start off abusive, they are usually quite charming, and they slowly whittle away your self confidence and self worth, until you start to believe the lies they tell you.  It's sort of like the frog and the pot story.  Throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, and he will immediately jump out.  Throw him in a pot and slowly heat it up, and he will stay in there and boil to death.  (Besides the fact is that it can be very difficult, and downright dangerous at times, to leave an abusive relationship.)

  People involved in abusive relationships are usually quite good at covering up that fact, and many times close friends and family don't even realize what is going on.  Which is true in Luna's case, Colin doesn't know about the abuse, cause if he did, all h*ll would break loose, lol  He knows something is off, just not what.  That inner alarm of his is on red alert!  He's also distracted with Skye and Hawk, because he knows something is off there as well.  Hawk is very clever though, and so far has managed to keep his secrets.  Also Colin has his job, and his other kids (plus grandkids) that keeps him busy as well.

  One last note on all that---back in highschool, my best friend's parents seriously talked that way.  I remember how appalled I was that her dad called her mom his personal little wh*re, and she giggled and acted like it was a good thing, and then they proceeded to be a little more demonstrative than I ever wanted to see.  O.o

  Aaand apparently I can't make up my mind on whether to spell Dev's name as Devin or Devon.  I've written it both ways now, in previous chapters, lol  So, I guess either works! Doh!  Also, for you with the eagle eyes and elephant memory (I tend to be oblivious to things like this unless they are pointed out, lol XD), Hawk's eyebrows kept changing to those, and it is quite annoying!  I would take him into CAS to fix them, start taking pics, only to realize way too late that the game had changed them back.  I'm too lazy to redo all those pics though, over some eyebrows, so, if you notice that his eyebrows look different in some pics (even in future chapters)  you'll know the reason why!  Haha!

  As far as rolls go, Skye is in the education career.  Good thing she doesn't need money, because they don't make very much, haha!  Hawk is in the alchemist career, Luna is a sculptor, and Jack originally rolled science for his career.  I had just bought ITF though, so I changed his to making plumbots because I wanted to play around with that.  Plumbots are more trouble than they are worth, lol

  The Unicorn totally photobombed my Skyehawk engagement pics.  I ended up taking so many pics with it, it's not even funny.  But it was so pretty, and unexpected, I had to write it in.  After all, Princess Skye believes in fairytales, and besides that Unicorns always appeared to the pure of heart and to the virgin maidens, to everyone else they would appear as a regular ole horse, lol

  Questions?  Comments?  I love reading comments, even if it takes me a while to respond back.  I'm always trying to find a way to answer without giving too much away, and sometimes that takes me a while, lol

  Thanks for reading! =)

Chapter 82: Memories

Warning: Language

  "I am so f*cked."  It was the first words Colin had uttered since collapsing onto the floor.  The memories and emotions flew through his mind like a broken water main.  He wished the f*ck he knew how to shut it off.  His head felt like it was f*cking spitting in two. 

  Forgetfulness was bliss, this, this was sheer f*cking agony.

  

  He wanted to f*cking howl, or beat the sh*t out of something, but he didn't.  It would f*cking freak out his girls, who were already a f*cking mess of tears and sh*t.  How the f*ck did people deal with this sh*t?  His mother's words f*cking haunted him.  Black picket fences.  Ivory's last f*cking words to him, words that hadn't meant a f*cking thing to him then, but now...

  Now they f*cking hurt like h*ll.  "F*ck.  F*ck.  F*ck.  F*ck."  He repeated the word endlessly.  "F*ck.  F*ck. F*ck.  F*ck."

  His Dad's voice interrupted his mantra.  "Colin, maybe we should take you to the emergency room?"

  Colin rolled his head over to look at his father.  "F*ck that.  I f*cking hate f*cking hospitals!"  His voice rose.  "Sh*t Dad, I f*cking thought I was the f*cked up one that f*cking lost his memory.  What the h*ll?!  F*cking forget the f*cking hospital.  Mom..."  Colin stopped.  F*ck.  His mother was f*cking dead, and he was being a f*cking as*hole.  Again.  "Sh*t."

  "Colin, I'm just..."  His Dad's voice trailed off, like he was unsure of what to say.  Dimly in the background he could hear Skye sobbing, crying harder because he said a few f*cking curse words. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her, she was always trying to clean up his language.  Because she loved him.  F*ck.

  He stared back up at the ceiling.  He was f*cked up, his emotions a hurricane within him, and he was f*cking pissed.  Pissed at himself, at his family, at the f*cked up situation he was in.  F*ck.  He was pissed at Life in general.  And he was being a f*cking as*hole to his father, who didn't f*cking deserve it.  He took a deep breath.  Sh*t.  What was he?  A f*cking pansy a*s that couldn't deal with some f*cking memories?  F*ck.  Maybe he was.  No.  F*ck that.  He wasn't a f*cking pansy a*s.  He had to get his sh*t together.

  "Sorry Dad, I'm not f*cking feeling like my..."  He paused.  F*ck.  Which f*cking self was he?  He felt the urge to f*cking laugh his head off, but he reined that impulse in.  His father was already f*cking looking at him with a f*cking mixture of fear, concern, and sorrow. He liked to f*cking think it was sorrow anyway, because f*cking pity would f*cking p*ss him off more.

 

    His Dad seemed startled, which again, made Colin want to f*cking laugh.  None of it was f*cking funny, but at the same time, it was f*cking hysterical.  F*ck.  He needed to punch some...he noticed the two boys standing by the couch.  "What the f*ck are they doing here?"

  "Daddy!  Skye wiped some of her tears away.  "Your language!  Don't you remember, Luna and I are going on a double date tonight?  To the movies?  We're going to see Invaded by Slugs."

  Colin choked out a laugh.  Didn't he f*cking remember?  F*ck.  He f*cking remembered entirely the f*ck too much.  He also f*cking remembered he f*cking disliked the pair of stupid a*s boyfriends his daughters had f*cking picked out. There was that d*ckhead Winters, and f*cking bird boy, who was too f*cking smooth.  Colin could spot a f*cking bullsh*tter a million miles away.  He didn't f*cking know what bird boy was up to, and he f*cking trusted him as far as he could f*cking throw him.  No.  He f*cking trusted him less that that.

  Luna asked, "Daddy, are you okay?" 

 

 
  He sighed.  He had f*cking flushed his whole f*cking theory of child raising down the sh*tter.  Single handedly.  He had actually f*cking parented them, and even done a f*cking decent job of it.  Ivory would have been f*cking pleased.  Just the thought of her, caused another stab of grief.

 Well, h*ll.  He groaned miserably.  His f*cking desire to comfort his daughters was f*cking overwhelming everything else.  What the f*ck had happened to him?  He eyed the two boys again, and sighed irritably once more.  "I'm okay."  He reassured his girls.  "Really."

  "That was terrifying Daddy!  Seeing you pass out like that!  What happened?"  Skylar's voice was still tearful and shaky.

  "Thanks Skye, for rubbing it in."  He joked, trying to put her at ease.  "Just a little bit of a headache, that's all.  It's fading now.  When's your movie start?"

  "In 15 minutes."  Luna answered, both girls were still wiping their tears away.  Colin was finding it f*cking hard to look at Luna, she was the f*cking image of her mother.  He forced himself to smile reassuringly at her though.  F*ck.  It wasn't her fault.

  "Well, then, where's Jack?  You guys better get going."

  "Jack's at a technology seminar."  Luna reminded her dad.

  "I'm going with them."  Alder said quietly.

  Colin chuckled.  "Well, ff..fiddle sticks.  That's even better."  The wave of intense, life stealing anguish was fading slightly, giving Colin some room to breath.  The grief was still there, raw and burning.  He couldn't f*cking make things right with his mother, or with Ivory.  They were both gone.  Forever seemed like a f*cking hollow and painful word.  His mother would never really f*cking know that he had...had loved her.  He had been a sh*tty son.

  And Ivory?  She had f*cking died believing that he hadn't f*cking cared.  Black picket fences...  He could f*cking hear her laughter in his mind.  He just f*cking bet she was laughing her f*cking a*s off at him.  Stuck him with f*cking triplets!  The b*tch.  Sh*t he missed her.  He almost didn't hear Skye's comment, he was so lost in his thoughts, but he caught the tail end of it.  "Hhhh..heck no.  I'm fine, you girls go out and enjoy your movie."

   It took a lot of prodding, but he finally convinced his girls to go watch the movie.  He f*cking needed some time to process.  Once they were gone, he turned to his father.  "I remember everything Dad."

 His dad didn't look at him.  "Everything?"

  "Everything.  I need some time to think."

  Ryder nodded.  He hesitated, then said softly, "If you need to talk, well, I'm here."

  Colin sat up, and cursed his head, and his body, and his f*cking memory for good measure.  He felt as f*cking weak as a kitten.  Pansy a*s kitten.  Sh*t.  And for some reason, it was a lot f*cking harder to not curse, though he would try his f*cking best, he didn't want Skylar getting on his f*cking case about it.   "I appreciate the f*cking offer Dad, I'll keep it in mind."


~<>~


 Colin looked around the room, at his family that were all gathered together by his request.  Sh*t.  Talk about being on the f*cking hotseat.  He preferred this though.  He knew they all had questions; concerns, and he didn't want to keep answering the same f*cking ones over and over and over.  Much better to just get it all done with at once.  Last week had been sh*tty, there was no f*cking doubt on that.  He hadn't know what the f*ck to say, or think, or do.  His f*cking heart hurt, and he hadn't even known he f*cking possessed one, especially when it came to his kids.  He had f*cking hated them, or so he had thought.

 

 
  Except Ivory had known.  He f*cking missed her so much.  She had a way of f*cking knocking sense into his brain.  He had spent the past week in a sh*tty a*s mood, sequestered in his room, trying to f*cking wrap his head around things.  Then one morning he had woken up, and it was like he could f*cking hear her.  Hear her telling him he was being a f*cking dumba*s.  And he knew what he had to do.

  He had always wondered at the f*cking shadows in his older kids' eyes.  Wondered how he could f*cking erase them.  But the Colin who couldn't remember what he had f*cking done to them, that Colin couldn't erase it.  Couldn't make things totally right.  He could though, or f*cking die trying.  Today was step one.

  "I remember."  He stated it matter of factly, and then watched the different reactions.  He was sad to say that it was fear mostly, except for Jada, who looked ready for anything, and the triplets, who had never known the other him.  "Everything.  I remember everything, in case that wasn't clear.  I know you all have questions, so, ask away.  I promise to answer, and answer truthfully, but," he warned them, "you may not like my answers."  Sh*t.  He didn't f*cking like most of his answers.

  "Why?"  The question came from Elliot, his son, but not his son.

 

  Colin briefly closed his eyes.  Sh*t.  Tough question, right out of the gate.  Elliot was standing beside his father Brae, who wasn't saying a word, but was just watching.  Colin knew he had wounded Brae with his actions, knew that Brae had forgiven him, but that had been the Colin that didn't remember.  Would his brother be able to forgive him now that he had his memories back?

  "Did you love my mother?  Hate my...my father?  Did you...did you hate me?"

  Colin rubbed the back of his neck.  Sh*t.  "Elliot, Brae, neither one of you may like my answers.  The truth is, I felt absolutely nothing for your mother Elliot.  She was just a quick f*ck."  Colin winced.  That came out a little harsher than he had intended.  Subtlety was definitely not in his nature.  "I was f*cking jealous of Brae, I thought he had it all.  That he was perfect.  And it made me feel better, at least at first, to know that I had f*cked up his perfect life.  I was a d*ck, to put it bluntly."

  Brae had crossed his arms.  "Yes, you were."

 

 "I never hated you Elliot, nor did I hate my brother, I was just a sh*thead."  That was the honest truth, how the h*ll else could he have treated his family so poorly otherwise?  He knew the anger he had kept for so many years.  Anger at his parents for not paying more attention to him.  Anger at his brother for being so f*cking perfect.  It all boiled down to him being a spoiled a*shole.

  "Then why didn't you claim me?  You claimed the others!"

  Colin laughed harshly.  "Did I?  No, I didn't claim them, the family claimed them for me.  I was an a*shole, only interested in myself, and what I wanted.  You made out much better than Jake, or Nick, or even Jada.  You have Brae for a father, and he f*cking kicked a*s as a father.  He did everything for you.  Went to your stupid a*s ballgames, helped you with your homework, taught you how to f*cking drive.  And what the f*ck was I doing at that time?  F*cking every female I could find."

  "Daddy!"  Skylar blushed beet red.  "Your language!  And..and..the things you say!"

  Colin sighed.  "Sad to say, I was only speaking the truth Skye."   He looked directly at Elliot.  "I'm not your father Elliot.  Brae is.  He raised you, loved you, and took care of you.  I'm just the a*shole that f*cked your mother.  Sh*t."  Colin groaned.  It was so f*cking hard to control his wayward tongue! 

 

  Skylar gasped.  "Daddy!"

  Brae was shaking his head.  "Only you Col.  Was that your excuse then?"

  "No.  I have no excuse for what I did.  It was fff...very wrong.  I would take it all back, if I could."

  "I wouldn't."

  Brae's remark caught Colin by surprise.  "You wouldn't?"

  "No, because I got Elliot out of the deal, and he's a d*mn good kid Col.  I would do it all over again, just so I could have my boys.  Oh, I was mad as h*ll at you for years, but like I told you, I've forgiven you.  I can't speak for Elliot though."

  Colin didn't even know he needed to hear those words, until he heard them.  "You kick a*s as a brother Brae."

  Brae grinned slightly at him.  "I kick your a*s as a brother Colin, and don't you forget it!"

  Colin smirked.  "Sh*t.  You have me there!"

  The brothers grinned at each other.   Colin sobered up quickly though, when Elliot spoke.  "I forgive you too Uncle Colin."  Elliot smiled at Brae.  "I do have a pretty kick a*s father."

  Colin would have responded further to Elliot, but Nick broke in with, "I'm sorry Dad.  I'm so sorry!"  Colin stared at his son, confused.  What did Nick have to be sorry about?  He asked as much.  "It's my fault.  All my fault."

  "What the h*ll are you talking about Nick?"  Maybe the boy was jetlagged.  They had flown in from France, just to be a part of this meeting.

  "I should have called the Police right away.  I mean, you told me to, after I was done with my game, but I accidentally fell asleep for a while.  I called them as soon as I woke up, but, it was too late!  It's my fault that you were hurt, and lost your memory, if I had just called when I was supposed to..."

  Colin stared at his son in horror.  "F*ck Nick, you've held that in all these years?  Sh*t.  It wasn't your fault Nick, the blame is totally f*cking mine.  Who the h*ll asks a child to call the police after they're done playing a video game...in the middle of the night?  F*ck that, it wasn't your fault, none of it."

  "So, you're not angry at me?"

  "H*ll no, I wish you would have said something sooner."

  "What good would it have done?"  Nick asked.  "You didn't remember."

  Colin sighed heavily.  "I'm sorry Nick, you shouldn't have had to live with that burden."

  "Are you going to go back to how you were?"  Jake asked nervously.  Colin swung his attention to his oldest son, and the one who had taken the f*cking brunt of emotional abuse from his former self.  F*ck.

 

   "To what I was?"  Jake nodded.  "No."  Colin said simply.  He watched as Jake let out a sigh of relief.  "Jake, I was a sh*tty father to you, I'm sorry, I f*cking..."

  "It's okay Dad."  Jake smiled.  "You were a jerk the first half of my life, but afterwards, you were pretty great.  So, now I know what to do and what not to do with my own kids."

  "You're own kids?"  Colin echoed.  He narrowed his eyes at Jake.  "Spill."

  Jake broke out in a full fledged grin.  "I'm going to have a baby, well, Sherri is actually, but I'm going to be a dad!  I'm just so excited!  You know what this means Dad?" 

  "A baby?!"

  "You're going to be a grandpa!"  Colin stared at his son, stunned.  F*ck.  A grandpa?  Him?  What the h*ll?!

  Jada chuckled.  "What did you expect would happen Dad?  You have all these kids!"  She waved her arms around.

  "A grandpa?"  Colin was having a hard time wrapping his head around it.  He was too young to be a grandpa!  "Well, that's, wow."  He cleared his throat.  Brae started laughing, and Colin glared at him.  "You'll be a terrific father Jake, I'm sure of it."

  "Thanks Dad.  Sherri and I are getting married in a few days, down at the courthouse.  You're welcome to come to it."

  "I wouldn't miss it."  Colin assured his son.

  Jada leaned over.  "What, no big wedding?"

 

  
  Jake turned to his sister.  "Nah, neither one of us wants a big wedding.  You could all come, though.  I would love to have my family there."

  Sh*t.  He was a lucky b*stard.  He didn't f*cking deserve his family, but he sure was f*cking glad to have them.  Then Luna piped up.  "What about our mother Daddy?  What was she like?"

  Skylar chimed in.  "Yeah, did your eyes meet across the room, and did you guys fall instantly in love?"

  "All we've been told is that she tried to kill Uncle Brae.  Everyone else knows all about their mothers, but we don't.  Was she pretty?"

  Jack groaned.  "That's a stupid question Luna, who cares if she was pretty?  She was crazy!  That's the important part, she tried to kill Uncle Brae!"

 

  The room erupted in chaos.  "Shut up Jack, you don't know anything!"  Luna yelled.

  "What?  It's the truth!"  Jack hollered back.

  "How do you know?"  Skylar shot back.  "She could have been framed, or something.  She could have a really good reason!"

  "I know cause Uncle Brae said so, and he was there!"

  "Well, Uncle Brae was drugged up, and he doesn't remember things clearly.  That's what he said when I asked him about her!  And..." 

  Colin interrupted.  "Enough!" he roared.  They all shut up and stared at him, wide eyed.  Colin grimaced, here was yet another topic he f*cking wasn't too keen on.  He glanced at his father and his grandfather, and noticed irritably that they looked quite entertained, like they were watching a f*cking three ring circus.  Sh*t, at least they still kept their f*cking peace, even if they couldn't hide their interested grins. 

 

   "Your mother," he started, then paused.  Sh*t.  He was already getting f*cking choked up.  How could he put her into words?  They seemed so pale and lifeless compared to her.  He saw that Brae had tensed up, and was watching him intently.  No f*cking wonder, Ivory had kidnapped him.  "Your mother was beautiful, she looked a lot like you Luna."

  "Really?"  Luna breathed.  She looked like her mother!

 "Daddy, how did you two meet?"  Skylar asked. Suddenly Colin found himself the target of rapid fire questions from Luna and Skylar both.  Jack threw in an occasional question too, despite his earlier words of not being interested.

  He laughed.  "Sh*t, I mean, shoot, slow down guys, and give me a chance to speak.  I could tell you guys about her later, I'm not sure everyone wants to hear this."

  "No, no, speak on bro.  We're all ears."  Brae said.  "It changed all of our lives too."

    Colin frowned slightly.  F*ck.  He supposed his brother had a point.  "In a bar."  He nodded his head in confirmation of his words.  "I met her in a bar that I had just bought, and I thought she was the f*cking hottest chick I had ever seen, and I wanted to..." he coughed slightly, "well, that's neither here nor there."  He smiled to himself.  Ivory would have hit him for calling her a chick.  "Anyway, she of course was instantly smitten with me, she just didn't know it yet."

  "Seriously?"  It was Jake, who was also listening closely.

  "Of course, there isn't a female alive who could resist me, and she was no exception."

  His kids all groaned, and Colin laughed, delighted.

  "Daddy!  Seriously!"  Luna said exasperated.

  "Okay, just the truth, the short version, some of it, you won't like."  he warned again.  He had put it off for as long as he could, hoping he could f*cking put them off forever, but they weren't falling for his delay tactics.  D*mn.  "We did meet in a bar, that I had just bought.  She had forced my bar manager to let her in.  I walked in, and...d*mn."  Colin was silent for a moment, lost in his memory of the first time he had seen her...


 

  "She was leaning against the counter, and I owned several strip bars, so I told her she was hired."

  "Daddy!"  Skylar was aghast.  "You hired her as a stripper?"  Funny, in all of her imaginings, she had never imagined her mother as a stripper too!

  Colin snorted.  "F---no.  She spun around, quick as lightning, fire in her eyes, then her eyes met mine, and I..."  He held his hands out, "...I was...I was...captivated.  So was she, or she would have fff-freaking gutted me, I'm sure.  She was an assassin, that I found out later, much later.  All I knew then, was this woman could fff-freaking kill me in an instant, yet I was drawn to her anyway.  Maybe because of the danger, I didn't give a ffff-fudge about much then.  I was self destructing in a f*cking glorious way."

  "So, she really was an assassin."  Jack said.

  Colin nodded.  "We weren't innocents, kids, at all.  No storybook prince and princess romance, that wasn't us.  I was a f*cked up a*shole, and Ivory was a bad a*s b*tch who f*cking killed for a living.  Why the f*ck did I care who she killed?  H*ll, it was nothing to me.  It wasn't like I was her target, or my family.  So what the f*ck?  I didn't know my brother was her target until that day I found him, sh*t, I wish I had known though, things could have f*cking ended differently." 

 

  The room was so quiet, Colin could hear the ticking of the clock, he had his family's full attention.  Sh*t.  "I wanted to marry her."

  Ryder choked.  "Did you say you wanted to get married?  But after your first marriage..."  Ryder's voice trailed off.  Colin's first marriage had ended nearly as quick as it had started.

  "I can't explain it Dad, I barely understand it myself.  We were just freaking good together.  She's the one that told me I was a dumba*s for treating you guys, especially my kids, the way I did.  She treasured family, said it was a gift, and she f*cking pushed me to do better.  P*ssed me off too, but she didn't f*cking care.  She got me, in a way that f*cking terrified me, but I couldn't f*cking walk away.  I understood her too, like we were..."

  "Soul mates."  Skylar breathed.

 Colin's lips twisted.  "Maybe.  All I know, is that I was better with her, than without her. I knew something was f*cked up, those last few weeks we were together.  She was more secretive, evasive, and so f*cking...sad.  So I tailed her.  She wouldn't f*cking talk to me, so I did what I had to.  I found Brae, and my focus shifted.  I had to get him the f*ck out of there, then he told me about Elliot, but before I could do anything, she was there."

  Jack sat up straighter.  "What happened then?"

  "We fought, she told me I was going to be a f*cking father again, she nailed my balls, sh*t that hurt like a mother..."  He winced at the memory of it.  "I asked her to marry me, she said she wasn't the white picket fence type.  I told her I would f*cking build a black picket fence for her, instead of white, she was going to say yes..."

  "Ahh, black picket fence."  Ryder said.  He had always wondered what that message had meant.

 

  Colin nodded.  "I had this idea that we could f*cking get married, raise the f*cking kid together.  D*mn, I was so f*cking sure that I could talk Brae into dropping any charges against her.  It wasn't Ivory anyway, it was her f*cking b*tch of a mother, who was f*cking obsessing over some stupid a*s..."

  "Book."  Brae finished for him.  "I remember that part very well.  Her mother was the red headed she devil?"

  "Yes."  Colin confirmed.  "Ivory was terrified of her.  I only know a little about her past, her growing up years, she didn't like to talk about it.  She had scars all over her body, put there by her mother.  Her mother, sometimes Ivory called the b*tch her sister, was a sadistic b*tch.  I promised to protect her, and f*ck, I failed."  The grief tore through him again, but he pushed it back, determined to finish the story so that he would never have to repeat it again.  It was just too painful.

  "The b*tch showed up, but Ivory and I managed to f*cking kill her.  Then, the cops came, Ivory thought I was f*cking setting her up, and...the rest as they say is history."  Nick moaned, as if in pain.  Colin looked at him.  "Not your fault Nick.  I was the dumba*s, and I reaped the consequences of it.  Consequences that have made me stronger, better."  Colin tasted the bitterness of that truth. 

  "That's right Nick."  Jada said.  "We should all be thanking you.  If he hadn't hit his head, we would have been stuck with the jerk.  Instead, we got a half way decent father out of it."

 

  Colin smiled wryly.  "There is that."

  "So, her family wasn't very nice?"  Luna asked in a small voice.

  Luna's tone of voice clued him in, that something was not quite right.  "What did you do Luna?"  Colin's asked sternly.

  Luna bit her lip nervously.  "Nothing Daddy.  I was just..."

  "Luna."

  Her shoulders slumped.  "We just wanted to know more about her, and since you couldn't remember her, it seemed like a good idea to..."

  "Sh*t.  We?"

  The girls glanced at each other.

   "Skye and I, we just wanted to know more about her."

  "F*ck."

  "Daddy, you keep cursing!"  Skye complained.

  Colin ignored Skye's complaint.  "Tell me what the f*ck the two of you have done, and don't leave anything out."  So Luna told him.  "Sh*t.  That was f*cking dangerous!  What if she had been alive?  You two would have brought the b*tch from h*ll down on our heads!"

  "But she has to be alive Daddy!"  Skye said.  "She picked up the body, according to the report we read."

 
  "Picked up the...sh*t."  Colin was horrified with all the implications of what Skye had said.

  "I'm sorry!  I didn't know it was dangerous!" Luna cried.

  "No more searching, okay?"  All of you, including Jack."

  "Hey, I wasn't a part of it at all!" Jack protested.

  "I'm not leaving any loopholes for Luna.  Now, promise."  They all promised, and Colin was relieved that at least that part was taken care of.  What the h*ll to do with the rest of it?  Even now, the b*tch could be just waiting for the perfect moment to attack.  "We'll be talking about this later."  He promised them.  "Every action has a consequence, whether..."

  "Positive or negative."  Luna and Skylar said together.  "We know."

  "Oh, you'll know all right."  He muttered.  He needed to consult with his Dad and Grandpa.  They might need some help from their Camulodunum cousins.  First he had to get through the rest of this family meeting.  He didn't fool himself into believing that everything would be f*cking okay now, but he knew he had least made inroads.  His family knew that he wasn't going to go back to the a*shole he had been when he was younger, he had changed for good.


~<>~


   "So what did your Dad finally decide to do?"

 

 
   Skye had been telling Hawk all about their family meeting, and how she and Luna had finally come clean about their search for their mother.  Neither one of them had known how dangerous it had been, but they knew now.   "We're grounded until we're hundred, that's what he says."  Skye grimaced.  "I think he's joking about the amount of time.  At least, I hope so!"  She added.  "That's why you'll have to visit me here for a while."

  Hawk smiled.  "That's not a hardship Skye.  I just enjoy being with you."

  Skye smiled back.  "I love being with you too!"

  "I hope you don't move."

  Moving had been one of the options tossed around as a solution to the Raven problem.  "Daddy is going to have some cousins of ours check things out, make sure that our online activities weren't found by her.  If it's all clear, we'll stay.  At least for a little while, Daddy says he's looking for a job and house in a less depressing town.  I don't want to lose you Hawk, if that happens, if we have to move."

  "Skye, I would follow you anywhere."  Hawk answered.  He wasn't worried about any investigation the family might do, he and his mother had covered their tracks well.  He looked like his father, not his mother, so he wasn't even worried about being recognized.  He fully expected them to find nothing amiss.

 

  "Really?"

  "Really." He assured her.


~<>~


  Jack crowed in triumph.  He had finally gotten it to work!  Ethan had given him the schematics for it, telling him they would need a far more powerful computer than what Jack had.

 

  Powerful computer.  Those two words were music to Jack's ears.  And he had done it.  Built a superior computer!   He wished he could patent it, and sell it, but Ethan had cautioned him against it.  They didn't want to cause too many ripples in the time continuum, that would cause untold disasters.

  So, sadly, he had to keep the knowledge to himself, but in the meantime...he had a SuperComputer!  He did a happy Jack dance.  Woot!  Woot! 

 This computer was more capable of processing, rendering, and building the intricate data and equations that Jack would need if he was going to save his family.  He'd had no real idea of the amount of work involved when he had agreed to help.  It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, he would have done it irregardless. 

  It was just taking longer than he had expected, the concepts and figures that Ethan threw out at him were mindboggling at times, and Jack had to actually work a little bit at understanding them.  Throw time paradoxes into the deal, and his mind was blown, on a regular basis.

 

  He tapped on the projected computer screen.  It was time to get back to work.  He was thinking of building himself a helper, one that wouldn't question, and would also be completely loyal.  One that wouldn't need to eat, or sleep, like Jack did...
 



________________________________________________________________________________________

Notes:  Whew!  Got through that one!  I hope all of that made sense. XD  So the "new" Colin is sticking around---losing his memory gave him a new perspective, lol  It was the only way I could think of to get through to such a hard headed, stubborn sim, haha

  They'll still have some issues, nothing is ever really resolved quickly, and Colin is aware of that, but they're on their way.  Brae had forgiven his brother, and moved on, a long time ago.  I figure the triplets are about 16.5 yrs old in this chapter, so a LOT of time has gone by.  Time that Colin spent being a decent human being.

  Colin doesn't like Devon or Hawk, and always rolls wishes to beat them up, lol  He senses something is wrong, he just doesn't know exactly what is wrong. =)

  His cursing is off/on, depending on his awareness of it.  When he's aware of it, he tries to curb himself, to make his daughter happy.  Yeah, Skye is a bit prissy, lol

  And---poor Nick.  He really did think it was his fault, and that everyone would hate him for it.

  Jake has 2 kids now with Sherri Nightblossom, they're pretty cute too.  I know Sherri is part of the Nightblossom tree, but I forget what branch, lol  That family expanded pretty quickly! =)

  Jack is such a cutie, I love all the faces he makes.  He still doesn't have a girlfriend, nor is he remotely interested.  


  The game has been quite obliging regarding Colin's fighter roll.  It sends burglars, lol

 

  Also---I used a ton of poses in this chapter, I took these pics a really long time ago, so I don't remember all of whose poses I used---but I'm pretty sure the crying ones (Skye and Luna) are Sunny's.  Thanks for making/sharing them Sunny! =)

  One last note, one thing I absolutely love about writing, is how knowing a character's motive can change our perspective.  For instance, if Hawk had been legit, that would have been a sweet conversation between him and Skye.  Since he has ulterior motives though, it could be seen as creepy/stalker like, haha  I'll follow you anywhere muahahahaha!

 

  Any questions?  I'll try to answer them.  Hopefully next chapter Gen 8 will take over, if not, then definitely the chapter after that.   Thanks for reading! =D