Chapter 69: What the ???

  Warning: This chapter has lots of bad language and lots of bad behavior.  Read at your own risk!

  After Colin's early morning run...

 

  ...he found great joy in waking up his roommates, especially Blake.  He snickered to himself.  Blake was a pretty sound sleeper, but even she was no match for the Mega Mega Megaphone.

 

  "It's time to get the f*ck up, you lazy a*s!"  Colin yelled into his megaphone.

  Blake screamed and thrashed about on her bed, it took her a moment to get herself untangled enough that she could climb out of the bed .

 

  Colin laughed, and slapped at his thigh.  "You are so f*cking funny when you first wake up Blake."

  "You're a jerk."  She refused to look at him, which made Colin laugh harder.

 

  When he got a good look at her profile though, he stopped laughing abruptly.  "Hey, what the f*ck?"  Colin stared at her protruding belly.

  
  "Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm having your baby?" she asked sweetly.

  "The hell you are!" he retorted.

  "The hell I am!" she spit back at him.

 

    "No f*cking way.  If it is mine, you'd better get rid of it, and quickly!"

  Blake scowled at him.  "Get rid of it?  And risk my life?  Are you out of your mind?  Besides that, it's too late for an abortion, you're going to be a daddy, so you'd best get yourself resigned to that idea.  I didn't hear you demanding Natalie get rid of her baby either.  You even married her, you jerk!"

  Colin glared at her.  "I don't want that one either!"

  "Ask me if I care?  Oh thank you for asking.  No, I don't care.  You're going to take this kid, or I'm going to scream rape."

  Colin stared in disbelief at her.  "No one will f*cking believe you."

     "Oh yeah big boy?  I can be a pretty damn convincing actress when I need to be, and for a hundred million dollar inheritance, I need to be.  So just try me."  Blake batted her eyelashes at him.

  "You f*cking b*tch!" he snarled.

  Blake shrugged.  "Go ahead and hate me, I don't care."

  "What the hell am I going to do with another kid?"

  "Don't know.  Don't care.  You can offload it on your wife for all I care."

 

 
  Colin thought about that for a moment.  "Hmm, that idea has some merit.  Natalie!"  He bellowed.


~<>~

  "This bonfire needs more wood."  Colin grabbed a bunch of logs and carried them to the firepit.  It was the last great hurrah party of University, he only had to live through one more week, and then he got to go back home.

   He threw the logs into the fire, and watched as the flames eagerly consumed them.  "Now that's more like it."  Colin said with a smile.

  "You are such a pyromaniac." Jake teased him.

 

  "So I like to play with fire."  Colin grinned, "So what of it?"

  "I'll say!" Jake rolled his eyes.  "Two women pregnant at once?  In the same house?  And you told your wife she was going to care for your bastard kid?  On top of that, you haven't told your family that you're married, let alone going to have two more kids, plus you invited some freshman girls to this party.  If that isn't playing with fire, I don't know what is!"

  Colin snorted.  "You're just jealous."

  "Dude, you're like a train wreck just waiting to derail.  Nah, I'm glad we're going home next week, I miss my girl.  I'm going to get married, have a few kids, a white picket fence, the big back yard, two dogs, the whole nine yards.  You should think about making a solid commitment to Natalie, she's a nice girl."  Jake smiled at Colin.

 

 
  Colin stared at him, a slight smile on his lips.  "Are you f*cking nuts?  Aliens must have taken over your f*cking brain."

  Jake shook his head.  "I'm serious Colin.  Natalie really seems to love you, you should try making it work, or else you could end up miserable and alone."

  "Natalie only loves what she thinks I could be to her, she doesn't really give a f*ck about me."  Colin shrugged.  "I don't know why I married the b*tch anyway, aliens must have overtaken my f*cking brain."

 

 
    "Maybe because you wanted a chance to be happy?"  Jake suggested.

  Colin laughed so hard he had tears running down his cheeks.  "F*ck no."  Colin cracked up again.  "That." He laughed some more, then tried to get a hold of himself.  "That was the funniest f*cking thing I've ever heard.  You should have been a f*cking comedian!" 

  Jake rolled his eyes.  "What the f*ck ever.  I was trying to help you out as*hole."

  "Well, in that case, I have an idea, where you could actually do that."

   "The keg stand isn't exactly what I had in mind."  Jake said dryly, as he lifted Colin up.  Colin, a mouth full of juice, mumbled back a reply.

  "Are you two girlfriends done talking about your feelings yet?"  Rom called out.  "Cause we have company!"

 

 
   Jake set Colin back down on the ground.  "F*ck you Rom."  Colin yelled back.

  "Colin," Jake laid a hand on his shoulder. "If you screw around with these girls, you'll be cheating."

  Colin sighed.  "What, are you my f*cking conscience today Jake?  It's not cheating."

  "How do you figure that?"

  "Cheating is when you go behind their back.  I have an open marriage on my side, closed on hers, she already knows I'm going to f*ck other women, therefore it's not cheating."

  "You're logic astounds me.  And Natalie is okay with this one sided relationship?"

  "I don't give a f*ck if she is or not.  If she isn't, she can leave."

  Jake stared at him.  "Colin..."

  Colin interrupted him.  "Enough bullsh*t Jake, keep it up, and I may have to f*cking hit you."  Jake put both hands up in a gesture of surrender.

  Natalie screamed.  The pains were getting worse, she kept hoping that they would go away, she wasn't ready for this baby to be born yet.  She kept calling Colin's phone, and texting him, but he wasn't answering her.  Another strong contraction gripped her belly, she screamed again.

 
  Rom waved.  "Hey Tiffany, come on over!"

  "Thanks for inviting me.  Is that him?" She stared at Colin, who was talking on the phone and frowning.

  "What the f*ck do I care?  Drive yourself to the f*cking hospital, I'm busy."  Colin paused, listened for a moment, then scowled.  "None of your f*cking business what I'm doing.  But if it makes you feel better knowing, I'm a party where I intend to f*ck several women.  Women who aren't f*cking fat boat anchors tied around my neck."  He grimaced.  "Oh f*ck, don't even start with the f*cking blubbering."  Colin said, disgusted.  "You knew the score when you married me, so live with it."  He pasted a big smile on his face when a girl he didn't recognize started to walk towards him.  "I have to go."  Colin hung up abruptly.  Stupid b*tch.  She should have gotten rid of the dumb thing.

 

  "Hi, you must be the Legendary Colin, I'm Tiffany."  Tiffany flirted.

  "You're a regular f*cking genius, aren't you."  Colin commented.  It was pretty f*cking obvious who the h*ll he was, especially when he had overheard Rom saying so, and then he had pointed Colin out to her.

  "Thank you!"  Tiffany said brightly.

 

  Colin laughed.  "Lucky for you, you're just my type.  I dig chicks whose t*ts are bigger than their brains."  She looked at him, confused.  "Not to worry Tiff-a-ny," he mocked the sound of her name, "just follow my lead, and everything will work out."

  "Okay!" Her perky smile came back.  "I've heard that ....oooomph."  Colin pulled her in close to him, and kissed her."

 

   He reached out with his right hand and roughly fondled one of her breasts.  "Follow my lead, remember?" he whispered in her ear.   "I have a better idea of what you could do with your mouth besides talking."  Tiffany licked her lips and nodded.  "And it doesn't involve keeping your mouth shut either." he said with a smile.


  "F*cking bast*rd!"  Blake howled.  "This f*cking hurts!  Owww!!"  She panted, then she hollered again as another contraction hit.  "I swear Colin Kahekili if you were anywhere near me right now..."

 

  Colin tugged on Tiffany's hand and led her to the nearest tent.  "I'll give you a f*cking education, my little genius."  He smirked.  He entered the tent first, and motioned her in.

  Tiffany eagerly crawled after him into the tent.  She was so excited, she got to be with the legendary Colin Kahekili.   He was even better than she had imagined, his rawness and sheer masculinity were overwhelming to her senses, but she was loving every minute of it.

  

    Tiffany loved the musky scent of him, the feel of his rough hands on her skin, the sound of her panties being ripped off.  Her moans soon turned into her screaming out his name, "Colin!  Oh, yes, I love it---"


  "Colin!"  Natalie screeched.  "I f*cking hate you right now, you as*hole!"

 
    "I'm in labor with your kid, and what the hell are you doing?  F*cking some bimbo at a party!"  Natalie started crying.

  Tiffany couldn't stop herself, she kept crying out his name, she had never felt this way before.

  Blake cried out, the pains were getting closer and closer together, she felt like her body was literally splitting apart.

  Colin climbed out of the tent, fastening his pants as he did so.  Jake and Rom threw some rocks at him.  "What the hell?" he said, as tried to dodge their missiles.

  "You a*s." Rom said.  "The least you could do was f*ck her quietly.  Sh*t."

  Colin grinned at him.  "Now, Rom, you know being quiet isn't in my nature.  But, hey, I've got her f*cking warmed up now, go ahead and f*ck her yourself."  Colin pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it, and took a drag off it.  "Hey, what happens at University, stays at University.  I won't judge, and I won't tell."  He took another drag, and inhaled deeply.

 
  Her son looked up at her with blinking eyes, but he didn't cry.  She couldn't believe that the bundle that was in her arms, had just a few minutes ago, been inside her.  She grabbed a towel, and cleaned him up, then swaddled him in a blue blanket.  "I'm going to call you Nickolas."  she decided.  She had done all the hard work, so she deserved to name her son without any input from Colin.  She wasn't going to name her son after him either.  The jerk.

 

  She stared at Nickolas, the child that was supposed to make Colin be closer to her, instead he had pulled them farther apart.  She waited to feel some type of maternal love towards this baby she had carried for the past nine months, but she didn't feel a thing.

  Blake gave out one last yelp, and then delivered a little girl.  The baby squalled so loudly, Blake wished she had ear plugs.  "F*cking brat." she muttered.  She was so glad she could get rid of this thing, and hand it over to Natalie.  She screwed up her face as she looked at the wriggling worm in her arms.  She bounced the baby, not so gently, trying to get it to shut up.  Finally the baby quietened, and Blake breathed a sigh of relief.  "I declare, you are as noisy as my cousin Jada, I absolutely despise her.  I'm not so fond of you either, you and your ear shattering cry."  She twisted her lips.  Blake stared straight ahead, thinking.  "That's what I'll call you.  Jada."

 

  The baby stared at her.  "Don't look at me that way.  Your father wouldn't even bother to give you a name, so I'm doing you a favor.  At least it's a name, even if it's a b*tchy name.  She was always jealous of me." Blake mused.  "Of my good looks, popularity, wealth, I have it all."  The baby waved her fists, and kicked her legs. "Hey now, don't get any ideas, I'm not giving any of it up.  So when you get older, don't even think about it.  The money is all mine, and I am not sharing it.  So, if you're smart, you'll stay away.  Now, let's go find your step-mama, I heard her screaming earlier, so I presume she has given birth too.  You'll have a name, and a sibling too.  You also have sh*t for parents," Blake shrugged, "but that's the way the cookie crumbled for you kid."

  The rest of the night passed by in a blur for Colin, he drank a lot, he made out with countless, nameless chicks, he f*cked them as long as they weren't ugly and had a decent body.  Those lines blurred the more he drank.

 

  Just how many girls did he f*ck anyway?  He tried to remember.   There had been a few redheads, several blondes, he remembered Rom puking his guts out, Jake puking his guts out...

    He had even puked his guts out, but was that before or after he f*cked the chick with the pink hair?

 

  Must have been before.  He f*cked the chick with the green hair after puking, because he had remarked that her hair was the same color as his vomit.  He definitely remembered the chick with the camera phone though, she kept taking pictures of everyone and everything.

 

Until Colin had enough of that sh*t, and broke her phone.  She had turned all kinds of f*cking pissy on him, but he had soon turned that around.  They didn't even make it to a tent, then she had the f*cking audacity to complain about bark rub afterwards.  Like it was his fault.

  Colin shook his head, then regretted the action immediately as his head throbbed painfully.  D*mn.  It had been one hell of a party, he remembered that, lots of students coming and going.  He walked through the front door of his dorm, and sighed.  He could tell that Natalie was going to be a b*tch.  Sh*t.  It was too f*cking early in the morning to deal with her bullsh*t.  He tried to walk by her, but she caught his shoulder.  "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded to know.

  "Who the hell are you?  My mother?"

  "No, I'm your f*cking wife!"

  Colin scratched his five o clock shadow.  "Hmm, I don't think so.  I f*cked quite a few women, but not one wife."  She went to slap him, and he grabbed her wrist.  "I wouldn't advise it." he said coldly, and then he let her go.  She glared at him.

  "I am so tired of this."  Natalie said.

  "Join the f*cking club Natalie.  This was all your idea, now move the hell out of my way, I need to catch a nap."  Just then, Colin heard his phone ring.

 

"Stupid f*cking phone, hello Dad, now is not a good time, I'm just going to bed." Colin listened for a moment, "Yeah, I graduate in a week.  No, don't bother coming out, I'm not staying for the ceremony, it's a f*cking waste of time.  I'm grabbing my diploma and getting the hell out of here, after I say a very special goodbye to an acquaintance of mine, Edward.  Oh, and I'll have a little surprise for you and Mom."


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  Notes:  Okay, he's a jerk, but I had fun with the scene where he had 3 different women yelling out his name for different reasons!  Haha!  I had to look up other words that meant scream.  And sorry (again!), but that is as close as I get to writing sex scenes, lol

  Yes, poor babies, they don't have the best of parents at all.  Blake even surprised me a little as I was writing this, it wasn't exactly the way I was planning to go, but, it worked out, lol

  Jake is brave guy, he's also a good friend, and tells Colin exactly the way he sees things.  Colin is not exactly receptive to his point of view!

  Colin managed to pass (barely!) and get his diploma.  He didn't go to class very often, he never studied, but he cheated for all he was worth on his exams, lol  He got away with it too.

  So just how does the family react to Colin bringing home more than a diploma?  That's for next chapter! ;)