Chapter 70: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Warning: This chapter has lots of bad language and lots of bad behavior.  Read at your own risk!

  It was late afternoon, and Colin was already in a foul mood before he even set foot inside the house.  Natalie had been a complete b*tch, nagging and crying at him the whole way home.  To top it off, both babies were fussy and wouldn't stop howling.  Whatever, he just wanted some peace.  He doubted he would get it any time soon, because he still had to deal with his family.

  His parents were sitting on the couch, watching some f*cking lamea*s movie.  His grandfather he noticed was sitting cross legged on the floor, playing with a toddler.  Colin grunted.  Time to get the unpleasantries over and done with.  He waltzed into the room, Natalie followed behind him nervously.  She wasn't sure what to expect from his family.

  "Mom, Dad, Grandpa, this is my wife Natalie, and this is," he looked at the baby he held.  What the f*ck?  Which one did he hold?  Pink blanket.  It must be the girl.  What the f*ck was her name?

  "Jada."  Natalie whispered helpfully.

  "This is Jada, my daughter."  He had a hard time choking that last word out.  "The other one is my...my..."

  Alder cringed, he had a feeling this was not going to end well.  Did Colin really care so little about his kids that he couldn't even remember their names?

  "Son, Nickolas."  Natalie replied for him.

  "Nickolas." he echoed.

  "You're married?"  Ryder asked, shocked.  "And you have twins?"

  "Oh, look at the precious babies!" Cherie exclaimed.

 
  "They're not twins Dad."

  "Not twins but how..." He gestured at the two babies who appeared to be the same age.

  "I f*cked two girls at the same time, well, actually I f*cked a lot of girls while at University, only two f*cked up and got f*cking knocked up."

  "Colin Kahekili, no foul language in my house!" his mother reprimanded him.  "I don't care how those two precious little ones came to be, I already love them."

  "Soooo..." Ryder said.

   "...you got married, and didn't say a word.  You had two children, and you didn't say a word..."

    "You didn't tell your family about us?"  Natalie interrupted, she turned to look at Colin.  "I can't believe you didn't say a word to them about me, or your children!"

  Colin shrugged.  "What's to say?  They f*cking know now don't they?"

  Natalie glared at him.  "What were you thinking!" She yelled.  "I'm supposed to be a part of your life, not something you throw in the closet and forget about unless you need it!"

 

  "When did I ever say you were a part of my life?"

  "Now Colin," Alder cautioned.  "Maybe you two should just..."

  "When you married me!  That's what marriage is!  It's sharing your life with someone you love!"

  "F*ck, not this sh*t again."  Colin ground his teeth.

  "Yes, this sh*t again because you haven't been listening to me!  I want us to have a real marriage, where we have a white picket fence and a dog maybe, where we could raise our kids and grow old together.  I love you Colin, and I think you could love me too if you gave us a chance!" she pleaded.

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "Stupid f*cking b*tch with sh*t for brains."

  "Colin!"  Cherie gasped.  "Language!"

  Colin ignored his mother.  "Only a total f*cking moron would believe that I would just settle down with one f*cking woman." He snorted.  "And love?" He mocked.  "Love is horsesh*t, a f*cking lie people tell themselves."

  "Does that mean you'll never love me?" she asked quietly.

  Colin snarled.  "F*ck.  How f*cking stupid are you?  That's what I've been f*cking telling you all along, and you say I don't f*cking listen!" 

 

   Natalie looked away from him, devastated.  "What happens next?" she whispered.

  Colin shrugged.  "I'll buy you and the kids a house to live in, so you can have your f*cking white picket fence.  I'll have my lawyer send you the divorce papers."

   "Wait a moment Colin, don't be hasty!"  Alder said.  "Divorce doesn't fix your problems, I should know.  Maybe you two could see a counselor, I'm sure I could find a phone number for one, just give me a minute..."

 
  Colin sighed.  "Forget it Grandpa, I'm not interested in fixing anything.  She'll have her house and her kids, and she'll find someone else to f*ck when she gets lonely."

  "You wouldn't care if I went and had sex with someone else?  Like one of your best friends?"

  "Why should I?  We're over.  F*ck the whole town for all I care.  I'll even send you child support money for these two f*cking brats."  He shuddered.  "I'll be f*cking glad to see the last of them."

  Natalie turned and looked at him.  "You as*hole.  You think I'm going to raise your bastard along with our son?"

 

 
   Natalie ignored Alder's gasp, her words were true.  Jada was Colin's bastard daughter, and d*mned if she was going to be stuck raising a child that was not hers.  In fact, the more she thought about things, the angrier she got.  How dare he?  How DARE he!!  He shrugged again, and his total lack of caring infuriated her.  "You as*hole, that's it!  You think I'm going to raise your kids, well, f*cking think again.  You can raise them, both of them!"

  "F*ck that!  I don't f*cking want them!"  Colin said angrily.

  Natalie laid Nickolas down on the floor.  She didn't want any reminders of her biggest, most painful mistake anyway.  "I don't care what you want Colin, and you know what?  It's liberating!"

 

  Colin started to panic.  Was she f*cking serious?  What the h*ll was he going to do with them?  "Natalie, stop being f*cking unreasonable!"

  Natalie laughed bitterly.  "That's rich coming from you."

  "You wanted the maggots, you f*cking take them."

  "Good bye Colin."  She headed for the door.

  "You walk out that f*cking door, and you forget the house, the fence, any of it, you f*cking wh*re!"  Natalie kept walking.  "What the h*ll am I going to do with them?" he yelled at her.

 

  "Try raising them, as*hole!" she yelled back, then she was gone.  Nickolas started crying, and Jada soon followed suit.

  "F*ck. F*ck. F*ck."  He jiggled the worm in his arms.  "F*ck.  Dad, I need you to call a f*cking orphanage."

  Ryder sighed.  "Both parents have to be dead before you can drop them off at an orphanage."

  "Sh*t, don't tempt me."  Jada cried louder.  "F*ck, are you f*cking sure?"  Ryder nodded his head.  "Sh*t.  What the f*ck am I going to do with the little maggots?"

  Ryder had already gotten up, and had Nikolas in his arms, his little face was purple from crying so hard.  Ryder sat back down on the couch, and snuggled the baby.   "Well, for one," Cherie said to Colin, "you shouldn't jiggle her so hard, it's frightening for the poor little thing.  Here let me see her, and I'll show you."

  "Like you're the f*cking expert?  You never f*cking did anything with us, and suddenly you're f*cking parent of the year?"

  Cherie pursed her lips.  "You were a baby Colin, so you'd hardly remember what I did or didn't do."  She held her arms out.  Colin glared at her, but handed the baby over.  He didn't really want to hold it anyway.  "See, Col, just like...where are you going?"  Colin didn't answer, he just disappeared.  Cherie rocked the baby in her arms and crooned softly to her.  "There, there, little one.  Don't you worry none.  Your grandma's got you."

  Once both babies were settling down, Ryder turned to his wife.  "Well, it looks like we have the touch with them."

  Cherie smiled sadly.  "Yes, I just wish we had the same touch with our son."

~<>~

  Colin surveyed the beach, looking for dumbsh*ts that didn't know how to swim.  He liked the job well enough, even if he ended up saving fat a*ssed old men more than anyone, at least it kept him away from hell.  He hated going home, to the noise, to the expectations, to the pressures.  He did much better out here, in the open air, dragging dumbsh*ts out of the water.

 

  Some beaches he liked better than others, for one, because some were busier than others, which meant more women in bikinis.  His personal favorite had a lifeguard shack that he had dubbed the Love Shack.  It had just enough room to push a woman up against the wall for a quick f*ck.  He sighed.  It was f*cking boring at this beach, he could go for a quick f*ck.

  He watched as the sun set over the horizon.

 

  A quick scan to the other side and it looked like the f*cking retards still out there weren't getting out anytime soon.  He tapped his foot impatiently, he would have looked at his watch too if he wore one.  He had things to do, he didn't want to f*cking babysit dumba*ses all night.  He watched as one woman suddenly staggered out of the water, and dropped to the sand, rather dramatically.

     He shook his head.  Mrs. MacAnna had been chasing after him for some time now.  Stupid wh*re didn't even realize he preferred to do the chasing.  Moronic f*cking outfit she wore to go swimming in too.  Stupid b*tch.  She floundered around on the sand for a few minutes, imitating a death scene he imagined, before she finally laid still.  She was a sh*tty actress.

  Still, he really didn't want to lose this job, it kept him out of his house, away from his family, he got paid to f*ck in the Love Shack, and he could have as much time off as he wanted.  Which he took advantage of, so he could travel.  He loved traveling, meeting women from around the world who weren't interested in anything permanent.  Just a good f*ck, and he was an expert in that.  He had even managed to be gone for the maggots' birthdays, for which he counted his lucky stars. 

  Speaking of lucky, he walked over to where Teagan laid on the sand, and knelt down beside her.  He lowered his mouth until his lips barely touched hers, he noticed the little hitch in her breathing, the f*cking liar.

 

     He whispered softly against her lips, "I wouldn't f*ck you if you pranced around me f*cking naked Teagan.  So give it up, and go chase your husband instead.  I hear he's been f*cking your sister, but then again, who hasn't?"

  Teagan opened her eyes and glared at him.  "You slept with my sister?  What's wrong with me that you won't sleep with me?"

  "You're f*cking stupid."  Colin retorted.  "Wearing that f*cking long dress while swimming in the ocean, I think you have some f*cking mental issues.  You'd better see a f*cking doctor."

  She gasped.  "You're such a jerk!  I have mental issues?"  She stood up and brushed the sand off of her.  Colin calmly lit a cigarette.

 

  "Well, you're the sh*tty a*s actress that staged that whole f*cked up passing out scene, and you went swimming in a f*cking dress.  Yep, you're f*cking mental."

  Teagan narrowed her eyes at him.  "You'd best watch yourself Colin Kakekili, I'm best friends with Sophie."

  Colin shrugged.  "Like I give a f*ck who you're friends with."

  "She runs Dragon Valley."

  Colin choked, then started laughing.  "F*ck, you seriously think that?  Sophie lost her chance to run Dragon Valley when she lost my brother.  Now, go the f*ck home, I have things to do."
 
~<>~

  Cherie walked into chaos, and it was noisy.  "What's going on in here?" she asked her husband.

  "The kids want their dad."  Ryder said wearily.  "Jacob had his birthday, and he's upset that his dad isn't here.  Jada and Nik keep crying for their dad, I don't know why,the most he ever does with them is steal their lollipops."

  Alder cuddled Jada, and she subsided into whimpers.  "It'll be okay." he soothed.  Alder wasn't sure if he was talking to Jada, Ryder, or even himself.  His son must have had the same thought, because Ryder smiled at him.

  Jacob scowled.  He was really mad.  His Dad should have been there.  Grandpa tried to tell him that his dad didn't have a choice, that he had to work, but Jacob didn't care about any of that.  He just wanted his Dad.

 

 
     Hours later when his Dad came home, Jacob pounced on him.  "Dad!" he shouted,  "Where were you?  Didn't you know that today was my birthday?"  Didn't you care?, he thought, but he didn't say it.

 

   
  Colin eyed his oldest spawn.  How did it get so much bigger over night?  What the f*ck was it saying?  His ears were still ringing from the fight he had started at the bar.  He opened his mouth, and winced a bit from the small cut over his lip.  The four guys he beat up for disrespecting him were in far worse shape.  They could barely hobble out of the bar.  He grinned, then winced again as the cut on his lip pulled.  "Sh*t."

   "You forgot it was my birthday?" Jacob asked.

  Colin looked down at him.  "What the f*ck?"

  
  "My birthday Dad!  Did you remember it?"

  Was it saying today was it's birthday?  Sh*t.  He knew he had come back from Moonlight Falls too soon, he just couldn't remember why he had wanted to stay longer.  F*ck.  The spawn was still staring at him.  Sh*t.  Colin sighed.  "I don't pay attention to anyone's birthdays Maggot, not even my own."  That was truth at least, the nicest he could come up with.  "Now f*cking scram Maggot."

  Jacob glowered as he stomped away.  He didn't like being called a maggot, and he couldn't believe that his own father didn't care that today was Jacob's special day.  He scuffed his boot on the floor as he walked down the hallway.  His grandmother saw him, and she didn't ask him a thing, just pulled him onto her lap and hugged him.  "Aww, Sweetie." she said as she kissed his hair, and hugged him tight.  He liked being called sweetie, that was much nicer than maggot.  He sniffed.  His dad was a meanie.

~<>~

  Colin felt a tug on his pants, he looked down. "F*ck."

  "F*ck." Jada parroted back at him.  She raised her arms up.

  "Sh*t, you're going to grow up into a female aren't you?"

  "F*ck!  F*ck!"  Jada jabbered, she kept reaching her arms up towards him.  He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag off of it, he ignored the maggot pulling on his pant legs.  She whimpered.  "F*ck."

  Colin was startled into laughter.  "F*ck indeed.  Who let you out of your cage Maggot?"  He looked around, but didn't see anyone near by.  "F*ck indeed."  He swooped down and picked her up.  "Let's put you back into your f*cking cage shall we?"

    Jada snuggled into him, and patted his chest.  "F*ck" she chortled happily.  Colin rolled his eyes, and brought her into the nursery, he plopped her into her crib.  She started to cry, but he ignored her tears and walked out of the room.

  Alder watched as Jacob stalked around.  He had been sulking ever since the night of his birthday.  The look in the boy's eye reminded Alder too much of another little boy.  He sighed heavily.

 

  "Ry, one of us is going to have to talk to that boy of yours.  He hated how he was raised, yet he's doing the same thing to his kids, maybe even worse."

  "Yeah, but the question is, will he listen?  He's so hardheaded Dad, I failed him so much as a parent."  Ryder laughed sadly.  "The funny thing is, you were a much better parent than I was, yet I always thought of myself as being a better parent, a more mature person.  I'm so sorry Dad, for all those times when I looked down on you."

  Alder smiled at his son.  "Ry, no parent is perfect, least of all me.  You are the way you are, because of how I was when I was younger.  Someone had to be mature, and I'm only sorry that it ended up being you boys instead of your Mom or I."  Alder sighed again.  "Unfortunate for us, it seems that Colin has inherited more than his fair share of the Fae blood.  The Fae don't think about consequences, and we can be very single minded."

  Ryder hugged his father.  "I love you Dad, thanks for always being here for me, and for reminding me of what's important, being there for my children, and grandchilren.  I'll go talk to Colin, maybe he's in a reasonable mood today."

  Alder chuckled.  "One can always hope."

  Ryder found his son in the kitchen.  "Colin, can I talk to you for a minute?"

  Colin turned around, and shrugged.

    "Colin, I know that you're upset with your mother and I..."

  "Dad," Colin interrupted, "Do we have to f*cking talk about this now?"

  "Yes, we do."  Ryder said.  "It's important Colin.  I get that your mad at us, that you hate the way you were raised, and you have every right to your feelings..."

  "No sh*t."

  Ryder ignored Colin's interjection and kept talking.  "But you are doing the very same thing to your own kids, don't you see?  It's not too late to change, otherwise you could end up with resentful children just like you."

  Colin quirked an eyebrow.

 

  "Oh come on Dad, I haven't f*cking turned out so bad.  I rather enjoy my life.  I can f*ck whenever I want, I can travel wherever I want, and f*ck some more, I can..."

  Ryder closed his eyes briefly.  "Colin, would you just listen to yourself for a moment?  Nowhere in there did you mention love, or family, the important things of life.  Love is the greatest power in the world Colin, and you're missing out on it!  Worse still, you're repeating my mistakes with your own children!"

  Colin sighed.  "This is about the Maggot's birthday isn't it?"

  "I think you should find a nicer nickname for Jacob, maggot is hardly appropriate, and you'll hurt his feelings."

  "What the f*ck Dad?  I was being nice, I didn't call him little sh*t, now did I?"

  Ryder shook his head.  "You are impossible, and you've managed to derail me from my point."

  Colin stared at his Dad.  "Point?  There was a f*cking point to this?"

    "Yes," Ryder said determinedly.  "The point is your kids are suffering..."

  Colin groaned.  "Sh*t.  What the f*ck do I care?"

  It was Ryder's turn to stare at his son.  "I would think that you would care a lot, isn't that the reason you are so upset with your mother and I?  The fact that you felt abandoned?"

  "F*ck yeah, and I'm still p*ssed about it.  The difference dear old dad, is that you two f*cking tried to have kids, you f*cking wanted to have kids, and you f*cked your kids up.  I. never wanted the little sh*ts, and I've never f*cking pretended otherwise."

  Ryder shook his head sadly.  "Is that how you rationalize it to yourself?"

 
  Colin shrugged.  "Works for me."

  "Someday Colin, you're going to wake up, and when you do, you'll think about this day, and you're going to have an ocean full of regrets."

  "Thanks for the f*cking sage advice there Dad."  Colin said sarcastically.

  "You haven't heard a word I've said have you?"

  "Were you saying something f*cking important?  All I heard was blah, blah, blah..."

  "Have it your way Colin, but it's a lonely place, where you're heading."

  "It's a good thing I f*cking like my own company then, isn't it?"  They stared at each other, neither one blinked or said a word.

    "You are so stubborn and hardheaded."  Ryder finally said, exasperated.

  "Oh ow Dad, that f*cking hurt my feelings."  Colin mocked his Dad's earlier words. He knew he was being a jacka*s, but he couldn't seem to stop himself, his Dad was hitting too close to home.  Colin already knew he made a f*cking terrible father, he tried his f*cking best to stay away from his kids for that very reason.  They would be better off without him f*cking up their lives.

  Just look at his f*cking parents.  They'd had their sh*t together, unlike him, yet they had still f*cked up big time, what f*king hope did he have of succeeding where they had f*cking failed?  Sh*t.  He had no hope.  The urge to actually talk to his Dad was so strong though, it p*ssed Colin off even more.  What the f*ck would it accomplish?  Nothing.  His Dad couldn't help when he was a f*cking kid, there was no way he could help him now. Colin knew who he was, and what he was capable of or not capable of.  And if the f*cking doubts tried to crowd in, he'd f*cking make sure to drown them out in drinking, smoking, and f*cking.

   The whole conversation was f*cking pointless, and a complete f*cking waste of his time.  Who the f*ck was his Dad to give him parenting advice anyway?  His Dad had f*cking sucked as a parent.

  "You are my son Colin, and whether you choose to believe it or not, I do love you.  When that day comes that you need my help, or my support, I'll be there, I promise, because that is what parents do."

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "What kind of a f*cking promise is that?"

  "When you hit rock bottom, you'll know."

  Colin started to say something further to his Dad, when his phone rang.  He answered it instead.  "This is Colin, the man, the myth, the legend."  He listened intently to the voice on the other line.

    "A trip to China!  F*ck yeah, I'd love to go."  Colin was stoked, a legitimate travel opportunity from his work, some sort of f*cking feel good bullsh*t class about learning discipline and harmonizing his f*cking soul.  The feel good part was total bullsh*t, he could give a flying f*ck about it.   He had always wanted to learn Wu Ying Tao though, that alone would f*cking make the trip worthwhile.  He could go kick some Chinese a*s.  As a bonus, he would miss two more birthdays, and it couldn't have come at a better time.  He was f*cking tired of all the bullsh*t at home, he needed a break.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

  Notes:  Ryder was so close to pushing through, but he didn't know it, and so the opportunity is gone.  Colin is convinced in his own mind, that he is actually doing what is best for his kids, which is having as little contact with them as possible.  As time goes on, we'll see how Colin's implosion affects everyone in the family, but at the moment he has rationalized his behavior away.

  He did get a lame opportunity in China, and since he doesn't like to stick around when things get uncomfortable (especially emotionally!), he accepted the opportunity to run, lol.  He has been getting into his weekly fights too, though I may not always show it in the story.

  Natalie actually left the household pregnant, lol  Which was not in my plans, and so that baby is not going to be raised in the active household either. Natalie and Colin had one of the shortest marriages in my legacy ever, lol

  Colin also won't win any Parent of the Year awards.  He thought his little girl cursing was almost cute, he calls his kids names, and he nearly runs away screaming from them. Ryder and Cherie are the ones pretty much raising them, with help from Alder.

  The lifeguard career is quite silly.  The sim starts to drown, Colin will run out to rescue them, he'll toss them a floaty, they'll use that to swim back to shore, then they'll drop dramatically onto the sand, and Colin will perform CPR on them.  Afterwards, they'll thank him.  If they are a flirty sim, they will flirt right away.  If he doesn't catch a sim in time (because it takes so long to *rescue* one sim!) they'll rescue themselves and then slap Colin for nearly letting them drown.  Which doesn't go over very well with Colin, lol  I do love the heroic run though---best part of the lifeguard career.  This is how I amuse myself when Colin is on lifeguard duty, lol

 

  And yes, Alder kept photo bombing my big divorce scene, but he's so cute about it, how could I be mad at him? lol :P

  Some outtakes of a sort:

  

  Um, just no.  Alder is SO not interested!

 

  Some very thankful sims that Colin *rescued*

 

 I posted on my tumblr a whole little scene with Colin and Evie, lol

  And last but not least---this has been Colin's state of mind ever since the kids came, lol

 

 

  Thanks for reading! =)