Thursday, October 24, 2013

Chapter 71: Made in China

Warning: This chapter has lots of bad language and lots of bad behavior.  Read at your own risk!

  "F*ck"  The trip to China was long and boring as h*ll, and now this sh*t.


  Really?  They couldn't have found him a f*cking hotel that didn't have a thousand f*cking stairs?  "Sh*t."  By the time he reached the top, it would be time to f*cking go home again.

  He was hung over, jet lagged, dying for a f*cking cigarette, and all he wanted to see was a f*cking bed and the back of his f*cking eyelids.  He grumpily stomped towards the stairs. 



  Twenty four hours later, and his mood was a little more improved.  He had laughed at the hotel clerk, Mr.Chan, when he had told Colin everyone rode bicycles here. Bicycles.  F*ck that, he wasn't riding any stupid f*cking bicycle.  It had taken a few hours to locate a motorcycle similar to the one he had home, but with Colin prodding him, Mr. Chan had managed to do so.  Colin had sleep, wheels, and a pack of smokes, now he just needed to find something to do.  He had a whole day to kill.

    Imperial City.  A place for Emperors.  Colin parked his motorcycle and jumped off.  It seemed as a good as a place as any to look around.

  He was disappointed to realize it was a tourist trap, and the shops were filled with stupid sh*t that only a f*cking sentimentalist would want to buy. Really?  A f*cking Chinese vase?  He could easily find half a dozen of the f*cking things back home, all stamped with Made in China. 


  A pair of curved swords caught his eye though, until he realized they too were fake, made in China sh*t.


  Even the clerks were f*cking stupid, and just stared at him with their tongues hanging out like some kind of f*cking retard.


  He was about to write the whole f*cking day off as a big f*cking waste of his time, when he walked into the last store, a bookstore.  The clerk was even female.  Even if she ended up being stupid as sh*t it wouldn't matter to him, females he could work with, and maybe his f*cking day wouldn't be so f*cking wasted after all.

  Colin had never really understood why he held such appeal to the opposite sex, but he didn't really care about the whys either.  He only knew that he was irresistible to females.

  He didn't care if they were married, engaged, or single.  He didn't care if they had kids, lived in a hovel, or even what their names were.  He only cared about one thing.  How quickly he could f*ck them, and then forget them.

  He was almost bored with how easy it all was.


  At least a quick f*ck in the water closet relieved some of his frustrations.


  He was done with the sight seeing, and ready to move on.  It was too early to go back to his hotel room, he wasn't in the mood for any more Chinese, but he was hungry.  He had seen some cherry trees outside of the town limits, so he stopped to pick some.

  The next morning he got his a*s handed to him on a platter, and by a female who had the temerity to grin at him afterwards.  It p*ssed him off, and he tried again, and again, and again, but she somehow used his strength against him each time.  "F*ck!" he snarled, as he picked himself up again.

  "You slow learner." she observed.

  "How the f*ck do you do that?  I never lost a fight before today, it's f*cking humiliating."

  She shook her head slightly.  "We no fight, we spar, see?  You have too much emotion, not enough discipline."


  "That's your f*cking professional opinion, is it?"

  She nodded, then she spoke softly,  "You very angry man, you must push anger away.  The fire of anger, only burns the angry.  My name is Wu, I teach Wu Ying Tao, the formless way.  We bend, we move, we use others' energy, redirect it, make it our own."

  Colin stared at her.  "You can teach me to kick your a*s?"

  She laughed and her eyes sparkled with glee.  "Maybe, that is up to you.  Will you be able to handle my class?"  She shrugged.  "Only time will tell."

  Colin stiffened.  Be able to?  What the f*ck?  Like there was some doubt?  Of course he could.  He could f*cking handle what the h*ll ever she sent his f*cking way.  He narrowed his eyes.  "You're on."  He could f*cking do this, with his eyes f*cking shut and both hands f*cking tied behind his back.

  She grinned at him again.  "You too predictable.  We work on that."

  And work on it he did, for weeks and weeks, he used the training dummy, and sometimes he wondered which one was the dummy.  It was only sheer stubbornness that kept him from walking.  No f*cking female was going to get the best of him.


  Until one day, it just clicked.  All the words and teachings that Wu had taught him day after day, week after week, finally sunk in.  D*mn.  He was a f*cking slow learner.

  He found Wu in the outdoors garden.  He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, and kissed her hard.


  When he pulled back slightly, both of them were breathing hard, and her eyes were wide.  "F*ck.  I figured it out, Wu.  I can f*cking kick your a*s tomorrow, but tonight, I'll settle for f*cking your a*s."  He hadn't f*cked anyone in weeks, it was a new record for him, and not one that he had set out to accomplish either.

  He had spent countless f*cking hours, hacking and chopping at a hunk of wood that clobbered him back instead, determined that he would not be beat, and he hadn't been.  He had won!  With euphoria racing through his blood, he felt like f*cking superman, which only made him feel edgier, in need of the release that only f*cking gave him.

  Wu didn't question, but just followed him to the showers, where he f*cking showed her who was actually in charge.

  Before he left China, Wu gifted him with his own training dummy, so that he could practice at home she said.  Not lose his discipline or concentration.  He kissed her one last time, before boarding his flight home.  Home.  He sighed.  He both missed it, and dreaded it.


 As soon as he stepped in the door, he was accosted by a bigger version of his daughter, Jada.  "Daddy!  You're home!"  She hugged him quickly, then pulled away before he could push her away.  "You're home just in time!" she said excitedly.


 "In time for what?" he asked cautiously.

  "To take us to the City Park of course!"  His boys came crashing down the stairs, and skidded to a stop in front of him.  Jada grabbed Colin's arm before he could form a protest, and the boys pushed him from behind as they half dragged, half pushed him down to the City Park.  He must still be jet lagged, that had to be the only f*cking reason why he had allowed himself to be dragged to a stupid f*cking park.

  But he wasn't f*cking happy about it.


  Then he spotted a woman, and suddenly his mood improved.  "Okay, you little sh...maggots, here's some money, go buy yourselves a lollipop or something, what the h*ll ever, just f*cking scram."

  "But Daddy!" Jada said, uncertainly, "Don't you want to spend time with us?  You just got home!"

  "I ain't no f*cking baby."  Jacob yelled.  "I don't eat lollipops."

  Nick just silently watched.

  "F*ck no, I'd pick f*cking a woman over you little sh...maggots any day.  Eat lollipops or eat dirt, f*ck, I don't care.  Just stay the h*ll away from me, you little sh...maggots really cramp my style.  F*ck." he muttered as he walked away.

  He approached the woman in question, and whispered a few words in her ear.  She giggled, and allowed him to lead her back behind some bushes, where he showed off his life saving techniques.


  "What did I do?"  Jada asked her brothers.

  Jacob hugged her.  "Nothing Jada, Dad is just a big fat jerk."

  "He's not fat."  Nick interjected.

  "What's he doing in those bushes?"  She got on her tippy toes, trying to look over the bushes.  "They sure are making a lot of noise back there."

  Jacob pulled her back.  "He's gross too.  Let's go see if we can get some cotton candy or something, okay?"

  She shrugged.  "Okay."


  "I really think you should consider remarrying.  While you and Natalie weren't the best match, I believe there is someone out there that will fit you perfectly.  You won't know unless you try, and look, and your kids could really use the stability."  Alder could barely believe those words were coming out of his mouth.  It must be the end of the world!  Wouldn't his mother be proud to hear those words though, and his Dad would....  Alder sighed sadly.  His Dad would just grin at him, and wink.  He missed his parents.  While his mother was alive and well, he rarely ever saw her.  At one time he would have considered that a blessing.  "Colin?  Are you listening?"


  In response, Colin laughed, hysterically.  "Grandpa, you have some funny notions.  The last f*cking thing I need is a f*cking wife.  What a pain in the a*s they are, almost as bad as f*cking maggots.  At least the maggots will f*cking grow up and move away someday.  A wife?  F*ck no."


  Alder smiled at him, not taking any offense to his words.  He remembered how he used to think, and how things might have been different if he hadn't been so adamant about thwarting his mother, instead of just focusing on what he actually wanted.  All those wasted years, he would not wish that on anyone, let alone his grandson.  Alder would learn from his mother's mistake though, and he wouldn't push it.  "Well, I still think it would be a good idea.  Just keep it in mind, okay?"

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "Whatever you say Grandpa."

  Later that night, Jacob walked outside by himself.  He stared moodily at the surrounding water, he wanted to be alone on his birthday, and outside was the only place he could find.  He didn't want to deal with the pitying looks from his grandparents, or great grandparent, and he really didn't want to deal with his Dad's sh*t.

  He picked up a rock, and threw it into the water.  He stared into it's murky depths.  Why him?  Why did he have to have the world's most f*cked up father?


 She was the first thing he saw when he walked into the bar.

  It was a seedy little dive on the northern tip of Dragon Valley, and Colin had just bought it out a few weeks ago.  He spent a lot of time in places like this, he didn't see why he couldn't hang out and make money at it at the same time.   He sure as f*ck spent enough money in them.

  He let his eyes follow the curve of her spine, down the short skirt that barely covered her firm a*s, to her sexy long legs.  F*ck yeah.  He wanted some of that.  She was talking to the mixologist, Pete, her voice was husky, but smooth as silk.  He was instantly enchanted.  Who the f*ck was this angel?  And how did she end up in his bar when it didn't open yet for another two hours?

  He came up behind her, she instantly stiffened, but he ignored that, and wrapped one arm around her, pulling her in closer to his warmth.  He loved the way she smelled, of sea and sunshine, and sand, and danger.  F*ck yeah, he loved the aroma of danger.  He whispered in her ear.  "If you're looking for a job Angel, then you're hired."

  She turned in his arms, fire in her eyes, and he got his first look at her.  Whatever she was going to say to him  though, died on her lips, as she stared back at him.


  F*ck.  She was magnificent.  The air crackled around them.  She slowly licked her lips, and boldly let her eyes wander down his body, taking him in as he had done to her earlier.  He casually pushed away from her, and gave her his cocky smile, trying to mask the mass confusion that ran through his brain.  Why the h*ll did he react so strongly to her?  F*ck.  Beyond wanting a piece of a*s, he never reacted to a woman like this, she f*cking overloaded his senses, the only thing that made him feel a little better, was that she was obviously affected too, and trying her best not to f*cking show it either.

  He sat down on a nearby chair, and affected an aura of calmness he did not feel.  "F*cking mute, huh?  You just may be the most f*cking perfect woman I have ever seen in that case."

  That kicked the fire up in her eyes.  She walked towards him, and Colin couldn't look away even if he had wanted to, when she got within a foot of him, she crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly.  "Is that so?  I would think a guy such as you would get off hearing his woman scream his name while she's being f*cked by him, instead of laying there mute."

  "Is that an invitation Angel?  Shall we prove your point?  I'm f*cking ready whenever you are."

  "Does that line usually work for you?"  Her words were scornful, but he could see the desire she tried to hide behind the scorn.  She was as f*cking hot for him as he was for her.

  He shrugged.  "Usually."

  "So, what, they just drop their panties," Ivory gracefully shimmied out of hers, giving him hints of her body but not letting him fully see, "and then they straddle you," she climbed onto his lap, "and then what?" She rocked her hips, rubbing her body against his, drawing a moan from herself and him.

  "Sh*t."  He grabbed her a*s, needing to feel more of her as she threaded her hands in his hair and tugged on him.

  "Then what Stud?" she huskily whispered in his ear.  "Do you just f*ck, like an animal?"  She rubbed against him again, and nipped at his neck. He let one hand slip up her skirt, and skim her thighs, stroking higher and higher, her breathing hitched.  Colin was afraid that if he didn't get his pants off f*cking now, he was going to f*cking disgrace himself.

  To his shock, she abruptly stood up, and fluffed her hair.  "Well, as amusing as all of this has been, I've got an appointment to go to."  She waved her fingers at him, and blew him a kiss.  "F*ck you a*shole."  she said as she sashayed away. 

   Colin watched her leave, bemused.  His body was still rock hard and aching, and demanding release.  He knew he could finish the job himself, or find another girl within minutes, but neither idea appealed to him.  He wanted the one that had just jacked him up, but had then walked away from him, and he had stupidly watched her go like a f*cking moron.  If he'd had his sh*t together, he would have followed her.   

  For the first time in longer than he cared to remember, he was p*ssed that he didn't even get her name.  How the f*ck could he find her?  Or should he let her find him?  He was rather well known, while he had never seen her before.

  What the f*ck was she doing in his bar anyway?  She wasn't looking for a job, since she didn't exactly jump at his offer.  And how the h*ll had she gotten in?  Pete must have let her in, did that mean Pete knew who she was?  He turned to look at his mixologist, who was staring at him with a sort of horrified fascination.


Notes:  Dun Dun Dun!  So enters my mysterious character.  Who is she?  What's her name?  What does she want?  What is she up to?  Haha, all of that you'll find out later.  I promise she is a big part of the story, and Colin is about to meet his match! =D  I cannot tell you how excited I am about this storyline, I only hope I write it well enough, lol :P  I have been steadily taking pictures for it, for weeks now, so that when I was ready to write it, most of the pictures would already be done.  Now I just need the words, lol

  I also want to say a big thank you to Jenn, for letting me use her sim, I really appreciate it!  She's perfect for this role. 

  I laughed when I saw Alder go up to Colin and start talking about marriage, that was too funny, and of course I had to write that in. Elly really would have loved it, she's off in fairy land though, still grieving the loss of her Reilly.

  Colin has advanced pretty quickly with the Martial Arts skill (Mostly because Wu seemed to imply he couldn't, and that is like waving a red flag at a bull for Colin.), which is good, he's gonna need it later.    =)

  And----sorry all, I couldn't help myself, I had to write all those bad puns! lol :P  Resistance was futile...

  Next chapter you will all learn a lot more about my mystery girl.  I'm almost done with writing it, I'm still trying to nail down one particular scene...

  Thanks for reading!!


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Chapter 70: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Warning: This chapter has lots of bad language and lots of bad behavior.  Read at your own risk!

  It was late afternoon, and Colin was already in a foul mood before he even set foot inside the house.  Natalie had been a complete b*tch, nagging and crying at him the whole way home.  To top it off, both babies were fussy and wouldn't stop howling.  Whatever, he just wanted some peace.  He doubted he would get it any time soon, because he still had to deal with his family.

  His parents were sitting on the couch, watching some f*cking lamea*s movie.  His grandfather he noticed was sitting cross legged on the floor, playing with a toddler.  Colin grunted.  Time to get the unpleasantries over and done with.  He waltzed into the room, Natalie followed behind him nervously.  She wasn't sure what to expect from his family.

  "Mom, Dad, Grandpa, this is my wife Natalie, and this is," he looked at the baby he held.  What the f*ck?  Which one did he hold?  Pink blanket.  It must be the girl.  What the f*ck was her name?

  "Jada."  Natalie whispered helpfully.

  "This is Jada, my daughter."  He had a hard time choking that last word out.  "The other one is"

  Alder cringed, he had a feeling this was not going to end well.  Did Colin really care so little about his kids that he couldn't even remember their names?

  "Son, Nickolas."  Natalie replied for him.

  "Nickolas." he echoed.

  "You're married?"  Ryder asked, shocked.  "And you have twins?"

  "Oh, look at the precious babies!" Cherie exclaimed.

  "They're not twins Dad."

  "Not twins but how..." He gestured at the two babies who appeared to be the same age.

  "I f*cked two girls at the same time, well, actually I f*cked a lot of girls while at University, only two f*cked up and got f*cking knocked up."

  "Colin Kahekili, no foul language in my house!" his mother reprimanded him.  "I don't care how those two precious little ones came to be, I already love them."

  "Soooo..." Ryder said.

   " got married, and didn't say a word.  You had two children, and you didn't say a word..."

    "You didn't tell your family about us?"  Natalie interrupted, she turned to look at Colin.  "I can't believe you didn't say a word to them about me, or your children!"

  Colin shrugged.  "What's to say?  They f*cking know now don't they?"

  Natalie glared at him.  "What were you thinking!" She yelled.  "I'm supposed to be a part of your life, not something you throw in the closet and forget about unless you need it!"


  "When did I ever say you were a part of my life?"

  "Now Colin," Alder cautioned.  "Maybe you two should just..."

  "When you married me!  That's what marriage is!  It's sharing your life with someone you love!"

  "F*ck, not this sh*t again."  Colin ground his teeth.

  "Yes, this sh*t again because you haven't been listening to me!  I want us to have a real marriage, where we have a white picket fence and a dog maybe, where we could raise our kids and grow old together.  I love you Colin, and I think you could love me too if you gave us a chance!" she pleaded.

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "Stupid f*cking b*tch with sh*t for brains."

  "Colin!"  Cherie gasped.  "Language!"

  Colin ignored his mother.  "Only a total f*cking moron would believe that I would just settle down with one f*cking woman." He snorted.  "And love?" He mocked.  "Love is horsesh*t, a f*cking lie people tell themselves."

  "Does that mean you'll never love me?" she asked quietly.

  Colin snarled.  "F*ck.  How f*cking stupid are you?  That's what I've been f*cking telling you all along, and you say I don't f*cking listen!" 


   Natalie looked away from him, devastated.  "What happens next?" she whispered.

  Colin shrugged.  "I'll buy you and the kids a house to live in, so you can have your f*cking white picket fence.  I'll have my lawyer send you the divorce papers."

   "Wait a moment Colin, don't be hasty!"  Alder said.  "Divorce doesn't fix your problems, I should know.  Maybe you two could see a counselor, I'm sure I could find a phone number for one, just give me a minute..."

  Colin sighed.  "Forget it Grandpa, I'm not interested in fixing anything.  She'll have her house and her kids, and she'll find someone else to f*ck when she gets lonely."

  "You wouldn't care if I went and had sex with someone else?  Like one of your best friends?"

  "Why should I?  We're over.  F*ck the whole town for all I care.  I'll even send you child support money for these two f*cking brats."  He shuddered.  "I'll be f*cking glad to see the last of them."

  Natalie turned and looked at him.  "You as*hole.  You think I'm going to raise your bastard along with our son?"

   Natalie ignored Alder's gasp, her words were true.  Jada was Colin's bastard daughter, and d*mned if she was going to be stuck raising a child that was not hers.  In fact, the more she thought about things, the angrier she got.  How dare he?  How DARE he!!  He shrugged again, and his total lack of caring infuriated her.  "You as*hole, that's it!  You think I'm going to raise your kids, well, f*cking think again.  You can raise them, both of them!"

  "F*ck that!  I don't f*cking want them!"  Colin said angrily.

  Natalie laid Nickolas down on the floor.  She didn't want any reminders of her biggest, most painful mistake anyway.  "I don't care what you want Colin, and you know what?  It's liberating!"


  Colin started to panic.  Was she f*cking serious?  What the h*ll was he going to do with them?  "Natalie, stop being f*cking unreasonable!"

  Natalie laughed bitterly.  "That's rich coming from you."

  "You wanted the maggots, you f*cking take them."

  "Good bye Colin."  She headed for the door.

  "You walk out that f*cking door, and you forget the house, the fence, any of it, you f*cking wh*re!"  Natalie kept walking.  "What the h*ll am I going to do with them?" he yelled at her.


  "Try raising them, as*hole!" she yelled back, then she was gone.  Nickolas started crying, and Jada soon followed suit.

  "F*ck. F*ck. F*ck."  He jiggled the worm in his arms.  "F*ck.  Dad, I need you to call a f*cking orphanage."

  Ryder sighed.  "Both parents have to be dead before you can drop them off at an orphanage."

  "Sh*t, don't tempt me."  Jada cried louder.  "F*ck, are you f*cking sure?"  Ryder nodded his head.  "Sh*t.  What the f*ck am I going to do with the little maggots?"

  Ryder had already gotten up, and had Nikolas in his arms, his little face was purple from crying so hard.  Ryder sat back down on the couch, and snuggled the baby.   "Well, for one," Cherie said to Colin, "you shouldn't jiggle her so hard, it's frightening for the poor little thing.  Here let me see her, and I'll show you."

  "Like you're the f*cking expert?  You never f*cking did anything with us, and suddenly you're f*cking parent of the year?"

  Cherie pursed her lips.  "You were a baby Colin, so you'd hardly remember what I did or didn't do."  She held her arms out.  Colin glared at her, but handed the baby over.  He didn't really want to hold it anyway.  "See, Col, just like...where are you going?"  Colin didn't answer, he just disappeared.  Cherie rocked the baby in her arms and crooned softly to her.  "There, there, little one.  Don't you worry none.  Your grandma's got you."

  Once both babies were settling down, Ryder turned to his wife.  "Well, it looks like we have the touch with them."

  Cherie smiled sadly.  "Yes, I just wish we had the same touch with our son."


  Colin surveyed the beach, looking for dumbsh*ts that didn't know how to swim.  He liked the job well enough, even if he ended up saving fat a*ssed old men more than anyone, at least it kept him away from hell.  He hated going home, to the noise, to the expectations, to the pressures.  He did much better out here, in the open air, dragging dumbsh*ts out of the water.


  Some beaches he liked better than others, for one, because some were busier than others, which meant more women in bikinis.  His personal favorite had a lifeguard shack that he had dubbed the Love Shack.  It had just enough room to push a woman up against the wall for a quick f*ck.  He sighed.  It was f*cking boring at this beach, he could go for a quick f*ck.

  He watched as the sun set over the horizon.


  A quick scan to the other side and it looked like the f*cking retards still out there weren't getting out anytime soon.  He tapped his foot impatiently, he would have looked at his watch too if he wore one.  He had things to do, he didn't want to f*cking babysit dumba*ses all night.  He watched as one woman suddenly staggered out of the water, and dropped to the sand, rather dramatically.

     He shook his head.  Mrs. MacAnna had been chasing after him for some time now.  Stupid wh*re didn't even realize he preferred to do the chasing.  Moronic f*cking outfit she wore to go swimming in too.  Stupid b*tch.  She floundered around on the sand for a few minutes, imitating a death scene he imagined, before she finally laid still.  She was a sh*tty actress.

  Still, he really didn't want to lose this job, it kept him out of his house, away from his family, he got paid to f*ck in the Love Shack, and he could have as much time off as he wanted.  Which he took advantage of, so he could travel.  He loved traveling, meeting women from around the world who weren't interested in anything permanent.  Just a good f*ck, and he was an expert in that.  He had even managed to be gone for the maggots' birthdays, for which he counted his lucky stars. 

  Speaking of lucky, he walked over to where Teagan laid on the sand, and knelt down beside her.  He lowered his mouth until his lips barely touched hers, he noticed the little hitch in her breathing, the f*cking liar.


     He whispered softly against her lips, "I wouldn't f*ck you if you pranced around me f*cking naked Teagan.  So give it up, and go chase your husband instead.  I hear he's been f*cking your sister, but then again, who hasn't?"

  Teagan opened her eyes and glared at him.  "You slept with my sister?  What's wrong with me that you won't sleep with me?"

  "You're f*cking stupid."  Colin retorted.  "Wearing that f*cking long dress while swimming in the ocean, I think you have some f*cking mental issues.  You'd better see a f*cking doctor."

  She gasped.  "You're such a jerk!  I have mental issues?"  She stood up and brushed the sand off of her.  Colin calmly lit a cigarette.


  "Well, you're the sh*tty a*s actress that staged that whole f*cked up passing out scene, and you went swimming in a f*cking dress.  Yep, you're f*cking mental."

  Teagan narrowed her eyes at him.  "You'd best watch yourself Colin Kakekili, I'm best friends with Sophie."

  Colin shrugged.  "Like I give a f*ck who you're friends with."

  "She runs Dragon Valley."

  Colin choked, then started laughing.  "F*ck, you seriously think that?  Sophie lost her chance to run Dragon Valley when she lost my brother.  Now, go the f*ck home, I have things to do."

  Cherie walked into chaos, and it was noisy.  "What's going on in here?" she asked her husband.

  "The kids want their dad."  Ryder said wearily.  "Jacob had his birthday, and he's upset that his dad isn't here.  Jada and Nik keep crying for their dad, I don't know why,the most he ever does with them is steal their lollipops."

  Alder cuddled Jada, and she subsided into whimpers.  "It'll be okay." he soothed.  Alder wasn't sure if he was talking to Jada, Ryder, or even himself.  His son must have had the same thought, because Ryder smiled at him.

  Jacob scowled.  He was really mad.  His Dad should have been there.  Grandpa tried to tell him that his dad didn't have a choice, that he had to work, but Jacob didn't care about any of that.  He just wanted his Dad.

     Hours later when his Dad came home, Jacob pounced on him.  "Dad!" he shouted,  "Where were you?  Didn't you know that today was my birthday?"  Didn't you care?, he thought, but he didn't say it.


  Colin eyed his oldest spawn.  How did it get so much bigger over night?  What the f*ck was it saying?  His ears were still ringing from the fight he had started at the bar.  He opened his mouth, and winced a bit from the small cut over his lip.  The four guys he beat up for disrespecting him were in far worse shape.  They could barely hobble out of the bar.  He grinned, then winced again as the cut on his lip pulled.  "Sh*t."

   "You forgot it was my birthday?" Jacob asked.

  Colin looked down at him.  "What the f*ck?"

  "My birthday Dad!  Did you remember it?"

  Was it saying today was it's birthday?  Sh*t.  He knew he had come back from Moonlight Falls too soon, he just couldn't remember why he had wanted to stay longer.  F*ck.  The spawn was still staring at him.  Sh*t.  Colin sighed.  "I don't pay attention to anyone's birthdays Maggot, not even my own."  That was truth at least, the nicest he could come up with.  "Now f*cking scram Maggot."

  Jacob glowered as he stomped away.  He didn't like being called a maggot, and he couldn't believe that his own father didn't care that today was Jacob's special day.  He scuffed his boot on the floor as he walked down the hallway.  His grandmother saw him, and she didn't ask him a thing, just pulled him onto her lap and hugged him.  "Aww, Sweetie." she said as she kissed his hair, and hugged him tight.  He liked being called sweetie, that was much nicer than maggot.  He sniffed.  His dad was a meanie.


  Colin felt a tug on his pants, he looked down. "F*ck."

  "F*ck." Jada parroted back at him.  She raised her arms up.

  "Sh*t, you're going to grow up into a female aren't you?"

  "F*ck!  F*ck!"  Jada jabbered, she kept reaching her arms up towards him.  He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag off of it, he ignored the maggot pulling on his pant legs.  She whimpered.  "F*ck."

  Colin was startled into laughter.  "F*ck indeed.  Who let you out of your cage Maggot?"  He looked around, but didn't see anyone near by.  "F*ck indeed."  He swooped down and picked her up.  "Let's put you back into your f*cking cage shall we?"

    Jada snuggled into him, and patted his chest.  "F*ck" she chortled happily.  Colin rolled his eyes, and brought her into the nursery, he plopped her into her crib.  She started to cry, but he ignored her tears and walked out of the room.

  Alder watched as Jacob stalked around.  He had been sulking ever since the night of his birthday.  The look in the boy's eye reminded Alder too much of another little boy.  He sighed heavily.


  "Ry, one of us is going to have to talk to that boy of yours.  He hated how he was raised, yet he's doing the same thing to his kids, maybe even worse."

  "Yeah, but the question is, will he listen?  He's so hardheaded Dad, I failed him so much as a parent."  Ryder laughed sadly.  "The funny thing is, you were a much better parent than I was, yet I always thought of myself as being a better parent, a more mature person.  I'm so sorry Dad, for all those times when I looked down on you."

  Alder smiled at his son.  "Ry, no parent is perfect, least of all me.  You are the way you are, because of how I was when I was younger.  Someone had to be mature, and I'm only sorry that it ended up being you boys instead of your Mom or I."  Alder sighed again.  "Unfortunate for us, it seems that Colin has inherited more than his fair share of the Fae blood.  The Fae don't think about consequences, and we can be very single minded."

  Ryder hugged his father.  "I love you Dad, thanks for always being here for me, and for reminding me of what's important, being there for my children, and grandchilren.  I'll go talk to Colin, maybe he's in a reasonable mood today."

  Alder chuckled.  "One can always hope."

  Ryder found his son in the kitchen.  "Colin, can I talk to you for a minute?"

  Colin turned around, and shrugged.

    "Colin, I know that you're upset with your mother and I..."

  "Dad," Colin interrupted, "Do we have to f*cking talk about this now?"

  "Yes, we do."  Ryder said.  "It's important Colin.  I get that your mad at us, that you hate the way you were raised, and you have every right to your feelings..."

  "No sh*t."

  Ryder ignored Colin's interjection and kept talking.  "But you are doing the very same thing to your own kids, don't you see?  It's not too late to change, otherwise you could end up with resentful children just like you."

  Colin quirked an eyebrow.


  "Oh come on Dad, I haven't f*cking turned out so bad.  I rather enjoy my life.  I can f*ck whenever I want, I can travel wherever I want, and f*ck some more, I can..."

  Ryder closed his eyes briefly.  "Colin, would you just listen to yourself for a moment?  Nowhere in there did you mention love, or family, the important things of life.  Love is the greatest power in the world Colin, and you're missing out on it!  Worse still, you're repeating my mistakes with your own children!"

  Colin sighed.  "This is about the Maggot's birthday isn't it?"

  "I think you should find a nicer nickname for Jacob, maggot is hardly appropriate, and you'll hurt his feelings."

  "What the f*ck Dad?  I was being nice, I didn't call him little sh*t, now did I?"

  Ryder shook his head.  "You are impossible, and you've managed to derail me from my point."

  Colin stared at his Dad.  "Point?  There was a f*cking point to this?"

    "Yes," Ryder said determinedly.  "The point is your kids are suffering..."

  Colin groaned.  "Sh*t.  What the f*ck do I care?"

  It was Ryder's turn to stare at his son.  "I would think that you would care a lot, isn't that the reason you are so upset with your mother and I?  The fact that you felt abandoned?"

  "F*ck yeah, and I'm still p*ssed about it.  The difference dear old dad, is that you two f*cking tried to have kids, you f*cking wanted to have kids, and you f*cked your kids up.  I. never wanted the little sh*ts, and I've never f*cking pretended otherwise."

  Ryder shook his head sadly.  "Is that how you rationalize it to yourself?"

  Colin shrugged.  "Works for me."

  "Someday Colin, you're going to wake up, and when you do, you'll think about this day, and you're going to have an ocean full of regrets."

  "Thanks for the f*cking sage advice there Dad."  Colin said sarcastically.

  "You haven't heard a word I've said have you?"

  "Were you saying something f*cking important?  All I heard was blah, blah, blah..."

  "Have it your way Colin, but it's a lonely place, where you're heading."

  "It's a good thing I f*cking like my own company then, isn't it?"  They stared at each other, neither one blinked or said a word.

    "You are so stubborn and hardheaded."  Ryder finally said, exasperated.

  "Oh ow Dad, that f*cking hurt my feelings."  Colin mocked his Dad's earlier words. He knew he was being a jacka*s, but he couldn't seem to stop himself, his Dad was hitting too close to home.  Colin already knew he made a f*cking terrible father, he tried his f*cking best to stay away from his kids for that very reason.  They would be better off without him f*cking up their lives.

  Just look at his f*cking parents.  They'd had their sh*t together, unlike him, yet they had still f*cked up big time, what f*king hope did he have of succeeding where they had f*cking failed?  Sh*t.  He had no hope.  The urge to actually talk to his Dad was so strong though, it p*ssed Colin off even more.  What the f*ck would it accomplish?  Nothing.  His Dad couldn't help when he was a f*cking kid, there was no way he could help him now. Colin knew who he was, and what he was capable of or not capable of.  And if the f*cking doubts tried to crowd in, he'd f*cking make sure to drown them out in drinking, smoking, and f*cking.

   The whole conversation was f*cking pointless, and a complete f*cking waste of his time.  Who the f*ck was his Dad to give him parenting advice anyway?  His Dad had f*cking sucked as a parent.

  "You are my son Colin, and whether you choose to believe it or not, I do love you.  When that day comes that you need my help, or my support, I'll be there, I promise, because that is what parents do."

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "What kind of a f*cking promise is that?"

  "When you hit rock bottom, you'll know."

  Colin started to say something further to his Dad, when his phone rang.  He answered it instead.  "This is Colin, the man, the myth, the legend."  He listened intently to the voice on the other line.

    "A trip to China!  F*ck yeah, I'd love to go."  Colin was stoked, a legitimate travel opportunity from his work, some sort of f*cking feel good bullsh*t class about learning discipline and harmonizing his f*cking soul.  The feel good part was total bullsh*t, he could give a flying f*ck about it.   He had always wanted to learn Wu Ying Tao though, that alone would f*cking make the trip worthwhile.  He could go kick some Chinese a*s.  As a bonus, he would miss two more birthdays, and it couldn't have come at a better time.  He was f*cking tired of all the bullsh*t at home, he needed a break.


  Notes:  Ryder was so close to pushing through, but he didn't know it, and so the opportunity is gone.  Colin is convinced in his own mind, that he is actually doing what is best for his kids, which is having as little contact with them as possible.  As time goes on, we'll see how Colin's implosion affects everyone in the family, but at the moment he has rationalized his behavior away.

  He did get a lame opportunity in China, and since he doesn't like to stick around when things get uncomfortable (especially emotionally!), he accepted the opportunity to run, lol.  He has been getting into his weekly fights too, though I may not always show it in the story.

  Natalie actually left the household pregnant, lol  Which was not in my plans, and so that baby is not going to be raised in the active household either. Natalie and Colin had one of the shortest marriages in my legacy ever, lol

  Colin also won't win any Parent of the Year awards.  He thought his little girl cursing was almost cute, he calls his kids names, and he nearly runs away screaming from them. Ryder and Cherie are the ones pretty much raising them, with help from Alder.

  The lifeguard career is quite silly.  The sim starts to drown, Colin will run out to rescue them, he'll toss them a floaty, they'll use that to swim back to shore, then they'll drop dramatically onto the sand, and Colin will perform CPR on them.  Afterwards, they'll thank him.  If they are a flirty sim, they will flirt right away.  If he doesn't catch a sim in time (because it takes so long to *rescue* one sim!) they'll rescue themselves and then slap Colin for nearly letting them drown.  Which doesn't go over very well with Colin, lol  I do love the heroic run though---best part of the lifeguard career.  This is how I amuse myself when Colin is on lifeguard duty, lol


  And yes, Alder kept photo bombing my big divorce scene, but he's so cute about it, how could I be mad at him? lol :P

  Some outtakes of a sort:


  Um, just no.  Alder is SO not interested!


  Some very thankful sims that Colin *rescued*


 I posted on my tumblr a whole little scene with Colin and Evie, lol

  And last but not least---this has been Colin's state of mind ever since the kids came, lol



  Thanks for reading! =)