Chapter 95: Promise

  Warning: Language



  Julia sped through the corners at 130 mph, her mother would have said recklessly, but Julia knew every curve on this road, she had been down it many times, so, for her, it was controlled speed.

  Her mother feared that Julia had a death wish, but she didn't, Julia just loved the thrum of the engine beneath her, the wind in her hair, and the adrenaline surge from watching life pass by in mere seconds.

  It reminded her that she was still alive.

  The only thing better than riding her Ninja, was diving.  Under the water was incredibly peaceful, not to mention beautiful, and Julia was always finding knick knacks of some kind to sell to Bentley,  the local consignment shop owner.  Why people bought the stuff was beyond her, but it gave her something to do besides sit at home and twiddle her thumbs.

 

  She hated sitting still, it gave her too much time to think, and that was not a good thing.  She pulled up in front of a statue of Death, and shut her motorcycle off.  She jumped off of it, and started walking towards the back of the cemetery.  When she was younger, she would come out this way for some peace, and to smoke without getting any grief from her family.

  Now, she came out here every few months just to talk to him.  She knew Rian wasn't there, there hadn't even been a body to recover, but it made her feel better to have a place to come to, so she'd had a headstone placed with his name on it.

  Sometimes she would sit and say nothing at all, but most times she came to tell him about their daughter Bella, and how she was growing up so quickly.  She knew that he would have appreciated the irony that their daughter loved to shop, have tea parties, and read books.

  Books. Of-all-the-things.  Julia was sure that must have come from Rian's side of the family.  

  His space was well tended, she paid someone to keep it that way, keep the moss off it, branches, or anything else.  Rian was a neat and orderly person, it just seemed wrong whenever things were messy or overgrown.

  "Hey Ri."   She sighed, and placed her head in her hands.  Her grumpa had been right, the pain did fade---in a way, but it had also changed her.  Whether for the better or for the worse, she didn't know yet.

 

  She ran her fingers over the roughened gravestone.  The sad thing was, she came here less and less often.  At first, shortly after Bella's birth, she had come nearly daily, and then weekly, and then monthly, and now?  It had been over four months since she had last come.

  Not that he would know the difference, he was gone.  She knew though.

  He had been gone almost three years now.  Three years, such a short time, and such a long time.  Three years was enough time for Julia to start to feel lonely, and that made her angry.  She didn't want to feel lonely; she didn't want to feel anything.

  "I wish you were here."  She sighed again.  "You should see Bella now, I think my mother has created a shopping monster.  In fact, I'm supposed to meet them at the boutique, can you even believe that word?  I'd just about rather shove ice picks under my fingernails, you know how much I love shopping, but Bella looks at me with those blue eyes of hers...and...I see you in her and I cave."  Julia chuckled sadly.  "Probably makes me a terrible mother right?  The fact that I can't tell my daughter no."

  There was no reply, other than the rustling of the leaves, of course there wasn't a reply, she didn't even know why part of her still listened for one.  He was gone.  Her phone buzzed, and she saw that her mother had texted her again.  It was time to go.

  

  Julia was glad to see the rain, it would melt the small amount of frost and snow that the Island had unexpectedly received the night before.  Snow wasn't so much of a bother, but the frost could make stopping dicey.

  It only took her fifteen minutes to get to the Children's Boutique.  She stared at it.  Maybe she should have ridden slower.  With a sigh, she shut of her motorcycle again, and jumped off.  It was time to put on her big girl panties and deal.  Surely she could survive one little shopping trip?

  "Mama!"  Bella came running to her as soon as she stepped in.

  Julia stooped down and picked her up.  "Hey monkey, don't you look pretty.  Did Grandma help you change your clothes?"  She gave a pointed look at her mother.  Left to her own devices, Bella would change her clothes twenty times in a day, Julia was trying to discourage that, but her mother was only too happy to play dress up with her granddaughter.

  Only granddaughter as her mother would say.  Not as if that had been Julia's choice.


 

  Her mother shrugged.  "She wanted to wear a dress."

  "I thought we were going to the beach today?  After this little shopping...expedition."  That was the only part that Julia was looking forward to, she wanted her daughter to have the same love for the beach and the Ocean that Julia had.  That Bella's father had had.

  "A little sand won't hurt anything."

  Julia turned to her grandmother, who had been silently watching.  Her grandmother never seemed to settle very well indoors, she was always cagey, looking around, almost as if she expected the bogeyman to jump out and grab her.  Bella started squirming, trying to get down.  "Okay, I give up!"  She set her daughter down on the floor.  "Let's get this over with."

  Skye shook her head.  "Some things never change."

  "I'm here, aren't I?"

  Bella tugged on Julia.  "Pwetty dress Mama.  Pwetty dress!"

  "Okay you little monkey, let's go look at the pretty dresses."  Julia's phone started to ring, and she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at it.

  "You're not going to answer that, are you?"  Her grandmother asked.

 

  Julia looked at her phone again.  It was Bentley, the man who bought all the Ocean trinkets she could find.  She had to answer it.  "I'll just be a minute!"  She promised, as she answered the phone and walked outside as quickly as she could.

  Ivory watched as her granddaughter beat a hasty retreat out the door.  "Do you think she'll back?"

  "Doubt it."  Skye answered.  "Julia has never liked shopping, but I'm so glad that this little girl does."  Skye smiled at her granddaughter who was happily going through the dresses on the rack.

  "I can't say I'm all that terribly fond of it myself.  The walls are too close, it makes me...itchy."

  "I'm glad you're here Mom."

  Ivory sighed.  "I'm glad I'm here too."

  Bella found a dress she liked and showed it to Skye.  "This one Grama!  This one!"  Skye pulled the dress off the hanger and helped Bella change into it, and then led her to the three way mirror so she could see herself.  "Pwetty!"

 

  "Yes, you look very pretty Bella."

  Bella grinned and spun around, and around, and around, watching her dress twirl.  She giggled, "I balleena!  I dance!"

  "What a brilliant dancer."  Ivory said with a smile.

  Bella giggled again when she lost her balance and plopped down onto the floor.  She looked up, and suddenly noticed that her Mama wasn't there. She frowned.  "Where's my Mama?"

  Skye said, "Talking on the phone Sweetie, she'll be right back."

  Bella crossed her arms and pouted.  She wanted her Mama to see her pwetty dress too.

  "What?  Is that a pouty face I see?  You know what happens to little girls that get pouty faces?"  Ivory asked Bella with a twinkle in her eye.

  "No!  No tickle monsers!"  Bella screeched, and tried to run away, but Ivory grabbed her before she could get away.  "No!  No tickle monsers!"

  "Ha ha!  I've got you!"  Ivory said playfully as Bella giggled some more.

 
  "Well little girl, we'd better go buy your dress and find your Mama if we're going to make it to the Beach before your naptime."

  "No nap.  I no seepy."

  Ivory chuckled.  "We'll see." 


  ~<>~


  "I no seepy!"  Bella wailed.

  Julia ignored her daughter's protests, and continued getting Bella ready for bed.  "Some little monkey didn't take a nap today."  She said as she brushed her daughter's hair out.  "Who do you think that was? Hmm, Bella?"

  Bella rubbed her eyes.  "No me."

  "Not you, huh?"  Julia chuckled.  Bella stuck her thumb in her mouth and shook her head no.  Julia picked her up, and snuggled with her, before putting her into her "big girl" bed.

  She stroked Bella's hair, and then kissed her forehead.  "Love ya to the moon and back."

  "Moon and ack" was her daughter's sleepy response.

  Julia smiled down at her daughter.  She treasured these moments with her, and wished that she could be a more normal mom for Bella.  She would try, but the more she stuck around, trying to be the type of mom her mother had been to her, the louder her thoughts became, until she couldn't stand their deafening shrill any longer. She had to do something, go somewhere, or she would explode.

  At first she had tried to keep Bella with her, on all her travels, determined that her daughter would be raised solely by her.  In practice though, it didn't work well.  Bella cried for home, she got easily bored in the hotel rooms, and never liked any of the sitters that Julia had found for her.  Soon, it just became easier to leave Bella at home. If only she didn't feel so guilty about it all...  

~<>~

  Julia tapped her toe, impatiently.  Bentley had sent her here, to the Landgraab Museum of Art and Culture, he claimed that the Curator there had a job for her.  Julia was willing to do just about anything, the restlessness in her body was becoming an itch she couldn't ignore.  She needed the distraction that this job could give her.

 

  Bentley had been rather mysterious on the whole of it.  Julia had almost decided against going, but Bentley had assured her that he didn't have any upcoming jobs available for her.  So it was this, or nothing.  She couldn't stand the thought of nothing.

  She glanced around, all was quiet, like a tomb.  She sighed, tapped her toe some more, and resisted the urge to leave.  Patience was not her virtue.  This Curator was taking too long.

  She spun around when she heard her name called.

  "Julia!  You look fantastic."

  She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  Impulse control, she could manage for a few moments...she hoped.  "Brennan.  What a surprise."

    He grinned at her.  "It's nice to see you again Jules."

  "I hate that nickname."  She said automatically.

  "It fits you so well though."  He leisurely looked her up and down, and then whistled.  "You aged well."

  She quirked a brow at him.  "Is this where I'm supposed to say the same?"  Her tone was sarcastic, but she couldn't help but notice him in return.  He exuded confidence, and power, a lion-like grace that she found attractive.  Too attractive.  D*mn the man anyway, she didn't want to feel anything, especially for him.  She tried to tamp down her inner restlessness, without much success.

  He chuckled.  "You never change Jules, you never change."

  She crossed her arms and turned away from him.  "As fun as this reunion is, I'm waiting for someone, so perhaps..."

  "Ah yes, the Curator of this fine museum.  That would be me."

  She slowly turned back towards him.  "You?  You're the Curator of this place?"

  He smiled at her.  "Yes, is that so hard to believe?"

  "Art was never your thing, or history for that matter."

  He laughed, and the sound sent shivers down her body.  She wanted to scream, why him?  Why now?  She had no reason to believe that he had changed his main character flaw, once a cheater, always a cheater.  Maybe it had just been too long since she had been with a man.  "Maybe so, but I have always appreciated beauty."

  She ignored the invitation in his eyes, or at least tried to.  "If this is some joke..."  She tried to interject some anger into her voice, but she wasn't sure how well it worked, her voice came out a bit too breathy.  She wanted to slap herself.  First thing she was going to do, was find a one nighter, her body was being ridiculous.

 

  He raised his hands defensively.  "No joke Jules, I swear, I'm on the up and up.  You may have noticed that our little museum is more dead than alive, I have been charged with changing that."  He shrugged his shoulders.  "I have some great ideas," his eyes met hers, and the heat in them nearly singed her, "about how to liven...this museum up.  And that is where you come in."

  "Doing what exactly?"

  A ghost of a smile graced his lips.  "Why, doing what you do best Jules, finding rare treasure."  He moved in closer to her, "My friend Bentley tells me you're the go to diver, willing to go anywhere in search of illusive valuables, that nothing scares you off, you are fearless.  I have in my possession, some maps, you could say, but the dive is in perilous waters.  So tell me Jules, are you interested?"

  Her breath quickened.  There was nothing she loved better than a bit of danger.  "Maybe."  She made herself reply coolly.  "If the terms are right."  No sense in letting him think he had her, Brennan the boy had always been self-assured.  Brennan the man took it to a whole other level.

  "Well, then, shall we discuss it further?"

 Julia inclined her head, and Brennan flashed a smile at her.  "Excellent!  Follow me, and I'll give you a tour of the place, and tell you my plans for it."  She followed him up the stairs, while Brennan kept up a steady stream of words.  "The previous Curator was a rather dull fellow, he was more into writings and books."  He paused to wrinkle his nose at her.  "Terribly boring!  I have in mind for something far more exciting..."

  Julia tuned him out, and took her time studying him instead.  She could see traces of the boy she had known in him, but the boy she had known was never interested in collecting art...or pieces of history.  She wondered when that had changed, and why.

  The more he talked, the more she found herself admiring his obvious passion for his job.  When was the last time she had felt such passion?  The restlessness grew even stronger in her, it was a writhing living thing within her.  A torrent of unwanted feelings and emotions crashed over her.  It had been so long since she had felt anything, let alone passion for her job.  She loved the adrenaline rush of finding treasure, she loved the peace of the Ocean's water, but passion?  Passion had died with...

  "So what do you think Jules?"  Brennan stared expectantly at her.

  She licked her lips.  What had he been talking about?  Why hadn't she at least paid a little attention to his words?  Instead of thinking about...things that were better left unthought of.  He had perfect lips, the thought came unbidden.  Did he kiss the same?  Julia closed her eyes.  What the h*ll was her problem?

 

  She met his gaze squarely.  "I'm not sure."

  "Indeed?"  He sounded surprised.  "That hardly seems like the Jules I know."

  "I've changed."  She said abruptly.  "I'm not the girl you used to know."

  There was frank admiration in his eyes.  "Oh, I know that.  We've both grown up since we last saw each other, surely you won't hold the past against me?"

  Julia started to walk away, Brennan trailed behind her.  "I don't think this is a good idea Brennan."

  "Which part?"  He put his hand on her shoulder to stop her.  "The partners part?  It might be awkward at first," he conceded, "but I'm sure we can get past that."

  Julia closed her eyes.  She could feel the warmth of his hand burning through her clothes.  She opened her eyes only to see a painting of lips, entitled "First Kiss."  She and Brennan had already had their first kiss.

  Brennan dropped his hand.  "Jules?  Are you okay?"  His voice was husky.

 

  He gently turned her around to face him.  "Jules?"

  Julia knew she should walk away, that would be the smart thing to do.  She didn't know why all of sudden her emotions had to turn all sophomore-ish on her.  It was ridiculous, the whole thing was ridiculous, yet a large part of her yearned to feel that maleness beside her again.  It didn't matter that it was Brennan of all people, her cheating douche of a boyfriend from before.  Before Rian, but Rian was gone, had been gone, and Julia was feeling needy.  "I should go."  She whispered, refusing to look into his eyes.  Brennan could think what he willed, but she should go.  Yet she didn't move.

  She didn't know who made the first move, only that her lips were pressed against his, and she could feel the hardness of him against her.  One of them moaned, or was it both of them?  She didn't know, but it was her hands clawing at his clothes, and his fingers tangled in her hair.  He just felt so good...

   "We have to stop."  She muttered, as his lips found the sensitive part of her neck.  She shuddered, and willed herself to move away from him.

  "I missed you Jules, more than I can say."  He whispered against her.  He kissed her collarbone, and moved lower, eliciting another moan from her.

  "Bren, no...we shouldn't..."  Her voice protested, but her body had a mind of it's own, as she moved restlessly against him, seeking the promise of gratification.  She was drowning in flames.

  "Look at me Jules."  She tried to resist, but he brought her face up.  His eyes were blazing.  "Tell me you want me to stop, and I will."

  "Don't stop."  Those words, were they hers?  Surely she had meant to say the opposite.  Her hands were busy unbuttoning his shirt, she wanted, no, needed, to feel his flesh. Now.

  He picked her up and brought her over to a nearby loveseat.  He helped her pull her dress off, and tossed her bra to the floor.  "You are perfect."  He breathed.  She pulled his head down to hers, and kissed him.  Her fingers fumbled with his belt.

  "It's just sex."  She muttered to him.  "Just a quick f*ck, that's all it is."  She said the words mainly to herself, she had to be realistic.  Brennan was not the man for her, Rian was.  Rian would always hold her heart, Brennan just her body.

  He ripped her panties off.  "Sure Jules, whatever you say."

 

"And only once."  She helped him pull his briefs off.

  "Mmm."  He agreed.  She screamed when her release came, but he wasn't finished making her scream.  She cried out his name, over and over, and not once did she mistake him for Rian.  When it was over, she lay motionless beneath him.  She felt drowsy, peaceful almost, the edginess that was in her earlier long gone.

  He nuzzled her breasts.  "Time for round two."

  She didn't protest.

~<>~
 
 "What?"  Her mother was giving her that look again.  The look that said, "I know what you've been up to."  Or maybe that was just Julia's conscience giving her grief.

  Skye took a sip of her tea.  "You haven't told us about your new job, or boss or anything.  You've already gone on what, three trips now?"

  "Four."  Julia muttered.  Each time she had intended to end things with Brennan, but she never quite got the words out.  She was too busy stripping his clothes off of him, seeking a few hours of blissful forgetfulness.  A small part of her felt bad, especially when she had learned that Brennan was married.  To a Landgraab heiress of all things.  He had told her theirs was not a love match, but a marriage of convenience, for business purposes.

  She should have cared.  But if he didn't, why should she?  She didn't want his heart, his money, or a proposal.  She just wanted his body, and the few hours of pleasure he gave her.  He was great in bed, she'd give him that.  Or against a wall, or on a table, or anywhere really.  Even an art museum with visitors wandering around that could see them at any time, and could definitely hear them.  It was another thing she should care about, but didn't.

  Lately she found she really didn't care about a lot, only her family, her daughter.  Maybe she had gone mad?

 

   "So?"  Her mother inquired further.  "Tell me about this new job."

  Julia shrugged.  "Not much to say."  I'm having an affair with my boss Mom, how's that for an answer?  Her mother wouldn't approve, Julia knew.  "We spend a few weeks out in the middle of the Ocean, diving for ancient artifacts.  Brennan, uh, Mr. Landgraab, has a map that shows likely locations of where ships have wrecked."

  She hadn't intended to have an affair with him, just a one off blow some steam, but her mother wouldn't understand that either.

  "Mama?  Can I have a cookie pease?"

  Julia smiled at her daughter.  "Go ahead monkey."

 Skye sighed.   "Julia, I hardly think that is an appropriate nickname for Bella."

  "But she's my little Sea Monkey, aren't you?"

  Bella nodded her head.  "Monkey!  I monkey!"

  "Monkey see, monkey do."  Ivory said softly.  "You should be careful, that little girl idolizes you, she'll want to do everything her Mama does."

  Julia eyed her grandmother.  "What is this?  Pick on Julia day?"  She didn't care what her grandmother or mother knew or didn't, her life was her own, and Bella was her daughter.

  "Just trying to save you some heart ache Julia."  Ivory responded.  If she had taken offense at Julia's tone, she didn't show it.

  "Hmmf.  Too late for that."

  "Julia!"  Her mother reprimanded her.  "What has gotten into you lately?"

  "Nothing, I'm just fine Mom.  I just hate being treated like I was twelve years old."  Her phone rang, saving her from any more comments from her mother.  "I gotta take this."  She talked for a few minutes, then hung up.  Three sets of eyes were staring at her.  "Sorry, as delightful as this tea party has been, I have to go.  Mr. Landgraab needs me."

  "Julia, your daughter needs you."  Skye said.

 

   Julia felt her temper flare up.  "My daughter is fine, and I'm fine.  If you don't want to watch her, just tell me and I'll find..."

  Skye interrupted her.  "You know I don't mind spending time with my granddaughter Julia, I just think you're missing out on..."

  "Enough.  I'm running late, and I still need to change clothes.  I'll see you later."  Julia stood up, and brushed a kiss on her daughter's soft cheek.  "I love you monkey, to the moon and back."

  ~<>~ 

 Brennan was waiting for her.  "I missed you."

 She pulled him into a kiss.  "Too much talking."

 His hands tightened around her.  "You drive me crazy Jules, you always have."

    She nipped at his shoulder.  "Are you going to just stand there and talk big?  Or..."  She trailed her hand down to his pants.

  "Vixen.  I'm addicted to you."  He groaned as he pushed himself closer into her.  "Marry me Jules, I'll be your sex slave forever."

  Julia put her hand out and stopped him.  "What the h*ll?  That better be a joke, a poor taste of one, but a joke."

  He looked at her.  "I'm serious Jules, we'd make a great couple."

  "Done that, been there, don't need a repeat.  Plus, you're already married jacka*s."

  Brennan snorted.  "I don't give a f*ck about my wife.  I could change, for you.  I've never really gotten over you Jules, I...Julia, I lo..."

  "Don't say it, Brennan.  For f*ck's sake, don't say it.  It's just sex, that's all there is between us."

 

 "Maybe we should end this."  Julia said panicky as she pushed his hands away.

  "Jules, wait."  He grabbed her before she could slip away from him.  "It was just an idea, a bone headed one, okay?  Just...relax."

  She stared at him, indecisive.  "I don't know Bren, this is just getting out of hand..."

  He pulled his shirt off, and then tugged on hers.  "Enough talking, let's just get back to f*cking okay?"

  Julia allowed herself to be persuaded, because she really didn't want to end things.  Not just yet.


_________________________________________________________________________
 
Notes: Wow!  Well then---it's been way over a year since I last posted a chapter.  Been a rough one for me, I've been embroiled in my own horrible soap opera.  Still in the midst of it, but then lately I've been dreaming about Julia's story, lol  So I'm kind of/sorta back but not really??

  Thankfully I have tons of pics already taken, so it was just a matter of writing this one up.  I still have some pics for maybe another chapter before I'll need to go in game again.  That'll be the tricky part.  Locating my Kahekili saved game, and then all the corresponding CC...but that's for another day, lol

  So the last time I opened this particular save up--it was March of 2016.  So I really don't remember where my sims all are in terms of the generational goals.  I should probably track down the goals and update them...

  Aaaaand...Julia.  She's a mess, and not really dealing very well with anything, lol  I had hopes of actually slowing the story down and showing Bella grow up---but I am an impatient writer, lol  So we'll see if I actually can make the last generation a little slower, usually I think I average about 5 chapters or so before moving on to the next generation.

  I've also played around a little bit with another Random Legacy Story--okay--fine--two of them, ha!  Some days I'm just not in the mood for plot heavy writing--which is why I started The Titans.  It's just a play style sort of story, if you can even call it a story.  I did it deliberately that way to keep myself from complicating it with plots.

  Because I actually started this one a while ago: A Rose By Any Other Name.  And then promptly started complicating it to where poses were required.  Bah--I am hopeless!!

  Anyway--thanks y'all for reading!! =)  
 

Chapter 94: New Dawn

  Warning: Language

  I give you this one thought to keep--

  I am with you still--I do not sleep

  I am a thousand winds that blow,

  I am the diamond glints on snow,

    I am the sunlight

    on ripened grain, I am the gentle

  Autumn rain.  When you awaken in the

  morning hush, I am the swift, uplifting

  rush of quiet birds in circled flight.

     I am the soft stars that shine

    at night.

  Do not think of me as gone--I am with

     you still in each new dawn.

                   ~unknown

  Sometimes, life could be a real b*tch.  Colin leaned back against the headboard of his bed, deep in thought.  He felt so many f*cking things all at once, he was almost numb; the events from three weeks ago were really taking their toll on him and the family.  Julia remained in her room all day, she wouldn't f*cking eat or talk to anyone, but her non-stop sobbing could be heard through her door.  Hawk had lived through his f*cking ordeal, barely, and earned some extra wrinkles for his troubles.  Neither he nor Skye f*cking talked very much to anyone, let alone each other.  Sh*t, Rhys was the only one who had emerged virtually unscathed, he was just a little f*cking sore.

   Colin didn't have the first f*cking idea on where to start to fix things, he was way the f*ck out of his comfort zone.  He'd had the great f*cking idea to get in touch with his father, to get his advice on how the h*ll to pull the family back together, only to discover that when he had f*cking destroyed Jack's machine, he had managed to f*cking destroy all of the d*mn modern devices that allowed travel between f*cking worlds, between whens.  A plane or a ship could f*cking take him to Moonlight Falls or any other d*mn town in this world, but a f*cking trip to where the Fae lived was no longer a f*cking option. He was so f*cked.

  A fail safe, Jack had f*cking called it, built into his machine, as a just-in-case; it was meant to destroy travel between other f*cking worlds, it would not have stopped the as*hole Medraut, but it would have slowed him down.

  Colin snorted.  Just in case.  That would have been f*cking helpful to know.

  It effectively meant that Colin's father and grandfather were f*cking stuck where they were, and Colin couldn't f*cking talk to either of them.  Which was f*cked up.  He keenly felt the loss of his dad's wisdom, his dad had always known what the h*ll to do; while Colin was f*cking stuck with his thumb up his a*s and the family was f*cking falling apart around him.   

  Love conquers all.  He could almost hear his dad's voice, how many f*cking times had he heard his father say that?  Not only say it, but f*cking live it; and despite the f*cking miles between them, it was almost like his Dad was f*cking standing right there, beside him.  Emotion clogged his throat, but he f*cking willed it away. 

  Ivory stepped out of the bathroom, a shell of herself; it wasn't the f*cking visible scars that had him concerned, it was the f*cking invisible ones.  She rarely spoke, her eyes remained haunted, and most times she f*cking trailed after him like a d*mn lost little puppy.  She had lost so much f*cking weight the bed barely dipped when she crawled onto it.  She laid her head on his chest, and he could feel her sigh.  He ran his fingers through her hair, it didn't f*cking matter what she was like now, he had her back, and somehow they would f*cking work through the sh*t.

  

  "I'm old now."  she whispered.  "Really old."

  "Yes you are."  Colin agreed, without thinking about it.

  She hit him, hard.  "What the h*ll Romeo?"

  "Ow, what the f*ck?"  Then he smiled, a real smile.  That was the first f*cking time she had sounded more like his Angel, he didn't know how the f*ck to deal with the shadow Ivory, but this one, his Ivory, he f*cking understood.  He shrugged.  "Hey, I was just agreeing with you, don't get f*cking p*ssed off at me."

  She glared at him.  "You're such an a*shole."

  "F*ck Angel, I thought that would make you happy, me agreeing with you."

  She huffed, and laid her head back on his chest.  "You haven't changed a bit."

  

  If needling her was what it took to bring her more back to herself, then he could do that, sh*t, some even called him a f*cking expert in the art of irritation.  "Why mess with perfection?" he asked with a straight face.

  "Why mess with...you...pompous...b*stard."  She sputtered. Colin started laughing, he couldn't f*cking help himself.  Her fingers fisted up and she thumped him hard a few times on his chest.  "A*s.  You're just messing with me."  She looked away from him, and sighed again.  "It's just, all these years I have lived in a nightmare I could never wake up from, Raven..."  Ivory shuddered. 

  She tried again to tell him about it, "I just..."her voice broke, "I'm sorry I..."  She shook her head, she just couldn't speak of the horrors she had endured, at least, not yet.  She changed the topic.  "And then there's you, you haven't aged a single day, you deserve someone younger and prettier and not as screwed up as I am...and then there's the kids..."  Her voice trailed off for a moment, "Babies when I saw them last.  Now they're all grown up, with babies of their own, that are all grown up, and I missed all of it!"

  He turned her face to his.  "What sort of f*cking bullsh*t nonsense is that?"  He asked fiercely. "From the f*cking first moment I f*cking laid eyes on you, I have f*cking belonged to you, and only you.  You're like," he paused, searching for a word, "gangrene in my f*cking heart! The only f*cking way to get you the f*ck out, is to f*cking cut my heart out!"

  Ivory was silent for a moment.  "Did you just compare me to gangrene?"

  Colin thought about it.  "H*ll, yes, yes I f*cking did."

  "You're so sweet, I think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me." She reached up, and kissed him.

   "I'm not sweet."  He grumbled after the kiss ended.  "I have a f*cking image to uphold here. I could compare you to fungus though, if you liked my f*cking gangrene comment so much..."

  "Don't push your luck Romeo."  She smiled at him as she said it, but then frowned slightly.  "I'm messed up."

  "F*ck, aren't we all."  Colin responded.  "This whole family is f*cked up, it's silent as a f*cking graveyard around here, even Bob is f*cking moping, and I didn't even f*cking know robots could mope."

  "Then we need to do something about it."

  "We?"

  Ivory nodded her head.  "Yes, we.  I didn't go through h*ll just to have everything fall apart once I got my family back.  Now, you start with our granddaughter, once she's doing better, I think everyone else will start doing better."

  Colin eyed her suspiciously.  "We?  That sounded like a command just for me, where's this we?"

  Ivory smiled.  "Well, let me show you..."

  An hour later, Colin was standing in front of Julia's bedroom.  He knocked, he could hear the faint sounds of puking, and then the toilet flushing.  He waited a little bit, and then knocked again.  "Go away!"  Colin took that as his invitation to enter.

 

   
  "I don't want to talk to you."

  Colin shrugged.  "Good, that'll make this a lot f*cking easier.  Get dressed, we're getting the f*ck out of here."

  "I'm not going anywhere either."  Julia said sullenly.

  "Well, Squirt, you don't have a f*cking choice.  Now get your a*s out of that bed."

  "Don't call me that."  Julia said tiredly.  "I don't want to see you, or talk to you, or anyone else.  I just want to be left alone, just go away.  I want everyone to just go the f*ck away."

  "I can't do that Squirt."

  "So what else is new?" Julia laughed bitterly. "My life is over, I just want to..."

 
 "...get your a*s up out of that bed, I agree."  Colin said firmly.  "This is the f*cking way it's going to work, either you get the f*ck up, and get your a*s dressed, or I'll haul you out of this f*cking bedroom in your pjs.  Your choice."

  She turned and glared at him.  "That isn't a choice.  You're a d*mn bully, and..."

  Colin started counting, "10, 9, 8..."

  "And I'm not going anywhere with you!  I'm never going to leave this room, I can still feel him in here, his scent is still on the sheets."  Her voice cracked.  "I'm staying right here, where he is."

  "Julia, Rian is gone, and he f*cking wouldn't want you f*cking withering away like a dumba*s.  Last time, are you going willingly, or..."

  Julia turned away.  "I'm not going anywhere with you."

 "Suit yourself."  Colin strode over to the bed, and lifted her up.  She started screaming, and hitting him, he ignored her, and threw her over his shoulder.  The commotion brought the rest of the household over.

  "Dad, what are you doing?"  Skye asked in alarm.

  "We'll be back."  Colin said, and he marched right on by the family, and out the front door.  Ivory could f*cking fill them in, he had his arms full with Julia, who was still howling, kicking, and causing a scene.  Not that Colin cared two f*cks about that, but Julia might, once she pulled her head out of her a*s.

  The beach was just a short walk from the house, maybe half a mile or so, he drew a few odd looks from nearby passersby as he made his way to the Beach with a howling cat slung over his shoulder.  As he got closer to the Ocean, Julia started to settle down, so he plopped her down on a sand dune, and then sat down next to her.

  They sat silently for a long while, and Colin just let her be.  The weather had turned slightly, and a light rain was falling, it suited his mood just fine.  The Squirt could f*cking try the patience of a saint, and he wasn't one of those, but he knew she had f*cking less patience than he did.  He was sure she would cave first and break the silence.

  "I hate you."  She finally said, without any heat.

  "I know."  

  Julia swiped a tear from her eye.  "The last time I was on the beach, it was with Rian."  Her voice cracked.  "I miss him so much Grumpa, the pain of it is unbearable!"

  Colin sighed sadly.  "I know Squirt."

  She laughed bitterly.  "How would you know?  You have your love back, Grandma Ivory is alive, while, while, Rian is dead!"

  Colin scowled at her.  "How would I know?  How the f*ck would I know?"  He sputtered,"Well, d*mn, what about all those f*cking years when I thought she was dead?  Huh?  Sure, she's f*cking alive today, but I don't know for how f*cking long, you may have noticed she f*cking aged a little.

   I've got her back, only to f*cking lose her to death again.  It nearly f*cking killed me the first time!"  Colin was silent for a moment after his outburst.  He sighed heavily, and then said in a calmer tone of voice, "But Squirt, we can't f*cking bury ourselves just to try and f*cking protect us from pain, that's a sh*tty a*s way to live.  Without the f*cking risk of pain, there isn't the joy of love.  And I would f*cking do it all over again, even though it f*cking hurts like h*ll, just because I f*cking love her, and every f*cking day with her is a gift."

  Julia sniffed.  "Grumpa, I'm sorry, I..."  Seeking comfort from him like she had when she was a little girl, she scooted closer to him, and laid her head on his shoulder.  "I don't think I can be as strong as you."

 
  "That's f*cking nonsense."  Colin said gruffly.  "Look at all you have f*cking overcome, if that's not strength, I don't know what the f*ck is.  Besides, you have someone else to consider now, so you have to be strong for them."

  "Someone else?  What are you talking about Grumpa.  I'm not in the mood for one of your riddles or pranks."

  Colin rolled his eyes.  "What the f*ck? A prank at a time like this?  What kind of guy do you think I am?"

  "An a*s."

  He bumped her shoulder playfully.  "Maybe.  That doesn't change your truth."

  Julia shook her head.  "And what's that?"

  "You're pregnant."  He said bluntly.

  "The h*ll I am."

  "The h*ll you aren't."

  She lifted her head and stared at him.  "Why the h*ll would you say something like that?  I've been sick, yes, but that's because...because...because..."

  "...you're pregnant."  Colin finished for her.  "I've been around pregnant women a time or two, you've got all the d*mn signs.  Which means, you need to f*cking take better care of yourself, you've got a baby to look after."

  Julia sat up.  "No f*cking way.  A baby?!  I'm not ready to have a baby, I'm not supposed to be a single mom!" She wailed.

  "Well, marry someone then.  Problem solved."

  "You can't be serious.  I'm never falling in love or getting married again."  She vowed.

  "Sounds lonely."

  "Hmph, if I ever feel lonely, there's ways of taking care of that, without falling in love."

   Colin sighed.  "Sh*t, done that and f*cking been there, it's not all it's cracked up to be, but you're so d*mn bull headed, I doubt anything I f*cking say right now would make a difference."

  Julia stood up, and brushed the sand off of herself.  "Thanks Grumpa.  You really know how to make a girl feel better."  She said sardonically.

 

 

  Colin smirked at her as he jumped up onto his feet.  "Well, I do my best."  He slung his arm around her.  "Now," he said conspiratorially, "let's keep that earlier little speech of mine to ourselves, shall we?  I have a f*cking reputation to maintain, can't have people thinking I'm f*cking whipped."

  Julia shook her head.  "You are unbelievable sometimes."

  He nodded his head.  "It's a gift."  He wagged his finger at her.  "No more bullsh*t, right?  Be sad, but don't f*cking act like you're dead.  Besides, if you don't change, your grandmother is going to whoop my a*s, or worse."

  Julia chuckled.  "You are so whipped Grumpa."

  Colin grinned at her.  "Sssh, not so loud!"


  ~<>~


  Julia moaned in pleasure at the first bite of the cheeseburger.  Usually she preferred healthier eating, but lately she craved junk food.  Cheeseburgers specifically.

    It was the middle of the night, and she should be sleeping, but she found it hard to sleep.  When she slept, she dreamt, and more often than not, she dreamt of Rian, which always put her in a sour mood when she woke up and remembered that he was gone.

  She took another bite of her cheeseburger.  She was so mad at him.  Mad that he left her.  Mad that he died.  Mad that he didn't tell her everything.  Bella.  Somehow he must have known that she was pregnant, and that almost made it worse.

  Most of all though, she just missed him.

  She heard footsteps and glanced up mid-bite.  "Mmmhph"

  "Hey Princess, midnight snack?"

  She swallowed her bite of food.  "Hi Daddy, yeah, I have a weakness for cheeseburgers, the greasier the better, lately.  Why are you up?"

  "Nightmares."  He didn't elaborate, and Julia didn't ask.  She was just grateful that she hadn't lost her dad too, it had been touch and go for a while.  She tilted her head and looked at him, studying him as he rummaged around in the fridge looking for a midnight snack himself.  He had aged a lot since the confrontation with his mother, and it scared her.  He grabbed a plate of what looked like waffles, and turned towards her.  "Mind if I join you?"

  "No, please do."

 
  He sat down beside her.  "How are you feeling?"

  Julia shrugged.  "Okay, I guess.  How are you and Mom?"  While her parents were still silent and awkward around each other, at least her dad had finally moved back into their bedroom, and was no longer sleeping on the couch.  Julia took that as a good sign.

  "Dealing."  He smiled briefly.  "I'm giving her some space, I really hurt her, and there's no way I can undo that."

  Julia sighed.  "I can't believe I'm going to give my Dad some advice on his love life, but here goes, sometimes Dad, space is not what we need.  Look at Grumpa, he ignored my desire for more space, and instead kicked me in the a*s by dragging me, literally kicking and screaming, out of the house."  She finished off her cheeseburger.  "It's what I needed, even if I didn't think so at that moment.  Maybe that is what Mom needs."

  "Hmm."  He grunted as he stared at the food in front of him.  "I don't know Julia, I don't think she'd react well to me hauling her out of the house over my shoulder..."

  Julia giggled at that image.  No her mother would be less than pleased if he did that.  "Not exactly what I had in mind. You sleep in the same bed right?"  She nudged him playfully.  "Well, I'd work with that."  She stood up, and grabbed her plate.  "What happens next is between you two.  I don't want to hear about it."  She smiled at him, and he smiled back.  With that said, Julia rinsed her dish off, and then kissed her dad on the cheek.  "I'm going back to bed.  Love ya Daddy."

  "Love you too."


  ~<>~



   "So what does this do?"  Julia asked, pointing at some buttons that blinked and glowed.

 

    
    Jack answered with a distracted grunt.  He was trying to analyze the chromosomes of this strange seed he had come across one day while hiking.  It was unlike any seed he had ever seen before, it seemed to have replicating abilities, and would turn into whatever it was fed.  It was quite a puzzle, and Jack loved puzzles.  At least it was something to do besides worry over the lack of a reply from Maxine.

  He had never worried if a few months went by without a reply, he knew she was busy, busy like he used to be.  She belonged to Doctor's without Borders, an organization that sent medical personal around the world to help out other less fortunate people, and that kept her plenty occupied, but it had been nearly two years since he had last heard from her.

  They had met in highschool, as Sophmores, she was the new kid, and had been assigned as his lab partner for the year.  She had been nearly as shy as he was, but once they had both figured out their mutual love of science, they had become instant friends. Jack didn't have many friends, most people thought he was slightly odd, and they had no idea what he was talking about.  His family humored him, but Maxine, she had not humored him, but instead, she had actually understood what he was saying, and added to his knowledge of many different subjects.

  They could spend hours discussing the merits of white holes versus black holes, or even how crazy the theory of an Ekpyrotic Universe was.  If Jack had believed that love was real, and not just a biochemical reaction in the brain, he would have said he loved her, but of course it wasn't, so he didn't.

  She was the only girl that he wasn't related to, that he hadn't felt terribly awkward around.

  Though, none of that mattered now, it was all ancient history.  She had wanted to travel, see the world, become a doctor and help others; but he hadn't been able to go with her, his family had needed him.  They had never been officially more than friends, even what happened on Graduation night hadn't changed that, the next morning had come...and he let her go without a word.  Really, what could he have said?  Their lives had been on different trajectories. 

  Jack stared at his computer screen.  Maybe she had finally gotten married.  He had always expected that she would.  Every letter of hers that he had ever read, that had always been in the back of his mind.  He'd had a scare once, not that he would ever begrudge her, her happiness, she deserved to be happy, but when she had written to tell him that she'd had a daughter, he had expected her to announce she was married too.

  He had refused to analyze his feelings when he found out that she wasn't married, and that the father of her baby wasn't involved.  Jack wasn't good with emotions, those were best left to someone more like his sisters.  He would stick with logic, it made more sense.

  A whirring noise snapped him out of his thoughts, he glanced up from his screen to see that Julia had managed to open up his bot tuning station.  "Ahhh!  Julia!  Stop!  What are you doing?!"

 

   She glanced over her shoulder at him.  "I asked you what those buttons were for, but you ignored me, so I decided to find out."

  Jack sighed.  He felt for his niece, he truly did.  She had been through a lot, but her boredom was going to drive him bonkers.  He didn't know why she had decided to attach herself to him, and ask endless questions about what was this?; and what did that do?.  He only had one rule for her though, not that she ever listened to it.  "What have I told you about touching things?" he grumbled.  "That machine is very delicate, I can't have you pushing buttons willy nilly."

  She walked towards him.  "So it builds robots like Bob?"

  Jack nodded.  "It's more simple, user friendly, that way any one could build a bot, not just me, but it's temperamental, I haven't worked all the bugs out of it yet."

  "So I could..."

  Jack interrupted her.  "No, you can't, no touching remember?  It's not ready.  When it is you'll be the first one I notify."

  "So what were you thinking about?"  Julia asked, curious.  Usually when he ignored her, it was because he was completely involved in whatever project he was working on, except this time, he had just been staring at the screen, motionless.  Bella chose that moment to make her presence known to her mother, and Julia rubbed her tummy.  "There, there, little one."  She whispered softly.

 

   Jack blushed and stammered.  "Nuh...nuh...nothing."

  "Who is she?"

  He frowned at her, his cheeks still bright red.  "What makes you think I was thinking about a female?"

  Julia chuckled.  "I don't know," she teased him, "those pink cheeks of yours?"

  Flustered, Jack covered his cheeks.  One of the hazards of having so little pigmentation in his skin, was when his sympathetic nervous system kicked in due to the levels of cortisol in his blood, it caused the blood vessels to widen in his face, which increased the blood flow to his skin, which caused him to...blush.  It was disconcerting.  "She is..."  He was going to say not important, but that would be a lie.

  "Well, Uncle Jack, if I were you, I'd call her and ask her out on a date."

  Call Maxine?  Preposterous.  She didn't own a phone.  But maybe he would break with tradition, and write her another letter, even though she hadn't responded yet to his last one.  He noted Julia's interested expression, and decided it was time for a little distraction.  "I need some fresh air, how about we go for a walk on the beach?"  Maybe if he explained the molecular structure of Ocean water again, she would leave him in peace for a while? 


  ~<>~


  Her daughter's cries woke her up from a lovely dream.  In her dream, it had been a warm night, with a full moon and a sky filled with shimmering stars.  Rian was holding her close, and they were swaying to the Nat King Cole song, "Unforgettable".  It had been so real too, so real, that it had taken her several moments after waking up to realize she had been dreaming, and then reality had crashed in.  Rian was gone.  That thought still had the power to hurt.

 

  As she cuddled her daughter, she couldn't help but think of him.  Her emotions ran the gamut, everything to what it would have been like if he had lived, to being p*ssed off all over again at him for not telling her everything he knew.  And then she would feel guilty for being so p*ssed at him. 

  She loved him.  She hated him.  She missed him.  She wished she had never met him.  She was glad she had known him, loved him. 

  A regular see saw of messy emotions.

  Her family tried to help, indeed, sometimes she had to fight them for time alone with Bella, someone was always holding her, but it still wasn't the same.  Rian was supposed to be the one with her.  They would have taken turns getting up in the middle of the night, and they could have shared all of Bella's firsts.  Her first smile.  Her first tooth.  Her first step.  Her first day of school.  Her first boyfriend.  Her first broken heart.

  Her thoughts were driving her mad. 

  Bella started to fuss again, and Julia gently rocked her in her arms.  "Ssshh baby, don't you fret, we can do this."  She looked down into her daughter's tiny face, at her crystaline blue eyes, the same color as Rian's.  Julia choked down a sob, but couldn't stop the tears from falling.  She missed him so much.

 

   


   Her grumpa had assured her that it would get better with time, but Julia had her doubts.  How could she move on, when everywhere she looked, she could see him?


  ~<>~
 


 "Okay, now f*cking open your eyes."  Ivory opened her eyes, and stared.  She was speechless.

  

  
   "What in the h*ll have you done Romeo?"

  Colin grinned at her.  "I promised you a f*cking house with a black picket fence, now didn't I?  I'm a man of my f*cking word.  So, surprise Angel!  I had this f*cking house built just for you."

  "I don't know what to say." In front of her was the house of her dreams, and it was completely surrounded by an...honest to goodness black picket fence.  And was that a...carousel?  In the front yard?!

  Colin scratched his chin thoughtfully.  "I may have gone a tad overboard."

  Ivory smiled.  "A tad?"

  He shrugged.  "Okay, maybe more than a f*cking tad.  I thought a new house would do all of us f*cking wonders, not just you and me, but the whole d*mn family, no old memories, only new ones."

  
   Ivory just had to ask.  "Why is there a carousel in the front yard?"

  "You told me once that you wanted to ride the f*cking carousel.  So," he pointed at the carousel, "there it is."

  Ivory shook her head.  "Maybe when I was four!"

  "Come on Angel, let's f*cking go for a ride, you know you want to."

  Ivory eyed him suspiciously.  "I don't trust that glint in your eye."

  Colin feigned innocence.  "What?! D*mn Angel, you're f*cking tough on a guy's ego."

  

    "What are you cooking up in that devious little mind of yours?"

   Colin winked.  "Well, since you asked."  He leaned in closer to her, and started nuzzling her neck.  "I do have some great f*cking ideas about breaking that carousel in..."

  
 _________________________________________________________________________

  Notes:  Ivory riding a carousel:

    I really wanted them to ride it together, together, on the same horse, just because I thought it would be cute.  However, you can't do that with the store object.  Pity.  And yes, they have a carousel in front of their house now---for a little while anyway.  I had all this space and I thought, why not?  Who doesn't want a carousel in their front yard, lol

  Also--Colin on the carousel, doesn't he look like he's having fun?!  lol

  Julia is having a tough time saying goodbye.  But hey---Gen 10 has officially been born!!!!  Woot!  It's hard to believe I started this legacy over 3 yrs ago---and I'm finally approaching the finish line.  Approaching, but no where near it yet, lol

  And yes, they moved again---the lot they had was so glitchy it was driving me crazy.  The town was a mess too, so I just saved the main legacy family, and started a new save in Sunlit Tides, which is why (sadly!!!) I had to say goodbye to Alder and Ryder (among many others).  =( 

  Also--Christmas Card--

 

  Thanks for reading! =)

  
 

Chapter 82: Memories

Warning: Language

  "I am so f*cked."  It was the first words Colin had uttered since collapsing onto the floor.  The memories and emotions flew through his mind like a broken water main.  He wished the f*ck he knew how to shut it off.  His head felt like it was f*cking spitting in two. 

  Forgetfulness was bliss, this, this was sheer f*cking agony.

  

  He wanted to f*cking howl, or beat the sh*t out of something, but he didn't.  It would f*cking freak out his girls, who were already a f*cking mess of tears and sh*t.  How the f*ck did people deal with this sh*t?  His mother's words f*cking haunted him.  Black picket fences.  Ivory's last f*cking words to him, words that hadn't meant a f*cking thing to him then, but now...

  Now they f*cking hurt like h*ll.  "F*ck.  F*ck.  F*ck.  F*ck."  He repeated the word endlessly.  "F*ck.  F*ck. F*ck.  F*ck."

  His Dad's voice interrupted his mantra.  "Colin, maybe we should take you to the emergency room?"

  Colin rolled his head over to look at his father.  "F*ck that.  I f*cking hate f*cking hospitals!"  His voice rose.  "Sh*t Dad, I f*cking thought I was the f*cked up one that f*cking lost his memory.  What the h*ll?!  F*cking forget the f*cking hospital.  Mom..."  Colin stopped.  F*ck.  His mother was f*cking dead, and he was being a f*cking as*hole.  Again.  "Sh*t."

  "Colin, I'm just..."  His Dad's voice trailed off, like he was unsure of what to say.  Dimly in the background he could hear Skye sobbing, crying harder because he said a few f*cking curse words. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her, she was always trying to clean up his language.  Because she loved him.  F*ck.

  He stared back up at the ceiling.  He was f*cked up, his emotions a hurricane within him, and he was f*cking pissed.  Pissed at himself, at his family, at the f*cked up situation he was in.  F*ck.  He was pissed at Life in general.  And he was being a f*cking as*hole to his father, who didn't f*cking deserve it.  He took a deep breath.  Sh*t.  What was he?  A f*cking pansy a*s that couldn't deal with some f*cking memories?  F*ck.  Maybe he was.  No.  F*ck that.  He wasn't a f*cking pansy a*s.  He had to get his sh*t together.

  "Sorry Dad, I'm not f*cking feeling like my..."  He paused.  F*ck.  Which f*cking self was he?  He felt the urge to f*cking laugh his head off, but he reined that impulse in.  His father was already f*cking looking at him with a f*cking mixture of fear, concern, and sorrow. He liked to f*cking think it was sorrow anyway, because f*cking pity would f*cking p*ss him off more.

 

    His Dad seemed startled, which again, made Colin want to f*cking laugh.  None of it was f*cking funny, but at the same time, it was f*cking hysterical.  F*ck.  He needed to punch some...he noticed the two boys standing by the couch.  "What the f*ck are they doing here?"

  "Daddy!  Skye wiped some of her tears away.  "Your language!  Don't you remember, Luna and I are going on a double date tonight?  To the movies?  We're going to see Invaded by Slugs."

  Colin choked out a laugh.  Didn't he f*cking remember?  F*ck.  He f*cking remembered entirely the f*ck too much.  He also f*cking remembered he f*cking disliked the pair of stupid a*s boyfriends his daughters had f*cking picked out. There was that d*ckhead Winters, and f*cking bird boy, who was too f*cking smooth.  Colin could spot a f*cking bullsh*tter a million miles away.  He didn't f*cking know what bird boy was up to, and he f*cking trusted him as far as he could f*cking throw him.  No.  He f*cking trusted him less that that.

  Luna asked, "Daddy, are you okay?" 

 

 
  He sighed.  He had f*cking flushed his whole f*cking theory of child raising down the sh*tter.  Single handedly.  He had actually f*cking parented them, and even done a f*cking decent job of it.  Ivory would have been f*cking pleased.  Just the thought of her, caused another stab of grief.

 Well, h*ll.  He groaned miserably.  His f*cking desire to comfort his daughters was f*cking overwhelming everything else.  What the f*ck had happened to him?  He eyed the two boys again, and sighed irritably once more.  "I'm okay."  He reassured his girls.  "Really."

  "That was terrifying Daddy!  Seeing you pass out like that!  What happened?"  Skylar's voice was still tearful and shaky.

  "Thanks Skye, for rubbing it in."  He joked, trying to put her at ease.  "Just a little bit of a headache, that's all.  It's fading now.  When's your movie start?"

  "In 15 minutes."  Luna answered, both girls were still wiping their tears away.  Colin was finding it f*cking hard to look at Luna, she was the f*cking image of her mother.  He forced himself to smile reassuringly at her though.  F*ck.  It wasn't her fault.

  "Well, then, where's Jack?  You guys better get going."

  "Jack's at a technology seminar."  Luna reminded her dad.

  "I'm going with them."  Alder said quietly.

  Colin chuckled.  "Well, ff..fiddle sticks.  That's even better."  The wave of intense, life stealing anguish was fading slightly, giving Colin some room to breath.  The grief was still there, raw and burning.  He couldn't f*cking make things right with his mother, or with Ivory.  They were both gone.  Forever seemed like a f*cking hollow and painful word.  His mother would never really f*cking know that he had...had loved her.  He had been a sh*tty son.

  And Ivory?  She had f*cking died believing that he hadn't f*cking cared.  Black picket fences...  He could f*cking hear her laughter in his mind.  He just f*cking bet she was laughing her f*cking a*s off at him.  Stuck him with f*cking triplets!  The b*tch.  Sh*t he missed her.  He almost didn't hear Skye's comment, he was so lost in his thoughts, but he caught the tail end of it.  "Hhhh..heck no.  I'm fine, you girls go out and enjoy your movie."

   It took a lot of prodding, but he finally convinced his girls to go watch the movie.  He f*cking needed some time to process.  Once they were gone, he turned to his father.  "I remember everything Dad."

 His dad didn't look at him.  "Everything?"

  "Everything.  I need some time to think."

  Ryder nodded.  He hesitated, then said softly, "If you need to talk, well, I'm here."

  Colin sat up, and cursed his head, and his body, and his f*cking memory for good measure.  He felt as f*cking weak as a kitten.  Pansy a*s kitten.  Sh*t.  And for some reason, it was a lot f*cking harder to not curse, though he would try his f*cking best, he didn't want Skylar getting on his f*cking case about it.   "I appreciate the f*cking offer Dad, I'll keep it in mind."


~<>~


 Colin looked around the room, at his family that were all gathered together by his request.  Sh*t.  Talk about being on the f*cking hotseat.  He preferred this though.  He knew they all had questions; concerns, and he didn't want to keep answering the same f*cking ones over and over and over.  Much better to just get it all done with at once.  Last week had been sh*tty, there was no f*cking doubt on that.  He hadn't know what the f*ck to say, or think, or do.  His f*cking heart hurt, and he hadn't even known he f*cking possessed one, especially when it came to his kids.  He had f*cking hated them, or so he had thought.

 

 
  Except Ivory had known.  He f*cking missed her so much.  She had a way of f*cking knocking sense into his brain.  He had spent the past week in a sh*tty a*s mood, sequestered in his room, trying to f*cking wrap his head around things.  Then one morning he had woken up, and it was like he could f*cking hear her.  Hear her telling him he was being a f*cking dumba*s.  And he knew what he had to do.

  He had always wondered at the f*cking shadows in his older kids' eyes.  Wondered how he could f*cking erase them.  But the Colin who couldn't remember what he had f*cking done to them, that Colin couldn't erase it.  Couldn't make things totally right.  He could though, or f*cking die trying.  Today was step one.

  "I remember."  He stated it matter of factly, and then watched the different reactions.  He was sad to say that it was fear mostly, except for Jada, who looked ready for anything, and the triplets, who had never known the other him.  "Everything.  I remember everything, in case that wasn't clear.  I know you all have questions, so, ask away.  I promise to answer, and answer truthfully, but," he warned them, "you may not like my answers."  Sh*t.  He didn't f*cking like most of his answers.

  "Why?"  The question came from Elliot, his son, but not his son.

 

  Colin briefly closed his eyes.  Sh*t.  Tough question, right out of the gate.  Elliot was standing beside his father Brae, who wasn't saying a word, but was just watching.  Colin knew he had wounded Brae with his actions, knew that Brae had forgiven him, but that had been the Colin that didn't remember.  Would his brother be able to forgive him now that he had his memories back?

  "Did you love my mother?  Hate my...my father?  Did you...did you hate me?"

  Colin rubbed the back of his neck.  Sh*t.  "Elliot, Brae, neither one of you may like my answers.  The truth is, I felt absolutely nothing for your mother Elliot.  She was just a quick f*ck."  Colin winced.  That came out a little harsher than he had intended.  Subtlety was definitely not in his nature.  "I was f*cking jealous of Brae, I thought he had it all.  That he was perfect.  And it made me feel better, at least at first, to know that I had f*cked up his perfect life.  I was a d*ck, to put it bluntly."

  Brae had crossed his arms.  "Yes, you were."

 

 "I never hated you Elliot, nor did I hate my brother, I was just a sh*thead."  That was the honest truth, how the h*ll else could he have treated his family so poorly otherwise?  He knew the anger he had kept for so many years.  Anger at his parents for not paying more attention to him.  Anger at his brother for being so f*cking perfect.  It all boiled down to him being a spoiled a*shole.

  "Then why didn't you claim me?  You claimed the others!"

  Colin laughed harshly.  "Did I?  No, I didn't claim them, the family claimed them for me.  I was an a*shole, only interested in myself, and what I wanted.  You made out much better than Jake, or Nick, or even Jada.  You have Brae for a father, and he f*cking kicked a*s as a father.  He did everything for you.  Went to your stupid a*s ballgames, helped you with your homework, taught you how to f*cking drive.  And what the f*ck was I doing at that time?  F*cking every female I could find."

  "Daddy!"  Skylar blushed beet red.  "Your language!  And..and..the things you say!"

  Colin sighed.  "Sad to say, I was only speaking the truth Skye."   He looked directly at Elliot.  "I'm not your father Elliot.  Brae is.  He raised you, loved you, and took care of you.  I'm just the a*shole that f*cked your mother.  Sh*t."  Colin groaned.  It was so f*cking hard to control his wayward tongue! 

 

  Skylar gasped.  "Daddy!"

  Brae was shaking his head.  "Only you Col.  Was that your excuse then?"

  "No.  I have no excuse for what I did.  It was fff...very wrong.  I would take it all back, if I could."

  "I wouldn't."

  Brae's remark caught Colin by surprise.  "You wouldn't?"

  "No, because I got Elliot out of the deal, and he's a d*mn good kid Col.  I would do it all over again, just so I could have my boys.  Oh, I was mad as h*ll at you for years, but like I told you, I've forgiven you.  I can't speak for Elliot though."

  Colin didn't even know he needed to hear those words, until he heard them.  "You kick a*s as a brother Brae."

  Brae grinned slightly at him.  "I kick your a*s as a brother Colin, and don't you forget it!"

  Colin smirked.  "Sh*t.  You have me there!"

  The brothers grinned at each other.   Colin sobered up quickly though, when Elliot spoke.  "I forgive you too Uncle Colin."  Elliot smiled at Brae.  "I do have a pretty kick a*s father."

  Colin would have responded further to Elliot, but Nick broke in with, "I'm sorry Dad.  I'm so sorry!"  Colin stared at his son, confused.  What did Nick have to be sorry about?  He asked as much.  "It's my fault.  All my fault."

  "What the h*ll are you talking about Nick?"  Maybe the boy was jetlagged.  They had flown in from France, just to be a part of this meeting.

  "I should have called the Police right away.  I mean, you told me to, after I was done with my game, but I accidentally fell asleep for a while.  I called them as soon as I woke up, but, it was too late!  It's my fault that you were hurt, and lost your memory, if I had just called when I was supposed to..."

  Colin stared at his son in horror.  "F*ck Nick, you've held that in all these years?  Sh*t.  It wasn't your fault Nick, the blame is totally f*cking mine.  Who the h*ll asks a child to call the police after they're done playing a video game...in the middle of the night?  F*ck that, it wasn't your fault, none of it."

  "So, you're not angry at me?"

  "H*ll no, I wish you would have said something sooner."

  "What good would it have done?"  Nick asked.  "You didn't remember."

  Colin sighed heavily.  "I'm sorry Nick, you shouldn't have had to live with that burden."

  "Are you going to go back to how you were?"  Jake asked nervously.  Colin swung his attention to his oldest son, and the one who had taken the f*cking brunt of emotional abuse from his former self.  F*ck.

 

   "To what I was?"  Jake nodded.  "No."  Colin said simply.  He watched as Jake let out a sigh of relief.  "Jake, I was a sh*tty father to you, I'm sorry, I f*cking..."

  "It's okay Dad."  Jake smiled.  "You were a jerk the first half of my life, but afterwards, you were pretty great.  So, now I know what to do and what not to do with my own kids."

  "You're own kids?"  Colin echoed.  He narrowed his eyes at Jake.  "Spill."

  Jake broke out in a full fledged grin.  "I'm going to have a baby, well, Sherri is actually, but I'm going to be a dad!  I'm just so excited!  You know what this means Dad?" 

  "A baby?!"

  "You're going to be a grandpa!"  Colin stared at his son, stunned.  F*ck.  A grandpa?  Him?  What the h*ll?!

  Jada chuckled.  "What did you expect would happen Dad?  You have all these kids!"  She waved her arms around.

  "A grandpa?"  Colin was having a hard time wrapping his head around it.  He was too young to be a grandpa!  "Well, that's, wow."  He cleared his throat.  Brae started laughing, and Colin glared at him.  "You'll be a terrific father Jake, I'm sure of it."

  "Thanks Dad.  Sherri and I are getting married in a few days, down at the courthouse.  You're welcome to come to it."

  "I wouldn't miss it."  Colin assured his son.

  Jada leaned over.  "What, no big wedding?"

 

  
  Jake turned to his sister.  "Nah, neither one of us wants a big wedding.  You could all come, though.  I would love to have my family there."

  Sh*t.  He was a lucky b*stard.  He didn't f*cking deserve his family, but he sure was f*cking glad to have them.  Then Luna piped up.  "What about our mother Daddy?  What was she like?"

  Skylar chimed in.  "Yeah, did your eyes meet across the room, and did you guys fall instantly in love?"

  "All we've been told is that she tried to kill Uncle Brae.  Everyone else knows all about their mothers, but we don't.  Was she pretty?"

  Jack groaned.  "That's a stupid question Luna, who cares if she was pretty?  She was crazy!  That's the important part, she tried to kill Uncle Brae!"

 

  The room erupted in chaos.  "Shut up Jack, you don't know anything!"  Luna yelled.

  "What?  It's the truth!"  Jack hollered back.

  "How do you know?"  Skylar shot back.  "She could have been framed, or something.  She could have a really good reason!"

  "I know cause Uncle Brae said so, and he was there!"

  "Well, Uncle Brae was drugged up, and he doesn't remember things clearly.  That's what he said when I asked him about her!  And..." 

  Colin interrupted.  "Enough!" he roared.  They all shut up and stared at him, wide eyed.  Colin grimaced, here was yet another topic he f*cking wasn't too keen on.  He glanced at his father and his grandfather, and noticed irritably that they looked quite entertained, like they were watching a f*cking three ring circus.  Sh*t, at least they still kept their f*cking peace, even if they couldn't hide their interested grins. 

 

   "Your mother," he started, then paused.  Sh*t.  He was already getting f*cking choked up.  How could he put her into words?  They seemed so pale and lifeless compared to her.  He saw that Brae had tensed up, and was watching him intently.  No f*cking wonder, Ivory had kidnapped him.  "Your mother was beautiful, she looked a lot like you Luna."

  "Really?"  Luna breathed.  She looked like her mother!

 "Daddy, how did you two meet?"  Skylar asked. Suddenly Colin found himself the target of rapid fire questions from Luna and Skylar both.  Jack threw in an occasional question too, despite his earlier words of not being interested.

  He laughed.  "Sh*t, I mean, shoot, slow down guys, and give me a chance to speak.  I could tell you guys about her later, I'm not sure everyone wants to hear this."

  "No, no, speak on bro.  We're all ears."  Brae said.  "It changed all of our lives too."

    Colin frowned slightly.  F*ck.  He supposed his brother had a point.  "In a bar."  He nodded his head in confirmation of his words.  "I met her in a bar that I had just bought, and I thought she was the f*cking hottest chick I had ever seen, and I wanted to..." he coughed slightly, "well, that's neither here nor there."  He smiled to himself.  Ivory would have hit him for calling her a chick.  "Anyway, she of course was instantly smitten with me, she just didn't know it yet."

  "Seriously?"  It was Jake, who was also listening closely.

  "Of course, there isn't a female alive who could resist me, and she was no exception."

  His kids all groaned, and Colin laughed, delighted.

  "Daddy!  Seriously!"  Luna said exasperated.

  "Okay, just the truth, the short version, some of it, you won't like."  he warned again.  He had put it off for as long as he could, hoping he could f*cking put them off forever, but they weren't falling for his delay tactics.  D*mn.  "We did meet in a bar, that I had just bought.  She had forced my bar manager to let her in.  I walked in, and...d*mn."  Colin was silent for a moment, lost in his memory of the first time he had seen her...


 

  "She was leaning against the counter, and I owned several strip bars, so I told her she was hired."

  "Daddy!"  Skylar was aghast.  "You hired her as a stripper?"  Funny, in all of her imaginings, she had never imagined her mother as a stripper too!

  Colin snorted.  "F---no.  She spun around, quick as lightning, fire in her eyes, then her eyes met mine, and I..."  He held his hands out, "...I was...I was...captivated.  So was she, or she would have fff-freaking gutted me, I'm sure.  She was an assassin, that I found out later, much later.  All I knew then, was this woman could fff-freaking kill me in an instant, yet I was drawn to her anyway.  Maybe because of the danger, I didn't give a ffff-fudge about much then.  I was self destructing in a f*cking glorious way."

  "So, she really was an assassin."  Jack said.

  Colin nodded.  "We weren't innocents, kids, at all.  No storybook prince and princess romance, that wasn't us.  I was a f*cked up a*shole, and Ivory was a bad a*s b*tch who f*cking killed for a living.  Why the f*ck did I care who she killed?  H*ll, it was nothing to me.  It wasn't like I was her target, or my family.  So what the f*ck?  I didn't know my brother was her target until that day I found him, sh*t, I wish I had known though, things could have f*cking ended differently." 

 

  The room was so quiet, Colin could hear the ticking of the clock, he had his family's full attention.  Sh*t.  "I wanted to marry her."

  Ryder choked.  "Did you say you wanted to get married?  But after your first marriage..."  Ryder's voice trailed off.  Colin's first marriage had ended nearly as quick as it had started.

  "I can't explain it Dad, I barely understand it myself.  We were just freaking good together.  She's the one that told me I was a dumba*s for treating you guys, especially my kids, the way I did.  She treasured family, said it was a gift, and she f*cking pushed me to do better.  P*ssed me off too, but she didn't f*cking care.  She got me, in a way that f*cking terrified me, but I couldn't f*cking walk away.  I understood her too, like we were..."

  "Soul mates."  Skylar breathed.

 Colin's lips twisted.  "Maybe.  All I know, is that I was better with her, than without her. I knew something was f*cked up, those last few weeks we were together.  She was more secretive, evasive, and so f*cking...sad.  So I tailed her.  She wouldn't f*cking talk to me, so I did what I had to.  I found Brae, and my focus shifted.  I had to get him the f*ck out of there, then he told me about Elliot, but before I could do anything, she was there."

  Jack sat up straighter.  "What happened then?"

  "We fought, she told me I was going to be a f*cking father again, she nailed my balls, sh*t that hurt like a mother..."  He winced at the memory of it.  "I asked her to marry me, she said she wasn't the white picket fence type.  I told her I would f*cking build a black picket fence for her, instead of white, she was going to say yes..."

  "Ahh, black picket fence."  Ryder said.  He had always wondered what that message had meant.

 

  Colin nodded.  "I had this idea that we could f*cking get married, raise the f*cking kid together.  D*mn, I was so f*cking sure that I could talk Brae into dropping any charges against her.  It wasn't Ivory anyway, it was her f*cking b*tch of a mother, who was f*cking obsessing over some stupid a*s..."

  "Book."  Brae finished for him.  "I remember that part very well.  Her mother was the red headed she devil?"

  "Yes."  Colin confirmed.  "Ivory was terrified of her.  I only know a little about her past, her growing up years, she didn't like to talk about it.  She had scars all over her body, put there by her mother.  Her mother, sometimes Ivory called the b*tch her sister, was a sadistic b*tch.  I promised to protect her, and f*ck, I failed."  The grief tore through him again, but he pushed it back, determined to finish the story so that he would never have to repeat it again.  It was just too painful.

  "The b*tch showed up, but Ivory and I managed to f*cking kill her.  Then, the cops came, Ivory thought I was f*cking setting her up, and...the rest as they say is history."  Nick moaned, as if in pain.  Colin looked at him.  "Not your fault Nick.  I was the dumba*s, and I reaped the consequences of it.  Consequences that have made me stronger, better."  Colin tasted the bitterness of that truth. 

  "That's right Nick."  Jada said.  "We should all be thanking you.  If he hadn't hit his head, we would have been stuck with the jerk.  Instead, we got a half way decent father out of it."

 

  Colin smiled wryly.  "There is that."

  "So, her family wasn't very nice?"  Luna asked in a small voice.

  Luna's tone of voice clued him in, that something was not quite right.  "What did you do Luna?"  Colin's asked sternly.

  Luna bit her lip nervously.  "Nothing Daddy.  I was just..."

  "Luna."

  Her shoulders slumped.  "We just wanted to know more about her, and since you couldn't remember her, it seemed like a good idea to..."

  "Sh*t.  We?"

  The girls glanced at each other.

   "Skye and I, we just wanted to know more about her."

  "F*ck."

  "Daddy, you keep cursing!"  Skye complained.

  Colin ignored Skye's complaint.  "Tell me what the f*ck the two of you have done, and don't leave anything out."  So Luna told him.  "Sh*t.  That was f*cking dangerous!  What if she had been alive?  You two would have brought the b*tch from h*ll down on our heads!"

  "But she has to be alive Daddy!"  Skye said.  "She picked up the body, according to the report we read."

 
  "Picked up the...sh*t."  Colin was horrified with all the implications of what Skye had said.

  "I'm sorry!  I didn't know it was dangerous!" Luna cried.

  "No more searching, okay?"  All of you, including Jack."

  "Hey, I wasn't a part of it at all!" Jack protested.

  "I'm not leaving any loopholes for Luna.  Now, promise."  They all promised, and Colin was relieved that at least that part was taken care of.  What the h*ll to do with the rest of it?  Even now, the b*tch could be just waiting for the perfect moment to attack.  "We'll be talking about this later."  He promised them.  "Every action has a consequence, whether..."

  "Positive or negative."  Luna and Skylar said together.  "We know."

  "Oh, you'll know all right."  He muttered.  He needed to consult with his Dad and Grandpa.  They might need some help from their Camulodunum cousins.  First he had to get through the rest of this family meeting.  He didn't fool himself into believing that everything would be f*cking okay now, but he knew he had least made inroads.  His family knew that he wasn't going to go back to the a*shole he had been when he was younger, he had changed for good.


~<>~


   "So what did your Dad finally decide to do?"

 

 
   Skye had been telling Hawk all about their family meeting, and how she and Luna had finally come clean about their search for their mother.  Neither one of them had known how dangerous it had been, but they knew now.   "We're grounded until we're hundred, that's what he says."  Skye grimaced.  "I think he's joking about the amount of time.  At least, I hope so!"  She added.  "That's why you'll have to visit me here for a while."

  Hawk smiled.  "That's not a hardship Skye.  I just enjoy being with you."

  Skye smiled back.  "I love being with you too!"

  "I hope you don't move."

  Moving had been one of the options tossed around as a solution to the Raven problem.  "Daddy is going to have some cousins of ours check things out, make sure that our online activities weren't found by her.  If it's all clear, we'll stay.  At least for a little while, Daddy says he's looking for a job and house in a less depressing town.  I don't want to lose you Hawk, if that happens, if we have to move."

  "Skye, I would follow you anywhere."  Hawk answered.  He wasn't worried about any investigation the family might do, he and his mother had covered their tracks well.  He looked like his father, not his mother, so he wasn't even worried about being recognized.  He fully expected them to find nothing amiss.

 

  "Really?"

  "Really." He assured her.


~<>~


  Jack crowed in triumph.  He had finally gotten it to work!  Ethan had given him the schematics for it, telling him they would need a far more powerful computer than what Jack had.

 

  Powerful computer.  Those two words were music to Jack's ears.  And he had done it.  Built a superior computer!   He wished he could patent it, and sell it, but Ethan had cautioned him against it.  They didn't want to cause too many ripples in the time continuum, that would cause untold disasters.

  So, sadly, he had to keep the knowledge to himself, but in the meantime...he had a SuperComputer!  He did a happy Jack dance.  Woot!  Woot! 

 This computer was more capable of processing, rendering, and building the intricate data and equations that Jack would need if he was going to save his family.  He'd had no real idea of the amount of work involved when he had agreed to help.  It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, he would have done it irregardless. 

  It was just taking longer than he had expected, the concepts and figures that Ethan threw out at him were mindboggling at times, and Jack had to actually work a little bit at understanding them.  Throw time paradoxes into the deal, and his mind was blown, on a regular basis.

 

  He tapped on the projected computer screen.  It was time to get back to work.  He was thinking of building himself a helper, one that wouldn't question, and would also be completely loyal.  One that wouldn't need to eat, or sleep, like Jack did...
 



________________________________________________________________________________________

Notes:  Whew!  Got through that one!  I hope all of that made sense. XD  So the "new" Colin is sticking around---losing his memory gave him a new perspective, lol  It was the only way I could think of to get through to such a hard headed, stubborn sim, haha

  They'll still have some issues, nothing is ever really resolved quickly, and Colin is aware of that, but they're on their way.  Brae had forgiven his brother, and moved on, a long time ago.  I figure the triplets are about 16.5 yrs old in this chapter, so a LOT of time has gone by.  Time that Colin spent being a decent human being.

  Colin doesn't like Devon or Hawk, and always rolls wishes to beat them up, lol  He senses something is wrong, he just doesn't know exactly what is wrong. =)

  His cursing is off/on, depending on his awareness of it.  When he's aware of it, he tries to curb himself, to make his daughter happy.  Yeah, Skye is a bit prissy, lol

  And---poor Nick.  He really did think it was his fault, and that everyone would hate him for it.

  Jake has 2 kids now with Sherri Nightblossom, they're pretty cute too.  I know Sherri is part of the Nightblossom tree, but I forget what branch, lol  That family expanded pretty quickly! =)

  Jack is such a cutie, I love all the faces he makes.  He still doesn't have a girlfriend, nor is he remotely interested.  


  The game has been quite obliging regarding Colin's fighter roll.  It sends burglars, lol

 

  Also---I used a ton of poses in this chapter, I took these pics a really long time ago, so I don't remember all of whose poses I used---but I'm pretty sure the crying ones (Skye and Luna) are Sunny's.  Thanks for making/sharing them Sunny! =)

  One last note, one thing I absolutely love about writing, is how knowing a character's motive can change our perspective.  For instance, if Hawk had been legit, that would have been a sweet conversation between him and Skye.  Since he has ulterior motives though, it could be seen as creepy/stalker like, haha  I'll follow you anywhere muahahahaha!

 

  Any questions?  I'll try to answer them.  Hopefully next chapter Gen 8 will take over, if not, then definitely the chapter after that.   Thanks for reading! =D